Friday, October 31, 2014

all the randomness you could ever need

Well, it's Halloween. We didn't celebrate halloween growing up so it's never an important holiday for me. If I want peanut butter cups I'd much rather buy my own then take one from a stranger when I know nothing of the cleanliness of their home and food handling habits. (Christopher would say my food handling habits aren't up to the standards of the Le Cordon Blue cooking school, but I say no one has died or even contracted a food borne illness from my kitchen. Not to mention that one of us can cook rice without reading the directions and it's not him.) I was going to dress Annabelle up as a peacock but my bubble was burst when Christopher reminded me that the pretty peacocks are male. WHATEVER, Mr. Animal Expert. I ran out of time to make her that costume (there's always next year!) so I spent much of last night sewing an alternate costume that may or may not see the light of day. It's raining here and we have no grandparents in the area to visit so I'm on the fence about whether we'll take her out or not.

We went to Old Navy yesterday to return a pair of pants. Every time I enter that store something awkward happens. Last time they put me in a little dressing room and the stroller got stuck between the door and the bench. I had to kneel on the bench and pick the stroller up at the same time just to get out. This time Sesame dumped her snack all over herself and the car seat five minutes before I knocked over a shirt/vest/scarf display. They love me at Old Navy. They see me coming and immediately call the disaster recovery team. 

Every Wednesday the library on post has story time. Annabelle enjoys seeing people besides me and I enjoy a free activity that gets us out of the house so it's a win win. The leader is nice but not exactly the brightest of light bulbs. We had just finished singing Twinkle Twinkle when she said, "I wish I knew the tune for the ABC song." All the parents stared at her because Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and ABC have the same exact tune. Despite this hiccup, she's very intent on preparing the children for preschool. PRESCHOOL. The oldest child in the group is barely two and half the children can't even sit up for longer than three minutes without falling over. Let's worry about sleeping through the night before we make sure they can recite the colors of the rainbow in the correct order. I'm not concerned about my little Einstein. She knows how to stick her tongue out so I think we're well on our way to preschool greatness.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

seven month Annabelle

Laying on the floor and contemplating my future as I turned 7 months.
Vital statistics: I weigh 14.3lbs and am 26" long. Mom knows this because she spent the month crying and stressing about my weight after the doctor told she wasn't feeding me enough. (Editorial comment- I need a month long vacation to Europe after this month.)

Favorite foods: Puffs, pears, bread, apples, rice and anything that isn't banana flavored.

Biggest dislikes: Having my face washed and diaper changes in the middle of the night. (Editorial comment- she wakes up because her diaper is wet so she shouldn't complain when it's changed.)

Favorite toys: paper, plastic, (Mom says I collect those like I'm a recycling bin), my abacus, Honeypot the bear. My favorite way to play is to pick something up with my feet and hold it there as I touch it with my hands.
Party hats and pj's. That's how I roll.
Milestones of my young life this month:
* I said mama! Usually I only say it when I'm distressed. 
* I visited a pumpkin patch and enjoyed eating hay.
* Some days I'm really quiet but other days I talk/babble/scream/screech/squeal.
* I celebrated Daddy's birthday! Mom dressed me up in a party hat and dress. She wanted me to be the centerpiece of the party but I was tired so I cried and was the party pooper. 
"Prince George! I am so touched! You want to share your snack with me?!'" 

Monday, October 27, 2014

needless to say she didn't have any hazmat suits to hand out

I took Annabelle to the doctors this morning to be weighed. The receptionist asked if I had traveled to or been in contact with anyone visiting an African country within the last 21 days. I said no and she replied, "Oh good. They didn't tell me what to do if you said yes." 

Rest assured that in some toy store there is a Barbie doll more prepared to deal with an ebola patient than the employee at a government medical center.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

we went to the zoo, zoo, zoo

We took AB to the zoo for the first time on Monday. To the surprise of none I was the most excited about the trip. This girl certainly wasn't bursting with excitement on the way there. 
Dad explained the finer points of exotic birds. Ornithology is not one of his many gifts. Were we looking at an ostrich? A hoopoe? An African crane?
She was still very serious and not quite sure what was going on when we went to the walk-through kangaroo exhibit.
But then we went to the petting area. 
I LOVE ALL THE GOATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to mail this picture to anyone having a bad day. If I was witty I'd make it into a meme.
I thought it would be cute to take a mother daughter picture in front of the elephants. Annabelle had other ideas. Isn't she a little young to act like she wants to avoid being seen with her mother? 
"Fine. I'll look but I won't smile. I'll give no indication that you have cared for me and catered to my every need for the last six months." 
Two-thirds of the family is looking at the camera. I call that a successful family picture.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Welcome to my pity party

