Friday, November 22, 2013

l suppose I must now live a life where I curl up with my bifocals and read the AARP magazine

I thought it was time to do some sort of life update that didn't involve pictures of my slowly expanding stomach, but I got sidetracked by taking the My Mental Age test (again) and now I've spiraled into the pits of depression. 

Two weeks ago it said I was 43.

Today it said 46.


Although that would explain my gray hairs.

I'm convinced this drastic aging has to do with the answers I gave regarding my views on a) what should not be shared on social media and b) that the intended way for a baseball hat to be worn is for the visor to be in the front. See? The below situation could have been avoided if he was wearing his hat the way the inventor intended.
So now I feel useless to the world because I've officially skipped the ages of 25-45 and I'm not one bit wiser. Case in point: today I went for my weekly visit to the post office. A mild panic attack happened because I didn't know if the proper answer to "Are there any liquids in this box?" was yes or no when the product in question was lotion. Either I missed that lesson in science or it was never discussed because HOW SHOULD I KNOW? I didn't want to seem stupid, so I twisted my keys around for a minute before saying, "Uuumm. Well. There's lotion in there." Ronnie had obviously been trained by the USPS powers that be and could be responsible for figuring out the chemical properties of lotion. 

Tonight, provided no one gets sick or needs to take a last minute trip to Walmart to pick up prescriptions (and we all know I'm not talking about myself here), we're going to see a comedian in Nashville. I really hope he's funny. Is that too much to ask? Sometimes Christopher will watch comedians on Netflix and will go minutes on end without laughing. What's the point of watching a comedian if he's not making you laugh? If a comedian can't made me laugh within the first 10 minutes (and I mean LAUGH, not ha that's funny), I'm over him. He has failed at his job.

A second burning thought about tonight's event is this:
I'm especially looking for something of the chip and dip variety.

I just saw that on the comedy club website it says Dress code: Yes, please wear clothes. Why do they need to specify the need for clothes? Have they had issues with people assuming it's a nudist establishment?

Maybe I really am 46 years old if the thought of a bunch of naked strangers being in the same place as me makes me uncomfortable.


Jenn said...

I hope y'all had fun! And I usually wonder if there's food everywhere too, you're not alone.

Erin said...

Can you ask Ronnie the next time you're if liquids are banned from being shipped? It's only that I'd like to send some booze for Christmas and in the holiday spirit I'd really rather not lie to the post office employee.