Tuesday, December 29, 2015

there's a reason people don't like Mondays

On Saturday Annabelle woke up with cough and a runny nose. She had a coughing fit every 45 minutes that night. She was so tired she couldn't even get the pacifier in her mouth without help.

On Sunday she had a fever and I felt like I was simultaneously coming down with ear infections and strep throat. My voice sounded like a cross between a frog and a boy whose voice is changing. No need to point out how attractive that is.

On Monday Sesame's fever kept going up and she sounded like a seal when she coughed. I almost didn't want to call the doctor only to be told she had a cold (I always think I'll be called the hypochondriac mom), but I'm so glad I brought her in. She has an ear infection in one ear, swelling in the other and RSV. Yesterday was HARD. She was so miserable all day. She'd take a break from coughing to cry and pull at her ears. We watched more tv than she's watched in the last three months. She didn't want to do anything but moan and cry. My head felt like it was about to explode.


To top it all off, our landlord and his father spent the entire day at our house making a hole in the kitchen ceiling. 
On Saturday Christopher's father noticed the ceiling above the kitchen table was leaking. We (meaning him, I did nothing) turned off the water to the bathroom above the kitchen. Jim Jr. and Jim Sr. arrived on Monday morning and declared that they would need to take the ceiling down to find the source of the leak. What fun! The Jim's are such nice people and they know much more about home maintenance than I do, but it didn't inspire a lot of confidence when they said they only know how to take ceilings down, not how to put up a new one. Or when they lost the saw they were using to make the holes. They lost it for a good five hours and finally figured out they had vacuumed it up. We came back from the doctor to find the hole bigger than ever, the upstairs toilet hanging out in the hallway, and half the kitchen furniture in the living room. It wasn't the most peaceful day.

I got the following text from Jim Jr today. "The guy that's doing the drywall said I need to remove more. We'll be by tomorrow.'' The fun never ends! I have a feeling I won't have any ceiling left by tomorrow night. 

Send chocolate. Or martinis. Or both. 

Monday, December 28, 2015

Happy Christmas!

In keeping with my personal holiday tradition, I'm posting about Christmas while everyone else is gearing up to celebrate New Year's and choosing their word of the year. (I don't choose a word of the year but if I did it would be sleep.)

Much to my relief, both trees made it through the holidays without crashing to the ground. 
We forgot to trim the top of the deer tree. Too late now.
On Christmas Eve we put on our finest clothes and went to church. Annabelle couldn't believe we were going to "sing Happy Christmas songs about Jesus" in the middle of the week. 
I know I keep saying it over and over, but she's getting so big. I almost cried when I looked at these pictures because she's grown so much since last Christmas. It's a real shame she has no personality.
During the solemn playing of Silent Night, an alarm went off on my phone reminding us to put the trash out by the street. I wish I learned that the phone being on vibrate doesn't apply to alarms anywhere but in the middle of a church service. I was thinking, "How rude of someone to not put their phone on vibrate" when I saw my purse glowing. 
Annabelle wrapped and labeled Christopher's gift. She's practicing her illegible autograph for when she's famous. All three times we've been to the garden center she's pointed at a little stone owl and said, "Daddy! Daddy! For Daddy!" He's now the proud owner of a garden decoration for the garden he doesn't have.
Oma and Opa came up from Texas to spend the weekend with us. They win the award for most popular gifts of the year. Not only did they give Sesame a cash register, they gave her a shopping cart and groceries. It was all my childhood dreams come true. I hope my other childhood dream comes true next Christmas and I she gets a puppy.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Currently- The Christmas Edition

Listening to: Josh Groban's Christmas album. Have I mentioned I love Josh Groban? I DO.

Cooking and baking: Chicken soup, oreo balls, fudge and peanut butter pie. Long live dessert.

No longer loving: my Christmas tree. It's probably unChristmas to say that but it's true. I swear the trees in the living room are getting bigger and taking up more room every day. The branches are flimsy and the ornaments are constantly sliding off. They're shedding like a dog. Saddest of all, neither tree smells like a pine tree. I have to burn my pine tree candle to make the house smell like a Christmas tree.

