* I did not begin to make a vanilla cake only to realize that we had NO VANILLA. I mean, seriously, isn't one of Emeril's first rules for cooking: always be prepared with all the ingredients before you begin?
* I did not borrow the vanilla from our friend down the road then discover that we had NO EGGS. Clearly Emeril's rules weren't sticking in my head.
* I did not want to sink through the floor, quickly, when my sister told our friend(when we went to get the vanilla) that the doctor gave her a prescription for Tylenol with cocaine instead of Tylenol with codeine for her concussion.
* I did not make up "one of Emeril's first rules for cooking" just to sound cool(and to make people stop thinking about my cooking unpreparedness)
* I did not fold the butter wrapper into a nice, neat square before throwing it away. Like the trash guys care anyway.
* I did not say I was done eating cookies then eat four more. But they were small!!
* I did not "taste" the butter/sugar mixture when making the aforementioned cake. And since you asked, no, I did not have to beg/borrow/steal/buy the sugar and butter; we happened to have a nice stock of those two ingredients.
* I did not secretly hope that the baby visiting our church yesterday would start crying and be taken out by her mother so I that I would "have" to take her up to the nursery for come cuddle time.
* I did not even for one little minute consider kidnapping the adorable baby boy at my cousin's birthday party on Saturday. Nope, not me!
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