Any guesses how Miss Manners would feel about this?

One of my first selfies (I hate that word!) looked like this:

I completely missed my face.

But look who is a pro at taking a selfie! None other than the POTUS and his buddies, the Prime Ministers of Britain and Denmark.

All was fun and games until Mrs. O realized the shenanigans going on to her right. 

Then things suddenly turned somber and serious and generally the way one should behave AT A FUNERAL.

Leave it to the American...

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washing machines require water, my hair needs dye, and other thoughts from the weekend

I wish I could say I spent the weekend showcasing to the world my brilliance and wit.

 

But I can’t.

Instead, I stood in our laundry room/pantry on Friday morning having a conversation with myself about the empty bottle of laundry detergent. I looked inside the bottle and thought to myself, “I wonder if the washing machine will be ok if I swish water around in this bottle to get out the last remaining bit of detergent then pour it in the machine. Will water ruin a washing machine?”

I mean really.

It’s a washing machine, for Pete’s sake. OF COURSE it’s ok if water is in it. I’d even go so far as to say water is a necessary part of a washing machine working properly. As soon as the words crossed my brain I vowed no one would hear about my momentary lack of intelligence, but here I am, telling the whole world. In my own defense, I was just trying to do doing everything possible to avoid flooding the house for the second time in one month.

 

In other news, on Saturday I finished knitting a bear hat for a baby. Obviously my Army bear is not the intended wearer, but he was the only model I had around. (After all, it’s not like a bear needs to wear a hat that looks like a bear.)

Something very tragic happened on Sunday. We were sitting in the church parking lot before Sunday school and I opened the visor mirror so I could apply my lip gloss. I leaned forward and SAW A GRAY HAIR. It wasn’t the whole strand of hair, just about an inch and a half long, BUT IT WAS GRAY. That make me forgot all about my lips because GRAY TODAY MEANS WHITE TOMORROW AND PERHAPS IT’S TIME TO START DYING MY HAIR OR BUYING WIGS. All Christopher did during this time was read about how the world is collapsing (aka the news) on his phone (heartless because clearly his wife’s world was collapsing around her ears) and suggest that I didn’t pull out all my grays because then I’d be bald. He didn’t even have a black marker on him so I could color that hair. You can imagine how much attention I paid to the Sunday school lesson. 

 

By the time we arrived at the park for our picnic date, I was somewhat calmer.

The gray hair isn't even visible in this picture. My ridiculously long arm is visible in three lenses but at this point I should probably pick my battles carefully.

My Brilliance is Just Plain Staggering

It really doesn't bother me that I don't own a car yet. I don't mind using either our family van or car and just paying for insurance and gas. Actually, I don't at all like paying for insurance or gas but you know what I mean. Apparently though, not always having and using one specific car is playing with my brain because as I walked out of Pier I Imports today, I was looking at my van thinking 'really? Did I park over there? And the sunlight is making it look really purplish instead of red.' By the time I reached the parking lot I decided that that wasn't my van after all and when I looked to the right to check for oncoming cars, I saw another red car and realized that I hadn't even been driving the van after all. I was driving the CAR.

It is at times like these that I just feel oh, so brilliant.