Watching: Cheesy Hallmark movies.


Loving: My tiny poinsettia plant 

Sewing: Christmas pajamas for AB. Hello, last minute. Nice to see you again.



Playing on repeat: This Adele parody. French fries forever.

At my wits end about: Annabelle's nightly sleeping habits. She went from being asleep by 8 at the latest to still being awake at 10:30-11 every night. I can't even talk about it or I might cry. Send large amounts of ice coffee.


Decorating: A gingerbread nativity. I can't tell you how holy I felt decorating a nativity instead of a gingerbread house. 


Sleeping: Not enough.

Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Is it the weekend yet?

This morning I went downtown to pick up a gift card. I had never been in that part of the city before and I turned around no less than four times in an attempt to park on the street in front of the correct building. When I finally got a spot I was proud of myself for a stellar parallel parking job. (They make such a big deal of parallel parking in drivers ed you'd think it's a daily activity.) Then I noticed I was in a handicap spot. A good citizen would have moved. Apparently my good citizen days are behind me. I backed up just enough to give myself wiggle room (literally and figuratively) in case I was ticketed for my infraction and needed to defend myself. 

This afternoon I finally decorated the dining room for Christmas. I should have done it four weeks ago but I've been too busy pining table decor ideas. I almost had a panic attack/OCD meltdown when I was wrapping lights around greenery and the green of the light wires didn't match the greenery. I stopped short of spray painting the wires to make them match. 

Tonight I knocked over a cheese display at the grocery store.

One of my favorite things about this town is the gas station chain where I can vacuum my car for free. The vacuums at the gas station I normally go to were closed so I went to the one up the road. I tried driving around the building thinking the vacuums were in the back but they weren't. I pulled into a parking spot to back up and leave but I couldn't because I would have been headed straight into three one-way lanes all going the opposite of the direction I needed to go. I didn't know what to do so I sat in the car and ate the entire box of crackers I had just bought at the grocery store. Had I been there much longer I would have cracked open the lunch meat and cheese I got. After twenty minutes I decided to make a break for it. I waited until no cars were coming then backed outta there like the speed demon/rule breaker that I never am. 

Next door to the aforementioned downtown store is a pasta and cupcake store. We went in for a quick look around and Annabelle was infatuated with the cupcakes in the display. She couldn't get over them. She especially like the chocolate one with mint green frosting. Unlike some people in this house, I don't buy her everything she likes and wants. She's only just starting to understand that items at the store can be bought and I make a big deal out of only looking and not bringing everything home.

However. 

When she folded her hands under her chin, swayed back and forth in her little gold and white skirt and said, "You gonna buy a cupcake, Mama?" I caved. 
Her cute face deserves all the cupcakes.

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Parade of Christmas Clothes

The week Annabelle was born, a girl from church came over to visit. She followed me into the bedroom to change the baby's diaper and asked me what my favorite part was of having a girl. I didn't answer that it was the chance to bring up Prince George's future wife or, a church answer at its best, 
the opportunity to raise a girl for the Lord. I said it was dressing her up. 

That was my answer and I've stuck to it.

And so I present my second annual Parade of Christmas Clothes.

She's smiling because I said either a) we were going to the pet store b) we were going to story time or c) I'd give her a snack if she stood still and smiled. I'm going with C.
She wore her darling smocked stocking dress to see Santa.
It's the same exact dress and bow she wore on her first Christmas. She was so tiny, toothless and bald! I still can't get over how cute she was.
Christmas jammies for the win! I want them in my size.
I told her the ornaments on her romper are called baubles. Besides it being adorable to hear her say, it sounds more British. I hear Prince George calls them baubles and you know what they say- as do the royals, so do S and AB.
Of course it's smocked. Would you expect anything less?

