i do not like it here or there, I do not like it anywhere. edition 2

Edition 1


I like to think of myself as a mostly positive person. I am usually easy going and easy to get along with. That being said, I've been keeping a list on my phone of things about this world that annoy me and I'd like to present it to you here.
In no particular order-

1. Improper Instastory etiquette. I don't want to see you running, singing, eating or chewing gum. Show me what you bought at Target. Show me your baby learning to walk. Don't even think about chewing gum while having a solo lip syncing party.

2. Maternity photos where the mother wears lingerie. We all know how it happens. No need to show us what you were wearing.

3. Rolling at a red light. Red means stop. It doesn't mean roll at 2mph into over the stop line.

4. Posting a bad first baby photo. We live in a world where a baby's arrival is shared within 6 minutes of its birth. Have the decency of posting a good first picture of the baby. Don't post a picture of a naked, red and screaming little person. Would you like it if the world saw a picture of you like that? Don't do it to your offspring.

5. K instead of ok. If you don't have time to type or say the o you need to reevaluate your life.

6. Enneagram. I think knowing whether someone, particularly your spouse or child, is an introvert or extrovert can be so insightful. Being intentional to acknowledge their love language can make them feel wanted and nurtured. Anything beyond that seems like nonsense. I've listened to podcasts where they evaluate peoples personality type and assign all sorts of letters that mean nothing to me. "He's an INFJ and a 6 with a 7 wing." Or, "I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) so when the men were putting on the new roof and the dog was barking and the kids were screaming, it was too much for me." Does anyone like being in that situation? I particularly dislike when someone's actions are justified because of their number. "He wouldn't have gotten so mad if he wasn't a 4." Maybe he got mad because people get mad. (This is the point where Christopher rolls his eyes and says not everything is black and white. My story, my blog. If he wants to disagree he can start his own blog.) I'm sure there's a number/letter combination for people like me who don't care what they are but like I said, I don't care. 

7. When people talk about being on a diet while I'm eating something unhealthy. Let me eat my Doritos in peace. I need to eat my feelings after taking my child to Goodwill and causing a traffic jam in the middle of the aisle because she got stuck under the cart. 

8. Female James Bond. I heard a rumor someone was going to remake the original JB movies with a female lead. I have a 7 year (not a coincidence that it corresponds to the number of years I've been married) history of ups and downs with James Bond. I can't say I understand all the storylines or how he manages to fall off a moving train into a waterfall and appear with only a scratch, but he's grown on me. Talk of a female James Bond really irritates me. We don't need to recreate a classic series to prove that women are just as good as men. Imagine the outrage if Wonder Woman was played by Hugh Jackman.

9. When the hand dryer in a public restroom doesn't work and the paper towel holder is empty.

10. When people walk next to the sidewalk instead of in it.