Wednesday, May 28, 2014

two month Annabelle

Taken at 1:40, exactly when I turned two months.
Mom took the picture on the left when she was at a red light. I can't believe she does such things then complains about dangerous drivers.
Vital statistics: Mama said she wasn't interested in taking me to the doctor for my two month checkup on her birthday so I won't have any exact numbers until next week. I think I weigh about 9.5-10lbs now. My cheeks are responsible for at least 1/3 of my weight. (Edit- I weigh 9.14 and am 221/2'' long.)

What's up with my wardrobe: I outgrew newborn diapers last weekend. Mom said she only didn't cry because she was tired of cleaning up messes from under performing diapers. Newborn clothes are still a large part of my attire, but I've been branching into 0-3 month outfits a little more. 

I enjoy/am mildly amused by: lights and fans, listening to the song Happy, being talked to, taking walks outside when Daddy gets home from work.

Milestones of my young life this month: 
* I rolled from my belly to my back the day I turned six weeks. Mom almost cried. What's wrong with her? Why does she cry at everything I do?
* I flew from Tennessee to Massachusetts and back again and only cried a grand total of 30 minutes. Mom was so proud of me. (Editorial note: I was also proud that I left with the baby and Mr. Lion and returned with both of them. No one was lost in the taking of the trip.) 
* I had my first play date. I didn't look at the other two children there which I'm told was a little rude.
* I am so close to laughing. I almost laughed yesterday when Daddy was tickling me. 
* I worked on my style.
* I met my Grampy.
 * I sat in a rucksack.
* I impressed people with my charm and good looks.
I'd blog more but I have diapers to fill and a pile of new headbands to try on.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

And to think we get to turn around and do the whole thing again! Oh boy!

Well, I took an unintended blogging break. I just haven't had much to discuss lately besides how we're suddenly missing 75% of our facecloths and that's hardly riveting. However, on Tuesday Annabelle and I flew to the land of my birth for a visit so naturally I have to discuss the 12 hours we spent traveling because, as they say in Fiddler on the Roof, TRADITIOOOOOOOOON.

I know some people are perfectly comfortable gallivanting 'round the country with their offspring in tow, but I am not. I polled people on how to successfully travel with an infant and read almost more articles on the topic than I read on pregnancy. I was so nervous that if it could go wrong it would. I had so many visions of the baby throwing up all over herself, me and our seatmate (or getting stranded in the Philadelphia airport, or her screaming for 4 hours straight) that I almost throw in the towel and canceled the whole trip. I hope Annabelle gets the if things get tough, just give up trait from me. It's a really great character quality. As these things go, I thought I had considered everything that could go wrong when at the last minute Christopher couldn't bring us to the airport so I had to drive. CUE THE PANIC. That's the Army for you. Their motto is "Changing Plans, Causing Panic Since 1784". Now not only did I have to worry about packing enough diapers, getting us through security, and pushing the stroller and pulling the luggage, I had to worry about finding the parking lot, locating the correct shuttle and let's just never leave the house. Long story short (you're welcome), we found the parking lot and made it through security without tears. Annabelle didn't cry either. 

I normally try to limit Sesame's pacifier to sleeping times and the witching hour so she thought she was living the life as I let her have it all day. She got through the entire first flight without making a peep thanks to Mr. Lion. It's a pity she wasn't more comfortable strolling through the airport.
I couldn't do all the work on the trip. I made her carry my water bottle.
The one bonus of flying with a baby is that for the first time ever I got to board with the high and mighties who sit in first class. Silver linings, folks. All that extra time gave us an opportunity to take a picture before we were joined by our fellow coach (aka the commoners in the back) passengers. 
Yet another subpar cellphone photo to add to my collection.
The second half of our day was a little more turbulent. Our connecting flight was delayed by almost an hour and Annabelle was ready to call it a day. The flight to Boston was chock full of successful business people with briefcases and big paychecks. Then there was me, bouncing a crying baby wearing a flower headband and singing If You're Happy and You Know It. I fit right in. When we finally boarded the plane, I settled back for a nap then realized that she had pooped up her back. I took care of that only to have her start crying because she was hungry. I started to nurse her but the blanket had a mind of its own and I'm pretty sure the two men across the aisle got a little show. I never made eye contact with them again. 

We survived the trip with Annabelle receiving 412 compliments and me gaining two new gray hairs. When I was doing my hair I noticed two new BRIGHT WHITE AND VERY REAL hairs. If such joking makes things become a reality than I will never again joke about gray hair.

Dad had never met Annabelle and didn't know we were coming. I rang the doorbell and held her up so he could see her through the window when he came to the door. It was a priceless moment. Almost worth my multiple new white hairs.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

she has a lot to say for someone so small

"I've had it up to HERE with these hiccups."
"Hear me out. Unless we get a handle on these issues there are going to be some serious socioeconomic repercussions."
My mother told yet another bad joke. I am not amused.
"So then I said, 'Prince George, you know you love girls in purple bows!'"
Just doing a little modeling.
Taking a break while doing some light reading.
"I'm cute and I know it!"
Official campaign photo of Sesame for President, 2036.
All donors will receive a lion pacifier of their own. 