Sunday, December 13, 2015

she's not much of a Santa baby

I started the week off feeling festive and in the best Christmas mood. I played Christmas carols all morning and made AB a felt tree to decorate. I wrapped gifts and watched a Hallmark movie.

Then Thursday rolled around. I spent all day trying to get my nativity characters to stand up instead of falling onto each other and Jesus. I was so fed up with my tree being crooked that I tried to fix it and the whole thing went crashing down. It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie. I saw it falling and my arm went out to stop it three seconds too late.
"Oh dear. Oh dear. What a mess, mama. Oh dear."
What's that they say about Christmas being all calm, merry and bright?

Saturday we went to a Christmas cottage to see Santa. Annabelle wasn't feeling her best but the celebration must go on. We waited in line for about twenty minutes while I talked up the cottage and how fun it would be. We could almost taste Annabelle's excitement.
The cottage was beautiful. It was about the size of a postage stamp and decorated from top to bottom with snowmen, reindeer, a mantle and stockings, a tree and a train chugging around a track attached to the top of the wall. Unfortunately I didn't get to take it in as much as I wished because AB, who kept telling us she was going to see "San-ta Caus", got petrified the second we walked in the cottage and wouldn't let go of me. 
I find this picture much more entertaining that I should. Poor Belle Belle is saying, "I DOE YIKE IT! I DOE YIKE IT!" Santa is looking at us like he doesn't get paid enough for this (it was a free event so he didn't get money from me) and I'm all "This is so fun, AB! Look at his beard! Look at his pretty suit! Smile for the picture!"
(Speaking of his beard, in an attempt to get her to stop crying I almost pulled Santa's beard. I was this close to reaching out and pulling at it. I don't know what came over me. Noticing that he had glittery eyeliner on to make his eyes sparkle startled me into good behavior.)

It may not have been as picture perfect an event as last year but it was memorable. 

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

there's no room for us in our tree filled house

Last weekend we set up our Christmas trees.

Sesame and I scoped out the trees at the garden store Friday morning then we all went back to pick one out in the evening. We set up our plaid and deer themed tree first. As we were putting it together I kept thinking how beautiful Christmas lights are and wondering why we don't have them up all year long.
Twelve minutes later I was fighting with a clump of half broken lights on our fake tree and declaring that I can't stand Christmas lights. How quickly my tune changed. It would be stating the obvious to point out that we had a major tree malfunction.
We couldn't find the fake tree stand and the tree itself was falling apart so we threw it out and got a second real tree for the rest of our ornaments. I love Christmas trees and I love our tradition of having multiple trees, but this year it hasn't turned out so well. In our last house we had an upstairs and a downstairs living room so we put a tree in each and it worked out perfectly. We only have one living room in this house so we have a trees in opposite corners of the room. We have two trees, two couches, two bookcases, a tv stand and various toys all in the living room. And the living room is far from large. In other words, there's almost no room for us in our own house. It's like walking into a furniture filled forest. I'm seriously considering moving a tree to another room because there's nothing relaxing about all these huge trees. Is it weird to have a large tree in a bathroom? I'm asking for a friend.

Opa sent us a bunch of Christmas cookies and AB took the basket they came in and made it a bed for Baby Belle. She keeps holding the bed up to the tree so her baby can see. 
Try not to slip on the puddle my heart made on the floor.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

a little bitty tree for a little bitty girl

Last night we set up the first of our Christmas trees. It has exactly twice the number of decorations as last year. 
We put it up in Sesame's room. I was all this is so! fun! Best! day! ever! and she fluctuated between excitement and uncertainty. She loves Christmas trees but like most children in a first world country, she's not used to having trees in her room.
We had planned to pick out our tree tonight but it's raining so we rescheduled. Every year we have a theme for our fake tree and this year is plaid and deer. I found the deer ornaments at Lowe's today and let me tell you, I have never been so excited in a home improvement store. They're perfect.
Our larger than life Jesus has made his yearly appearance. Obviously I remember from previous Christmases that's he's huge but every year it cracks me up and I have to take a picture. I have at least three identical pictures. It's become a Christmas tradition.
Jesus: "I have arrived."
Mary: "No wonder my back was killing me."
Joseph: "I don't know how to handle kids. I'll just stand in the background with the light."

