{insert creative title here}

1. The following have done nothing but irritate my OCD tendencies. 

* I cannot for the life of me attach this shade to the car window so that lines up perfectly with the top and bottom of said window. I've tried it 14 different ways and failed 14 different times. I'd have a conniption if I had to sit next to that window. 

* Mom and Elizabeth visited last week and someone loaded the dishwasher like this. I can't even.

It meant using 34 precious seconds during nap time but I had to rearrange it. I stopped short of categorizing the silverware.

2. I enjoy the royals as much as the next person (as long as the next person isn't Christopher). Everyone knows Kate and I are BFF's which was once again proven by the fact that we both dressed our children in stripes on the same day.

(There's a new show called I Wanna Marry Harry coming to a television near you. I have so many things to say about it but I can't find the right words. Are American women the only ones gullible enough to believe Prince Harry would be on a reality dating show?)

3. Last week I went to the doctors for blood work. I stopped at the restroom as we were leaving because if there's ever a time I'm guaranteed to need the bathroom it's when I'm stuck in traffic and things get desperate. I wanted to be proactive and nip that issue in the bud. I hung the diaper bag on the door hook and put my very full, very thick plastic water bottle on top of the toilet paper holder to my left. For some reason the toilet paper holder was about three feet higher than normal but I didn't think anything of it. I was going about my business when all the sudden something attacked my left shoulder. I was so startled that I fell against the opposite wall which caused the diaper bag to swing and hit me in the head. I was sure someone was kidnapping me and poor Sesame would grow up never knowing her mother. I don't even have a will and how would Christopher know who to give my collection of unopened lip gloss to if I died there on the 8th floor? I didn't see anyone else in the stall when I entered but in Spider Man he attaches himself to the ceiling above his unsuspecting targets so SURELY that could happen in real life. Then I looked down and saw my water bottle rolling away. I had been attacked by my water bottle. The only scrap of dignity I left the bathroom with was the knowledge I hadn't screamed at the water bottle.

4. I've been trying to decide what I'll do when the doctor tells me I can start exercising. I briefly considered running again but then decided that was a ludicrous idea.  

Amen and amen.