Monday, May 12, 2014

a matchy-matchy Mother's Day

Yesterday was the day people wrote touching stories about how they looked at their child and fell in love with him/her the instant it was born.

I did not feel that way.

When the doctor held her up, I didn't think "I'm so glad Sesame is a girl" or "I love her so much". I looked at her and thought "She looks just like Tom Carl." Tom Carl is a boy I've known since I was born and hadn't thought about for months, yet suddenly he popped into my head in the operating room. I didn't remember having dated Tom and certainly didn't remember marrying him but my child looked like him. My medicated self was so confused. 

We did the baby dedication at church yesterday morning. The fact that I WILLINGLY SIGNED UP for an event that required me to stand in front of people proves that I have officially lost my mind. I was worried that I'd fall down the stairs or the baby would pull down the top of my dress but neither happened, hallelujah praise the Lord. Some people (looking at you, Alaska Sarah) pointed out that I didn't smile while I was up there but there's no way that was going to happen. We can only expect so many miracles on a Sunday morning. I hoped no one would be looking at me when they could be looking at a cute baby in her signature blue bow.

Annabelle and I wore matching dresses. I'm going to take advantage of matching with her while I can. 
She really liked that we were matchy-matchy. Look at the enthusiasm! 
That afternoon we went to the pottery painting studio because I wanted a tile with Sesame's hand print on it. Not only am I sentimental, I am slightly crazy to think she'd be on board with the idea. She cried the entire time but we got it. One day, probably next month, I'll look at it and cry about how little her hand was. Speaking of crying, the girl rolled from her belly to her side on Friday. Talk about traumatic. Rolling today, college tomorrow. 
IF I even let her go to college, which is doubtful.
I love her squishy face.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

You win some, you lose some. Today I lost almost all.

I don't mean to sound overly dramatic, but if it could have gone wrong in the hours between 9:21-1:16 today than it it.

To set the stage I'd like to note that in the last 72 hours I have tried using a Target gift card at Babies R Us, felt my pants falling down as I left a meeting a church and lost a brand new earring down the vent in the floor. It's been a great week!

I had yet another appointment in Nashville this morning so my sidekick aka Sesame aka the one to whom I gave birth aka Annabelle and I packed ourselves and our many bags into the car and left at 8:35. I like to give myself plenty of time to get to Nashville in the morning because I have been stuck in Nashville traffic 12 too many times. I was cruising down the road feeling so smart because I was listening to NPR instead of my usual playlist when we hit traffic at 9:21. I was not fazed since I had left home in plenty of time, but when 9:50 rolled around I was still in traffic.

Here's where the going gets rough.

I called the office to say I would be late for my 10 o'clock appointment. I hate being late but when I finally arrived in the waiting room (after driving past the parking garage and banging myself in the leg with the stroller), it was 10:20. The self check in machine wouldn't accept my check-in. Martha the secretary said I had canceled the appointment on May 5th. I had not. I showed her the conformation texts saying I had confirmed on May 2nd. She repeated I canceled it on the 5th. I repeated that I had not. Annabelle started to cry so I moved the stroller and knocked over a trash can. Martha called Antonio over to fix the situation and he too said I received a call and since I didn't answer, they took that to mean I did not want the appointment. I said I received no such call. Furthermore, would I have woken my child up from her morning nap, been in the car for almost two hours and worked my way up to the eight floor because I consider that to be the definition of a good time if I had canceled the appointment? I THINK NOT. I didn't say that part but I was thinking it. Antonio must have realized he was dealing with woman who could cry at any moment because he gave me a new appointment at 10:30. By this time the baby was crying since she likes to be punctual with mealtimes and I was not providing what she wanted. I don't like nursing in public so I asked if I could nurse her in a more private location. This caused a bit of commotion as they're don't normally get a request like this in an office whose main clientele is the 65+ age group. The appointment with the doctor went south quickly. 

And that was just the morning.

We went to the park to eat lunch and while there I trip over a bump in the sidewalk and smashed into the stroller. I found us a nice spot to eat and was just getting settled when the sprinkler six feet away suddenly turned on. I found a new spot under a pretty green tree and was starting to eat when I heard a creaking above our heads. It sounded like a dead branch could crash down at any moment but I was too tired to move. We went for a short walk after lunch and things were beginning to look up when two school buses of middle schoolers flooded the sidewalk in front of us. I tried to escape them by taking a detour into a garden to the left but the stroller was too big so I ended up back in the middle of all the kids. They were making such a racket and all the teachers were yelling so loud I thought to myself, "I'm so glad I'm not a teacher." And yet I studied Early Childhood Education. I tried going to the mall after leaving the park but changed my mind on the way there. I had to turn around then turn around again then turn around again because WHY NOT. 