Sunday, November 29, 2015

from here on out it will be Christmas all day, every day

Despite my best efforts, I've turned into a once a week blogger. I blame my poorly paying, time-sucking little boss.
Ya talkin 'bout me?
Throughout the month we wrote things we're thankful for on little paper leaves. I hung them on branches I collected in the backyard and made a Thankful Tree. When we asked Sesame what she likes that God gave her, she said "Pasta. Tennessee and Texas. Pasta and sauce. Pasta." Such a good little Italian. 
For the third year in a row we hosted Thanksgiving at our house. Elizabeth came up to visit two weeks prior to Thanksgiving and Dad, Mom and Aaron came up the day before. We cleaned bathrooms, planned menus and sorted out cooking times. I scheduled us to eat at 3 but around 2:15 I noticed someone had turned the oven off. It was barely even warm inside. Cue the despair. I almost ordered pizza. SEVEN HOURS after I put it in the oven the turkey was finally finished. 
I took advantage of the 500 hours it took the turkey to cook for a mini photo shot. I bought this 12 months dress in the summer and crossed all my fingers and toes it would fit. I was prepared to squish her in like a sausage but it fit perfectly.
*
Elizabeth always says she only comes to visit so she'll make an appearance on the blog. Here I was thinking it was because she loves and adores me so. She recently got her permit and begged me to let her drive my car. She mostly did a good job, but I did grab onto the door handle a time or twelve. I got SO irritated when Mom would do that when I was learning to drive yet there I was doing the same thing. She did well except for the time when I had to say, "Let's have a little less dancing and a little more driving." She said she was trying to imitate my driving. I can't be held responsible for what I do when All About that Bass comes on the radio.

We visited a Christmas decor store this afternoon. When we got home I went through some of my Christmas boxes and pulled out some of the 19 snowmen statues we were given last year. I found a gingerbread recipe and my gingerbread cookie cutter. I think I'll light my fir tree candle. It's beginning to look like the most wonderful time of the year. 

Saturday, November 21, 2015

stayed tuned for my review of the new Star Wars movie

Last night, in a GREAT ACT of love and dedication to my marriage, I went with Christopher to see the new James Bond movie. This is the third year in a row we've gone to see a JB movie in the theater so I've learned how to make the movie viewing experience pleasant for both of us. Namely, I read the plot on wikipedia beforehand and set my expectations for enjoying/understanding the movie VERY LOW. I saw the two hours twenty-eight minutes in a dark theater as the perfect opportunity to catch up on some sleep.

I have previously gone into great detail about my feelings (ie. confusion, annoyance, major eye rolling etc etc etc) about this series so I won't hash them out again, so it came as a huge surprise that this movie slightly surpassed my (again, very low) expectations. I won't be requesting to watch it again for another thirteen years, but I didn't get so bored I started counting popcorn kernels. That's just the rave review the director was hoping to get!

Naturally I have some things to say about the film:

+ It was as unrealistic as ever. James flew an airplane with both wings broken through the woods, crashed through a building, landed in a snowbank and walked out as if nothing had even happened. He didn't have a button loose or so much as a single hair out of place. Two days ago I walked the 25 feet between my car and the front door and it was so windy I literally couldn't see, I had so much hair in my face. My shirt blew up and my stomach was hanging out. And yet there are no wardrobe malfunctions when your plane is on fire?
+ Speaking of his wardrobe, JB has an exceptional tailor. His shirts never wrinkle. His clothes fit impeccably and somehow they never rip. You'd think wearing such tight pants would be an issue when running across a roof and jumping over a chimney but apparently not. I'm sure I'd have rips everywhere. Maybe he wears the suit version of jeggings? Suitings?
+ He's slept with approximately 47 women. How is he not a father yet? How is he still healthy?
+ Jimmy B is obviously getting old but he can still run like nobody's business. The last time I ran was when the mail I was putting in the mailbox blew out of my hand and I had to chase it down the road. Running is overrated. Blogging >jogging.
+ Finally, Mr. Bond is not the most expressive of men. I made a chart to help you understand his emotions.
I hope that clears things up.

