Saturday, March 10, 2012

between the near poisoning and the weight gain, it's surprising we survived the weekend

This weekend started off with a bang (actually it was a beep) at 2:28 Friday morning. We assumed it was the fire alarm going beep beep beep every 30 seconds, so we stood on a chair and disconnected it from the ceiling. At least, Christopher stood on the chair and disconnected it. I got out of bed, walked over to survey the the scene, got a drink, and went back to bed. Obviously quite helpful. My fire alarm area of expertise lies in standing below them while energetically waving a towel to make them stop beeping, and I didn't think that would be of much help here. The beeping didn't stop and we eventually realized it was coming from the carbon monoxide detector. Then we discussed whether we were going to die or not. We choose to be proactive in keeping ourselves alive, so we opened all the windows to let in the freezing, straight-off-the-river air. On the outside I remained very calm, but on the inside I was thinking, "How does one know if they are being poisoned by carbon monoxide? Do they feel nauseous? Because my stomach does feel a little funny. Is my throat burning?" After consulting the instruction sticker behind the carbon monoxide tester, we decided it was the battery, not an alarm telling us to RUN FOR OUR LIVES INTO THE FREEZING COLD AS FAST AS WE COULD. 

So that was a fun night.

Saturday afternoon we went to the science museum. In the outer space exhibit, I stood on a special scale that told me I would weight 511 lbs. on Jupiter. I don't think I'd want to live on Jupiter for too long. After the museum, we went to the AT&T store at the mall because my phone had stopped making and receiving calls. The man behind the desk told me I could use his phone to call tech support, but just as he went to hand it to me, the phone broke. Technology was against me at every turn. That night we saw Act of Valor. I thought it was an excellent movie.

Sunday we went to church and sat one row away from our favorite baby, Ethan. We're not sure what his real name is, so we assigned him one. He is I may have brought up borrowing him for a week (or forever), and Christopher replied, "Sure. You go get the baby and I'll go get the car. Then to save time, we'll drive straight to the police station." Except for that last part, he is coming along quite nicely when it comes to my frequent baby-borrowing plans.

You all have a lovely week. Try to avoid poisoning of any sort.


Jenn said...

Ah the carbon monoxide detector. Ours has a nice giant button on the front of it that is just SCREAMING for someone of below-average height to press it, then wonder why their ears won't stop ringing. (Nope, not describing my dog.)

And hey, I probably weigh a thousand pounds on Jupiter, but I like to think that that severely reduces our chances of blowing off into outer space, what with the lack of atmosphere and spinning and all. People would just FLOCK to us so they could hold on (well, to me at least).

Laura Darling said...

Hahahaha I laughed out loud at Christopher's comment. And as far as being heavier on Jupiter...that might be lousy when you climb on the scale...but IMAGINE HOW MANY GUILT FREE SONIC SWEET TEAS YOU COULD DRINK!!

The New Normal said...

Love your husband's comment :)
Our carbon monoxide detector went off constantly when my husband was overseas until I finally pulled the darn thing off the wall. Then I constantly worried that we were being poisoned by carbon monoxide. I couldn't win...
Glad that you had a nice weekend :)