I apologize if any Nashville drivers feel insulted upon reading this

Yesterday my alarm went off at 5:50. I don't like alarms and I really don't getting up when the first number on the clock is below 7 so you can imagine how happy I was to be up. I am hardly the Proverbs 31 woman when it comes to rejoicing in rising while it is still dark and all that. 

I had three doctor appointments in Nashville with the first being at 8:20 which meant I had to leave before 6:30 to beat the traffic. I've mentioned before that Nashville drivers aren't my favorite. In what city does it make sense to take a left turn through an intersection when the light is red?? Allow me to show you what morning rush hour looks like. I am the poor, unfortunate soul in the red ca.

I about lost my mind. 

I was traveling with Louiz (as in "Geez Louiz, I can't believe I'm relying on you to get me to my destination/Geez Louiz, why are you recalculating again.") but he wasn't always too helpful. The arrow down at the bottom told me to turn left but the green road went straight than at some point turned around and went the opposite direction. This is one reason I should never be a pilot. I can barely point myself in the right direction when I'm on the ground. 

I eventually made it to the appointment with 10 minutes to spare. The receptionist gave me paperwork and this:

It's a restaurant buzzer. Because the nurses aren't big into calling your name anymore.

She didn't explain what to do or where to go when it went off. I had no clue and didn't want to seem uneducated by asking so I sat there staring at it and contemplating what I would order if it was a real restaurant buzzer. A cheese bagel and coffee from the Au Bon Pain down the hall in case you're wondering. Between the alarm going off at the crack of ridiculous, the traffic and the buzzer I was ready to curl up for a nap and call it a day. At 8:16am.

And then the doctor asked if any females in my family have a misshapen, unusually sized or underdeveloped uterus. 

AS IF I WOULD KNOW.

I can tell you the eye color and birthday of every female in my extended family but I have no idea the state of anyone's uterus. I guess my mom's performed well because she successfully had twins but beyond that I'm completely clueless. 

I was also completely clueless about French kisses having a scent. 

It really wasn't a bad day. Sesame is small but not in danger, I had almost five hours between the second and third appointments so I had way too much plenty of time to do every errand I could think of and, most importantly, I learned what a French kiss smells like.