Friday, November 13, 2015

in which Annabelle becomes a book reviewer

My mom was sent a book in the mail and I took it upon myself to test it out. 

The front says it's called Daddy Flies but I call it Daddy Sooooaaaas (Soars). Yesterday we read it three times in a row. The dad goes to work just like my dad does! What a coincidence.  
My favorite picture is the one of the little boy playing with the toilet paper. I can relate on a very deep level.
I spend a lot of time looking at the picture of the author's family on the back of the book. It boggles my mind that the book is about a little girl AND THERE'S A LITTLE GIRL ON THE BACK. Was that planned? 
I read somewhere in the range of 57 books a day so I know what I'm talking about when I say this is a good book. The pictures are, in the words of the one who birthed me, delightful. My only complaint is the little boy doesn't have a name. I gave him one that sounds something like Ruuufinins. I think it's perfect. 

Gotta go unroll some toilet paper. 

Monday, November 9, 2015

I will not be naming any fish after Bill Clinton

I'm pleased to say Christopher's birthday party went off without a hitch. Sure, we started eating 14 minutes late but compared to other years it was nearly flawless. I tried two new recipes which both turned out well and Annabelle behaved perfectly. Last year on his birthday I dressed Sesame up in a party hat and dress and stuck her in the swing while I made fried shrimp. Naturally Christopher got delayed at work and by the time he got home AB was falling apart and the shrimp was soggy. We make our party plans but the Army dictates if they actually happen. Two years ago I was pregnant and trying not to throw up. All in all this year was much more enjoyable. I ended up ordering him his favorite German sausage as a gift. Giving meat really felt like a low point in my gift-giving career, but I had literally zero other options.

I honestly can't remember what we did on Saturday. I remember that Christopher won the sleep-in lottery so I got up with Annabelle but that's nothing new. I do remember we had the following conversation when discussing the royals:

C: Is she (Kate) still pregnant?
Me: She had the baby in May. YOU DON'T REMEBER?!?!?!
C: No. What was it?
Me: A girl! We wore our tiaras and celebrated!
I guess our celebration wasn't memorable enough. We'll have to kick it up a notch for the next royal baby. Tea and crumpets for everyone.

Sunday was a memorable day. We added a new member to the family. Meet Millard T. Fillmore, esteemed Admiral in the Fish Fleet.
I've wanted a fish for a while and now that we don't have plans to move for the next few years it seemed like a good time. It was not my intention to name him after a president. I picked out the name Fillmore but couldn't decide on a first name. I considered Frederick, Richard and Norman but none were right. The merry go round to pick his perfect first name was similar to the merry go round we went on while picking Annabelle's name. Her name was decided last minute as I was being rolled off to the operating room. (I most graciously allowed Christopher his chosen name which has given me naming rights to any and all future children.) Admiral Fillmore's name was finalized in the pet store parking lot. If Millard Fillmore was a good enough name for a president, it's a good enough name for a fish.  

I have a long history of giving my pets lengthy names. When I was young I had a rabbit named Lance Corporal Brigadier General Bomber, or LCBG Bomber for short. I made up an elaborate story about how he was a decorated war hero from the Bunny Corps. When he died, my siblings 
grudgingly willingly attended his military funeral complete with American flags. It was very dramatic. 

Because I love a good comparison, here are Fillmore the man and Fillmore the (grumpy) fish. They do bear a slight resemblance in the hair/fin areas. 