The moral of this story? Never leave your house. 
We like big bows and we cannot lie.

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

just another weekend involving some screaming and very little sleeping

Well, this weekend was just riveting.

If you call a misidentifying cows as horses to your impressionable child and two boycotted nap times riveting.

Apparently there was enough of a nap time for me to take 12 pictures of the baby in various almost-identical potions. This happens to me all the time. I'll take one picture because she looks sweet then OMG SHE MOVED HER LITTLE FINGER ISN'T THAT PRECIOUS so I take another forty-four. There is something wrong with me.   
Our friend was scheduled to return home from his deployment on Saturday so I picked the most appropriate outfit I could find for Annabelle. As these things go, the homecoming was rescheduled to midnight which I deemed too late to go out with the baby. Cue much sorrow and sadness on my part and no emotion on her part. We make our fashion choices but the Army decides if they shall indeed be worn.
Here's Little Miss America all dressed up with nowhere to go.
I know it's a blurry picture, but this was her face when I told her I hope she doesn't have a career that involves wearing a bikini and heels while walking across a stage. I'm in favor of a career with more clothes, like a professional skier or scuba diver. 
 You get this picture for free.
 No charge for this one either! 
 Her mouth is in a different position so I had to take another picture. OBVIOUSLY.
Saturday night we went out for our anniversary. Unlike our first post-baby date we did not go to Lowes for firework and an ax although the romance in that place is oozing. We got dressed up and went to a fancee restaurant in the next town over. The Kentucky Derby was on and I spent a (probably annoying) lengthy amount of time discussing how I wanted to go to the derby, what I would wear and what I would name my horse. Then the race happened and just like that it was over. Am I the only American who didn't know the race is only one lap? Seems like a lot of work for an event you might miss if you get up for a refill of nachos and cheese.

Sunday afternoon I left the baby to watch Christopher Christopher to watch the baby while I went out on my own for a while. I went to the bookstore than found myself in front of a rack of cute capris at a clothing store. I'm currently smaller than maternity pants (one would hope) but slightly larger than my normal pants size which leaves me with very few options. The good from deciding to eat an apple and peanut butter with lunch (healthy!) was probably destroyed when I decided to mix cool whip in with peanut butter so I don't know when I'll get back to my normal pants size. Cool whip is too good. There was a point to that story but now I've lost it.

(Skipping the part of the weekend where we became THOSE parents in Walmart with the screaming baby.)

Yesterday Christopher asked if I wanted to played tennis with him. I'm terrible at games involving flying balls so naturally tennis is right up my ally. I looked like a drunk donkey the entire time. It was a beautiful look for me. I'm sure Annabelle would have taken 44 pictures if she could have. Or she would have been so embarrassed she'd have fled the scene. 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

{insert creative title here}

1. The following have done nothing but irritate my OCD tendencies. 

* I cannot for the life of me attach this shade to the car window so that lines up perfectly with the top and bottom of said window. I've tried it 14 different ways and failed 14 different times. I'd have a conniption if I had to sit next to that window. 
* Mom and Elizabeth visited last week and someone loaded the dishwasher like this. I can't even.
It meant using 34 precious seconds during nap time but I had to rearrange it. I stopped short of categorizing the silverware.

2. I enjoy the royals as much as the next person (as long as the next person isn't Christopher). Everyone knows Kate and I are BFF's which was once again proven by the fact that we both dressed our children in stripes on the same day.
(There's a new show called I Wanna Marry Harry coming to a television near you. I have so many things to say about it but I can't find the right words. Are American women the only ones gullible enough to believe Prince Harry would be on a reality dating show?)

3. Last week I went to the doctors for blood work. I stopped at the restroom as we were leaving because if there's ever a time I'm guaranteed to need the bathroom it's when I'm stuck in traffic and things get desperate. I wanted to be proactive and nip that issue in the bud. I hung the diaper bag on the door hook and put my very full, very thick plastic water bottle on top of the toilet paper holder to my left. For some reason the toilet paper holder was about three feet higher than normal but I didn't think anything of it. I was going about my business when all the sudden something attacked my left shoulder. I was so startled that I fell against the opposite wall which caused the diaper bag to swing and hit me in the head. I was sure someone was kidnapping me and poor Sesame would grow up never knowing her mother. I don't even have a will and how would Christopher know who to give my collection of unopened lip gloss to if I died there on the 8th floor? I didn't see anyone else in the stall when I entered but in Spider Man he attaches himself to the ceiling above his unsuspecting targets so SURELY that could happen in real life. Then I looked down and saw my water bottle rolling away. I had been attacked by my water bottle. The only scrap of dignity I left the bathroom with was the knowledge I hadn't screamed at the water bottle.

4. I've been trying to decide what I'll do when the doctor tells me I can start exercising. I briefly considered running again but then decided that was a ludicrous idea.  
Amen and amen.