I promise I will not discuss the royals again for at least two weeks

The other day I said to Christopher, "I'm going to say something you don't care about at all." He replied, "Is it about the royals?"

Yes. Yes, it is.

This is been our marriage for the last several months:

Christopher: "Trump fired so and so and is looking for a replacement. North and South Korea had a discussion about the missile crisis. The economic structure of Botswana is in danger. The new ebola quarantine is not yet proven to be effective."

Sarah: "Do you think Kate pronounces the new baby's name as Louis or Louie? Who do you think will walk Meghs down the aisle? Why did we move to Georiga instead of London? Did you see Jenna Bush Hager's interview with Joanna Gaines? Do you want to make spinach artichoke dip this weekend?"

Our interests could not be more different.

I've spent the last few days recovering from and discussing the details of the Harry and Megh's wedding. I KNOW that's all I've talked about lately but it was a big occasion for me. I thought I needed to wake up at 4am to watch and I was prepared to set my alarm for 3:58. I considered sleeping in the living room so I wouldn't have to walk anywhere. I can't wake up early to exercise but I'll wake up early to watch people I've never met get married in another country. Thankfully my research revealed that I didn't have to wake up until closer to 6. It was still too early but I took one for the team.

Princess Sarah of Living Room, Couch and Pillows. Dutchesses of Snacks and Tea. 
Dutchess Annabelle of Sesameville and Honorary Drinker of Milk

The event did not disappoint. I love fancy. The more pomp and circumstance the better. All the silk and lace, flags and carriages made me so happy. Annabelle was enthralled too which made me very proud. She woke up right after the ceremony ended and was disappointed to miss the "churchy part." She loved the procession and spent the day turning all her toys into carriages and waving to the people. She needs the practice before her wedding to George.

After the wedding, we did a return at TJ Maxx, signed up for the summer reading program at the library and bought a plant for Benjamin "Little Blue" Harrison's tank. In short, I was reminded that I am simply a commoner. To be honest, I like my life as a commoner, fake crowns and all.

But if anyone wants to send me a real crown I won't turn it down.

Maybe we should rename the fish prince philip

Lately I've turned into a once a week blogger and it's not how I like to operate. I've had nothing interesting to blog about but yesterday I added a new member to our family and that seems worth mentioning.

We got a llama.

Just kidding. It's a fish but I wish it was a llama.

If was a very spur of the moment purchase. Generally, I wouldn't suggest adopting something that requires care as a spur of the moment purchase but a fish is a fish. It doesn't require potty training or make a mess painting. We've been wanting to get a new fish since our dearly beloved Millard T. Fillmore swam to his watery grave in December. For two years he survived multiple weeks of us going on vacation and not finding him a fish sitter. He survived half the bottle of fish food being poured on his head. He survived a little boy dropping a toy car into his tank. As soon as he heard we had to move he gave up on life. He died the night before he and Christopher were to begin the drive to our home. 

(AB just licked the handle on the refrigerator door. I told her to wipe it off and she licked her hand and wiped the door. I meant with a towel, not an equally dirty hand.) 

Yesterday we went to Target which took us three times longer than necessary because Annabelle stopped and talked to every mannequin. After that, we swung by the Hob Lob (Hobby Lobby) which happened to be near Pet Smart. We'd had a rough morning so I thought a fish would perk us up. When we bought Filmore AB was more interested in the dog toys than the fish so I choose him. Yesterday was a different story. She wanted to buy all the little decorations to put in the tank. She wanted a castle bigger than the bowl we were getting. When it came to choosing a fish, she said, "Oh, hi little guy! You're so cuuuuuuute!" to them all. She wanted a goldfish. She wanted a neon fish. She thought we should get a cat bed even though we don't have a cat. We finally settled on a red fish.
I'd like to introduce Benjamin "Little Blue" Harrison. He has the tiniest blue spot near his tail but Sesame zeroed in on it and wanted it included in his name.

He survived his first night in his new home swimmingly.

As for the rest of today, I'm in full preparation mode for the royal wedding in the morning. I will be watching alone but that does not dampen my enthusiasm. Lemon muffins in honor of their lemon lavender cake will be made. My crown will be polished and ready. I am 1000% ready to see my favorite royal, Princess Charlotte, walk down the aisle. For someone who has a history of only being partially on the Meghan & Harry train, I am fully onboard for this day of festivities. Good times are about to be had and I am here for it all.