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Wednesday thoughts

+ Last night I was so worked up about something I saw on facebook that I couldn't sleep for ages. When I finally fell asleep I dreamt I was wearing hearing aids that looked like contact lenses. I popped them in and one could tell I was wearing them. I'd recording this now in the event contact hearing aids become a thing in the future. You heard about them here first. Twelve years ago I invented Skype but didn't patent it. Lets just say I'd be a lot richer if I had.

+ I made myself wait until November to buy AB any Christmas pajamas. It's no exaggeration that I believe she needs one pair for each night in December. I LOVE Christmas clothes. The more wintery and Christmasy the better. When I went to Target last week to buy diapers I almost passed out from all the Christmas jammie options. I wanted to buy them all then go home and drink hot chocolate by the fire.

+ Speaking of Target, I think I'm the only white girl in America who doesn't love that store. On a scale of one to ten I'm very meh about it. I hear that people like shopping while drinking the PSL they bought from the in-store Starbucks but that doesn't work for me. I can't shop and drink at the same time. The drink is sure to spill on whatever is in the cart. When I go to clean it up I'm sure to knock over a rack of hats. What if there's no place to put the drink when I need two hands to look at something? There are too many ways for things to end up terribly.

+ I'd like to make a small adjustment to the calendar. Can the powers that be please switch Thanksgiving to the beginning of October? I understand that it's an important holiday, but it really gets in the way of my Christmas decorating. I can't make myself decorate with reindeer and candles until after Thanksgiving but that only gives me a month to enjoy it. I want all the time I can get to soak up the Christmas lights and decorate trees. I want to hang our stockings and decorate the mantle with little houses. I need time to carefully craft paper snowflakes. If the government can dictate what time we set our clocks surely they can do something about this Thanksgiving situation.

+ Tomorrow is Christopher's birthday. I am all about a birthday. I love a good theme and fancy straws that match the table décor. The more festive the better. Christopher is not into birthdays. He'd be perfectly fine with a nice dinner and nothing more. I brought up having a Minnie Mouse theme because I know AB would love it, but he said no self respecting 33 year old man wants a Minnie party. Having previously said he doesn't care if there's a theme I think he lost the privilege of vetoing my ideas. Yesterday Sesame and I went to the dollar store for balloons. It should come as no surprise that they are for the benefit of the ladies in the family. Tomorrow we'll decorate a banner. It will be a very classy banner made from construction paper with an assortment of animal and Sophia the First stickers. It will be perfect for a manly man. This is the first birthday Annabelle will be aware of and I want her to learn how fun they can be. I'll probably break out the fancy straw so she can get the full experience.

I have THE HARDEST time finding gifts for him. He's so difficult to shop for. It was hard enough finding birthday and Christmas gifts but now I need to add Father's Day gifts to the mix and it's a million times harder. He had mentioned that he wanted a Texas flag to hang in the basement with his confederate and early American flags. Annabelle volunteered pennies from her turtle bank for the purchase. Last week I noticed all the flags were off the wall and when I asked why, he said they "looked silly". I'm not returning the Texas flag so tomorrow night he'll be getting more silly in a gift bag. 

+ I introduced Christopher to Dubsmash. There's no more festive way to ring in his year age than lip syncing songs from the by gone days of his youth.

Monday, November 2, 2015

the little honeybee


Last Halloween I really hit it out of the park. I peaked on my first year.

This year I went back and forth about dressing her up since I don't even like Halloween, but I'm a sucker for a baby in a costume. She was going to be a basket of flowers but I lacked both motivation and time to pull it together. She's so into Winnie the Pooh right now and we already had the tutu from her birthday so I slapped on some tights intended for a seven year old and called her a honey bee. She was obviously very enthusiastic. 
I love the way she's holding her hands. She can be so proper at times. Other times she gets ketchup behind her ears.

We have a clump of trees behind our house that we call the Hundred Acre Wood (Pooh's home). Almost every day we go out into the woods and look for Tigger, Piglet and the others. I brought her Pooh Bear out and she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She really believed that Pooh somehow made it from the tv to her backyard.
Just a girl carrying her bear through the woods.
(Let us have a moment of jubilation over that fact that she has enough hair to clip a bow into.)