* I was crazy enough to think an 8:15 appointment was a good idea.
* I had a mascara related accident which resulted in mascara all over my hands.
* I didn't dress Sesame in warm enough clothes.
* It was threatening to rain. If there's anything I dislike it's doing errands in the rain. It's 15 times worse with a baby.
* I got stuck behind four school buses.
* My cd was skipping.
* I couldn't find a parking spot. 
* My brand new necklace that I love got caught on something and broke.
All this before eight o'clock.
* The receptionist gave me paperwork to fill out. None of the questions made sense. Why would they ask if Annabelle is pregnant or likely to become pregnant in the next 30 days? Why would they ask if she's been feeling suicidal? I asked the nurse and she said I filled the adult patient paper. Annabelle is the only one in our family who goes there but they've given me the adult paper each time. They haven't yet made the connection that I am not the patient for well baby appointments. 
* The nurse scolded me for letting Annabelle chew on raw carrot sticks. It's "too much of a chocking hazard." It's not like I'm handing her a container of marbles.
* The doctor talked me to for 30 minutes about how Annabelle's weight dropped slightly. She went from the 9th percentile at five months to below 0 percentile (how does that even make mathematical sense) at six months so she needs to start drinking formula and have more calories. She even threw out the term "failure to thrive" while Annabelle was bouncing around on my lap while laughing and VERY MUCH not failing. She lost 1oz since she was there on September 26th. It's not like she's back to her birth weight. The doctor wants her to gain a pound by Tuesday. YEAH RIGHT.
* I almost cried in the office.
* I sat Annabelle on the exam table but accidentally placed her on a little indent and she almost fell onto the floor.
* I cried on the way home.
* I put a pot of water on the stove to boil and walked away for a few minutes. A few minutes later I smelled something funny and upon investigation, it became clear that I turned on the wrong burner. The plastic wrap covering one of my very favorite fall plates holding my homemade sugar cookies was melting and I watched as the plated cracked in half. I lost the plate and the cookies I was going to eat to make myself feel better.
* We're almost out of diapers.

I'm going to sit upstairs on the couch and watch a movie. I hope the tv works and the couch doesn't break. 

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

For those keeping track at home, this is the 15th time we've needed maintenance people this year.

Subtitled: They might as well move into the guestroom

I feel like I've had next to nothing to blog about lately. We don't sit at home doing nothing, but most of what we do doesn't seem worth mentioning and sometimes I want things to talk about besides what the baby is doing. Shot me if I ever write something along the lines of "Annabelle can move her toes! Call Brian Williams and the evening news! Get the Harvard application!" 

* I joined a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group last week. I was almost too chicken to get out of the car because I knew I wouldn't know anyone, but I can't complain about not having friends with kids nearby if I don't make an effort. They gave me a paper to fill about Annabelle and I almost put "forget the clean diaper, she must always be wearing a bow" on the line for special instructions, but I don't want to be seen as the difficult mom right off the bat. 

The director gave me a box of craft supplies and told me to make a name tag. There weren't any stencils in the box so CUE THE OCD PANIC. I stopped short of digging through a closet to find a cup to trace so I'd have the perfect circle. 

The guest speaker was a woman who survived breast cancer and now owns a wig and bra store. She talked about bras for 58 minute. I had no idea there was so much to say on the topic. My usual criteria is that I like the color.

* We got Annabelle a jumperoo. You know who refuses to pay $129 on a toy that has more buttons than my car? Me. You know who doesn't care that she has the low-end jumperoo? This girl.
Her favorite toy is the tithing envelope at church so I expect she'll be happy as a clam when I stick her in a cardboard box and call it a playpen.

* The maintenance man is here for the fourth time in three weeks to fix our heating and cooling problems. He asked if I know where the handles for the air port vents are located. Excuse me? The what? I know nothing about our heating and cooling systems except THEY DON'T WORK. 

I just remembered the time different maintenance men came earlier in the year. I was pregnant and in the very pits of despair and morning sickness. I was stumbling around with mismatched pajamas, a messy bun, and most certainly no makeup. I looked like death. I know what you're thinking- "Christopher is a lucky guy to have married such an attractive woman!" I sat at the table, crying and trying to keep down a muffin when who should appear at our door but two maintenance men. They weren't scheduled to come until Thursday and it was only Tuesday.  They kept ringing and I kept sitting there refusing to answer the door in such a state. We have a window near the door and I knew it was only a matter of time before they looked through and saw me. I slid off the chair and crawled over to the kitchen away from view. I was so proud of myself for such stealthy moves. I was sure the next person to knock on the door would be a Special Forces recruiter. A few minutes went by without noise from the guys so I decided to see if they were still there. Here's where I encountered a flaw in my perfect plan. The only way to see the door from the kitchen was for me to crawl around the corner into view. I looked once and they saw me. The guy was looking in the window. I sat on the floor while they continued to knock because I would not let them win. Fifteen minutes later they left. I spent the rest of the day drafting a speech in my head about how they shouldn't show up unannounced on the wrong day at the home of someone with a VERY DELICATE stomach and emotional state. 

That afternoon I took a three hour nap because sitting on the kitchen floor is exhausting.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

little butterfly

No one should be surprised I had a butterfly dress hanging in the closet waiting for the day we'd go to a butterfly festival.
I've always been one for attending events in themed clothing.
*bonus picture*
Three seconds later she fell on her nose.
Balance isn't one of her strong points.