Real life update- Annabelle just asked me to "make my jeans into paper." 

My actual life is not as glamorous as my imaginary Princess Sarah life. 

a tale of three mothers

You may not have heard, but a new baby boy was born into the royal family this week. Of course, I don't care about such things but I know some people do.

KIDDING.

I walked around Walmart with my phone propped up in my purse so I could see the live stream and not miss the baby's debut in front of the hospital. If I had the same level of dedication to exercise that I have to this family I'd be a supermodel in less than two weeks.

Kate wasn't the only one to have a baby that day. Annabelle went into Walmart intending to buy a veterinary kit (or as she says, "a doctor for animals who are sick who need a doctor because they broke a nose or something so they need to see the doctor kit") but she got a doll instead. An adoption happened right there in aisle 11. It was very touching. She and the baby have been inseparable since. She has four other dolls she plays with occasionally but had nothing like her attachment to this baby. It could be that I pushed the other babies too much or maybe it's just the age she's at, but either way, it's so sweet to see her care for the baby.

There was a brief period of time where the baby was called both Ruthie and Paige, but even Kate Middleton hasn't released the name of her baby yet so the delay in naming was keeping with the theme of the day. The name officially decided on is Paige Aige.

She went on a field trip to the aquarium with us yesterday. Annabelle didn't show her the frogs because she knows I hate them.

All this talk of new babies got me thinking about when I had Sesame. Kate looks like a glowing angel sent down from heaven. Prince Squishy Cheeks is bundled to perfection. She looks as if she was on her way to an event at Royal Albert Hall and she happened to pick up a baby along the way.

This was me a few hours after the worse hours of my life I had Annabelle. I have never looked worse. My face is puffy, I had been crying for hours and all I wanted was more pain medicine. There was nothing angelic or heavenly about it.

Apparently, I've lost all self-respect. I swore no one would ever see this picture.

I know Kate had a team of people to help her get ready and look glamorous but I'm sure she wanted nothing more than to be wearing sweatpants and slippers instead of parading her child in front of the world. I felt so bad that she didn't get to lie down for hours on end. She may have looked saintly but I know under that pretty red dress she was wearing mesh underwear and a pad the size of New Mexico. Motherhood is the great equalizer. 

it's all fun and games until you forget you're a mother

I spent part of Monday morning cleaning up a vomit covered child, car seat and sippy cup. I used every single wipe I had. Happy new year to me!

It hasn't been all gagging and throwing up. Our calendar has been quite full. I've become so popular since I moved away! Grandma Connie came up for Christmas and we had a super quick visit on Christmas Eve. Grandma confirmed that you can wear big earring and a big necklace at the same time. She's a true fashion icon.

Last week we decorated gingerbread cookies. I told everyone to "not stress and keep it low key." I did not take my own advice. I made a cookie of Princess Charlotte coming out of church after the Christmas service. My obsession with the royals may need to be reigned in a little. 

Mom got us and Grandma tickets to Disney on Ice for Christmas. It was so good. Annabelle saw the other kids eating giant snow cones from overpriced souvenir cups and kept asking for one. She said, "I'd yike somesign cold, dee-yicious and refreshing." I gave her a bottle of water instead.

She looked like this almost the entire time. It was priceless when she saw Minnie and Mickey. I love that she's young enough that she truly believes it's them and not people in costumes.

I was so impressed with the skaters. I can barely skate but Pumba back there had on FOUR skates. That's why he gets the big bucks and I hope to make it down the stairs without falling.

The show was held at the same arena where Dad I saw saw Josh Groban many years ago and it brought back so many wonderful memories. We sat next to the aisle about 10 rows from the front. At one point Josh walked down the aisle next to us as he was singing and momentarily held my hand. I repeat, WE HELD HANDS. It was one of the best moments of my life. If the security guard hadn't pushed him along I might have proposed. 

Autumn and Joanna came by for lunch one day. We named ourselves The Single Ladies Club back in the day before I got married and Autumn met Nick. Now Joanna and Autumn are both single again but it's too complicated to keep changing the club name to match our relationship statuses. I always think of Katie as my oldest friend but in reality it's Autumn and Joanna. I've known them since they were born. I used to think they weren't cool to hang out with since they're younger than me, but I finally started hanging out with them more when I was around 12 and we've been together ever since. We made our traditional bacon macaroni and cheese with a side of roasted cauliflower. Annabelle wasn't impressed with our meal so I took a DNA sample to find her real mother. No child of mine is allowed to dislike that meal! 