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

gather 'round to hear the latest of my medical issues

By about 7:00 Monday evening I kept thinking to myself, "This has been A Week."

Sunday afternoon I was feeling footloose and fancy free as I headed out to the mall for some mama time. My stomach started to hurt right as I pulled in but I pressed on. I was only there for 30 minutes but had to sit down three times, the pain was so bad. I would have laid down but I didn't want to cause a public spectacle. I considered finding a security guard who would drive me back to my car in a golf cart so I wouldn't have to walk. I limped my way to the car, made it home and dragged myself to bed where I curled up with a heating pad and diagnosed myself with appendicitis or some sort of cancer.  All my time on WebMD has proved to be very helpful. The pain wasn't as bad on Monday but I went to the emergency room just in case.

Due to confusing signs I had to park down the street from the hospital and walk what felt like 5 miles to get to the er. Once there I found myself in a room full of the city's finest hoodlums, including but not limited to a boy whose pants were hanging so low he would have been better off not wearing any at all. A nurse brought a patient's specimens out to the waiting room to give to the patient's mother and mixed in with the girl's stuff was another patient's vial of blood. What a fine establishment. The nurse finally called my name and told me to walk myself down to room 17. Never in my life have I been pointed in the direction of an er room and told to let myself in. THERE WAS ALREADY SOMEONE IN ROOM 17. The mother and I had the worlds most awkward staring contest while I tried to mutter something about how she should BLAME JEN THE NURSE for the position we were in. I finally got my own room and sat there for an hour and a half waiting for someone to remember me. I couldn't find the remote for the tv and I didn't feel like reading my book so I had nothing to do but curl up and bemoan the state of my stomach. I felt like I hadn't eaten in years so I asked a random medical student doing paperwork outside my door if I could eat something. The answer was no. #DrHopeCrusher. I started daydreaming about food. I wanted nothing more than a large pepperoni pizza. I read the word sushi and suddenly I was craving all the sushi in the country. I'm not even a big sushi person but it was all I could think about.
 
Finally a nurse came in the room and hooked me up to an iv. I hate getting blood work/iv's with a passion. My veins are too small and it's such an ordeal getting the needle in. I kept saying "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" while the nurse poked and yanked at my arm. Why was I apologizing? She was the one causing the hurt.  She should be on her knees begging forgiveness. She gave me some pain medicine, turned on the tv so I could watch hgTV and things started looking up. Christopher and Annabelle came by to visit and AB completely disregarded any instructions I gave her about not sitting on my stomach.
 
I had a ct scan and as these things go, we had to wait a while for the results. Finally a PA came in and said my appendix looked fine, but it might a hernia or I might be constipated or maybe I just have a stomach ache. I was so hungry/exhausted/frustrated I almost cried. I was so annoyed that I had spent a day and a half of my life in pain only to be told I needed to go home and use the bathroom. I wanted to throw the iv fluid bag at her. They didn't even give me pain medicine to take home. I walked back to the car is such a huff about the whole situation that I'm surprised my head didn't explode. Now that I think about it, had my head exploded maybe I would have gotten better service. I went to Walgreens for a prescription and of course the pharmacist was young and handsome and I was BEYOND mortified that we were discussing my bathroom habits.
 
Short story unnecessarily long, I went to my regular doctor yesterday and she's sending me for an ultrasound. Today I had to call her office to get the information about where to go for the ultrasound. I should have gotten the info yesterday but Sesame was so excited about the fish and frogs in the tank and the dancing Snoopy dressed like a pumpkin that I got distracted and walked right out of the office without getting the paperwork.
 
I may still have my appendix but I've lost my brain.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

I can only hope Kensington Palace let's me redecorate Princess Charlotte's bedroom

This morning I woke up with a splitting headache. My young boss was understanding and said I could take the day off. She sat quietly in the rocking chair all day, eating healthy snacks and reading educational books. I slept all day and it was glorious.
 