We were too busy showing pictures of our nieces and nephews to take an updated SLC picture, but here's one of Autumn and I from a few years ago when she got a snuggie. I hope someone decorates a gingerbread cookie to look like us.

Last night I went to the movies with Grandma and Janet. We saw Lion and loved it. The scenery was gorgeous and the main character adorable. When I got home I was telling Mom all about it and how it cemented my desire to adopt a little girl from India. I got so caught up in talking about her I forgot I already have a child until Mom said something about Annabelle. Who forgets they have a child?!?! I shouldn't think I can be responsible for a second child when I don't even remember I have one in the next room! And just like that I lost my chance of receiving the 2017 Mother of the Year award.

Currently, the It's Beginning to Look A Lot like Christmas edition

Watching: the Gilmore Girls movie. Obviously. I liked it but didn't love it. I felt like they weren't really in the groove until 40 minutes before the show ended. But those 40 minutes! Luke's speech in the kitchen! I would have accepted a proposal from him if Christopher wasn't sitting next to me.

I don't even like phone calls but I'd answer for Luke.

Feeling depressed about: My current size. My pants are bigger than I'd like them to be and none of my exercise and healthy eating is doing anything to fix it. Last night I set myself up for failure by looking at the tiny skirt I wore for our rehearsal dinner. I lay on the bed and bemoaned my hip size for the one hundredth time this month. When I sat up the button on my pants broke off and flew across the room. So that did absolutely nothing to help me feel better.

Reading: Home Fires Burning and A Day in the Sun with Olaf. I barely have time to read the former because I spend so much time reading the latter. I almost have it memorized. 

Not reading: the I Heart Organizing blog. I followed it for organizational tips but I've barely read any posts. Annabelle's closest floor is proof of that.

Looking for: Baby Jesus. Annabelle is very into playing with her Little People nativity set. The first day I took it out for her she said maybe our landlord's father Mr. Jim would like to play Baby Jesus with her. He was over doing yard work today so he came in to visit her. The four wise men and two camels were there in all their glory but Jesus was no where to be found. As Mr. Jim put it, "All the supporting cast is here but the main attraction is missing." AB asked Christopher if Baby Jesus was in his belly. I think Jesus is probably hiding under the couch with all the other lost toys. There may not have been room for him in the inn but there's plenty of room under the couch.

Collecting: all the little Christmas trees. I only meant to buy one for Sesame's room but I got sucked in by sales and ended up with three mini trees of varying sizes. That lead to me buying multiple boxes of fairy lights and a glittery gold deer decoration. The Christmas decor slope is very slippery.

Buying: Christmas cards. I LOVE cards, specifically photo cards.  Growing up I was always the first to the mailbox at Christmas time so I could open the cards. We'd tape Christmas cards around the doorway and I loved looking at them. Now that I have my own home I hang Christmas cards from my snowflake garland then move the photos to the refrigerator for the rest of the year. I've conducted a ongoing study since getting married and concluded that people don't send cards out like they used to. I don't understand non-card senders. Who wouldn't want to send a little holiday joy? I start planning my cards in September. It's serious business! This year I ordered some laser-cut cards from Tiny Prints. I was torn between the laser-cut and the glitter cards but Christopher doesn't love glitter the same way I do so I went with the more conservative option. I've already decided 2017 will be the year of the glitter card. 

Annabelle requested this card to send Prince George. I hope he remembers to rsvp so we buy enough goldfish.

Currently- the running on very little sleep edition

Before I get into what it sure to be an intellectual and brain-stimulating post, I have to say that insomnia is THE WORST. My young boss is very inconsiderate and insists on waking me up for work at 6 instead of 8:30 even if I've spent the night like this.



Nothing I say or do can be used against me.

+ Drooling over: pictures from Princess Charlotte's christening. The world has once again seen that they are the perfect family. I am once again considering throwing out all the clothes in my closet and buying new outfits that I think Kate would wear.  I'll also be adding royal baby pram to my next baby registry. This particular picture stood out because it appears William is having a deep conversation with my sweet future son in law about a) walking in the right direction or b) trying to cut him off at the pass before he sits down in the middle of the sidewalk. I can relate to both those scenarios. The royals are just like us.