I WISH.
 
In reality I dragged myself out of bed, fed the boss breakfast and went to the lab to have blood work done. Try not to be jealous that I spent part of my morning being jabbed by a pediatric needle because the regular adult needles are too big for my minuscule veins. I let Annabelle bring in her Minnie Mouse stuffed animal which worked out much better than the original toy she wanted to bring- her musical, light up, ride on Minnie Mouse car. She (AB, not MM) behaved well until it was time to walk down to the bathroom for a urine sample. I gave her strict instructions to stand by the door and try not to touch anything. Of course she decided she didn't want to hold Minnie anymore and since there was nowhere to put the stuffed animal, I had to hold her under my chin while I went about my business. It was very graceful. By the time I was washing my hands AB said she wanted Minnie back. I must have misunderstood her because before I say anything, Minnie was going for a bath in the toilet. I guess I should be thankful Mr. Lion didn't get a bath.
*
Miss Toy Dunker tells me almost every day that she has a "new bedroom, Mama! It pink, Mama!" I wanted to paint it a very light pink but Christopher lost the paint chip on the way to the store and he bought a much brighter pink. I love it. It looks so pretty with the built-in white shelves.
I was going to redo her room in a bird/Mary Poppins theme but I put that off for a little longer. She's still so little I kind of like her still having the same elephant pictures she had in her first bedroom.
Naturally we have a special place to display her necklaces from Prince George.
She likes to call her closet a dollhouse for reason I don't understand. I hung up the green dress she wore home from the hospital on one of the decorative wall hooks. Every single time I see it I think about how a newborn dress was too big for little tiny baby Annabelle.
The only new thing I got for her room was the bow hanger. The director at story time asked if she has a bow to match every outfit. Pretty much and proud of it!
I painted this bench for her over the summer. I spent many weeks of my life carefully painting blades of grass with a toothpick.
I love how it turned out and hope it lasts forever. Thank goodness it's too big to dunk in a toilet.


Saturday, October 17, 2015

life around here certainly isn't boaring

Lately I've been into watching vlogs on Youtube. I found one done by a British girl and she's inspired me to spice up my vocabulary with a few British terms. The other day I told Annabelle we needed to "pop over to the shop round the corner". She hasn't picked up on any of my new phrases yet but I'm sure she'll give it a go soon. She likes to shake my hand and say "Pleased to meet you!" so I'm patting myself on the back for already raising such a proper child.

The shop round the corner in question was Home Depot. I favor Lowes over Home Depot because I like blue better than orange, but I don't know where Lowes is so I am forced to suffer through the sea of orange aprons. Last time I was there I noticed a sign attached to a pole that read total snowfall last year with an arrow pointing down. The pole was stuck in a bucket with cotton piled around the top to look like snow. As I walked I rolled my eyes because the "snow" barely came up to knee. So much for this being Snowfall Central. I walked by it again on this most recent visit and literally stopped in my tracks when I realized I had misread the sign. The arrow was not pointing to the fake snow. It was pointing to a line at that top of the pole that said 129.3''. That's ONE HUNDRED TWENTY NINE POINT THREE INCHES, people. It was a difference of more than nine feet.

Good thing I like snow.

I'm sure you all remember the tiny horse I saw in our neighbors yard when I was pregnant. Much to my sorrow, I later discovered that it was only a dog. Well. You WILL NOT BELIEVE what I saw in our neighbors yard on the way home from Home Depot. A BOAR. A black boar just hanging out eating grass while a little Chihuahua followed along behind. Lest you think we moved to the African desert- WE DIDN'T. We barely even live in the country. I don't even know what to think. Every time I've driven by since I've had my camera ready but the boar hasn't been out. I will risk taking my child for a walk on a busy road for photographic evidence. If they didn't live down the road a few houses you'd better believe I'd set up a boar watching station in my kitchen. AB can get her own cheerios and milk. Mama's busy watching the neighbors.