+ Spitting out: a fly. There was a fly in my coffee and it went in my mouth. What a fine way to start a Monday.

+ Watching: Sleepless in Seattle. Last night I sat on the living room floor watching it as I painted my nails. I had never seen the whole thing but I loved it. While my nails dried I ate ice cream right out of the container. My ten year old self who believed being an adult meant watching whatever you want while you eat whatever you want would have been so happy. I also thought by age 26 I'd be running an orphanage with 25 children and married to an astronaut. There were a few things about life I didn't quite understand.

+ Smelling: a dirty diaper my new gardenia candle. We went to Bath & Body Works this morning and I got sucked into the 50% off section. After much scent testing (and very little positive feedback from AB) I picked out two of the 3-wick candles. I have never been so excited to light a candle. I might go back and buy five more.

+ Reading: Life After Life. From the Amazon review as I'm too tired (see above) to write my own: "Every time Ursula Todd dies, she is born again. Each successive life is an iteration on the last, and we see how Ursula's choices affect her, those around her, and--so boldly--the fate of the 20th-century world." Its not as morbid as it sounds for a book about someone who keeps dying.

+ Writing: Annabelle's birthday card. Before you judge me for being three months late, I want you to know I did buy the card in March. It went from sitting on the stairs to sitting on my dresser to laying the floor by my bed back to the dresser. Yesterday Annabelle found it, tasted it, and pulled the raised flower off the front. She dropped it down the vent and it joined the earing and quarters she previously sent to the place of no return. 

+ Eating: chocolate. All the chocolates.

I know it looks like I'm being a pig but I'm not. I'm doing a study of chocolate textures. It's for the good of the people. 





in honor of the new princess

In the event that you live under a rock and didn't hear the news, Kate Middleton had her baby today. As Princess Annabelle accurately predicted a few months ago, the new baby is a little girl. We look forward to meeting AB's future sister in law any day now.

We wore our tiaras and royal sashes to celebrate.



PS. I cannot get over how good Kate looked leaving the hospital. I know she has hair and makeup people but still. When I left the hospital I looked seven months pregnant, my face was as round as a basketball, I was wearing maternity pants and my feet were too swollen to fit into my shoes. I want to send Kate a gift basket full of sweatpants and a variety of pain killers.

in which Annabelle predicts the gender of her future inlaw



As future members of the royal family we're very excited about the upcoming birth of William and Kate's baby. We're especially excited to learn the gender as the baby will be AB's brother or sister in law. This morning I had Annabelle, Prince George's future bride, predict the gender. I told her to pick the crown if she thinks it's a boy and the tiara if she thinks it's a girl.





I'm delighted that she thinks it's a girl. Imagine the wardrobe Annabelle will be able to borrow from!

Checking to see if the tiara is pure silver.

This is her "My tiara is too tight" face. All the royals out there understand the feeling.

Opinions subject to change at any time without notice.



from one royal to another

Dear Prince George,
   Thank you so much for the lovely card you sent inviting me to your first birthday party. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you. Unfortunately my private airplane (which I refuse to believe is really a swing) is at the mechanics. I'm having a new sound system installed and it won't be complete until next Thursday. I can't travel without my plane swing. I hope you understand. 
   Do you ever feel like always being the center of attention is almost more than one small person can bear? Sometimes all you can do is wear oversized bloomers, clutch your pearls and gaze off into the distance as you dream of a life where you can fuss just because you feel like it and no one comes running to sniff your bottom. 

I saw a picture of you talking a walk with your nanny, Maria Teresa. I too have a nanny/royal baby carrier/maid/chef/court jester/housekeeper. Her name is Mother Dearest Whom I Love with All My Heart. She's responsible for polishing my tiara every day. 

I'd like to invite you and your mother over for an afternoon snack. We'll pull out the best china for the moms and you can use one of my bottles. I don't often drink from a bottle, but I'll do anything for you, George dear,

Of all the princes in my life right now, you're my favorite. I'll set my crown for you any day.

Love,

Her Royal Highness Princess Annabelle of the Rock n Play, Duchess of all Lions and Elephants