Saturday, June 28, 2014

three month Annabelle

Chilling with my elephant, Apple, at the exact minute I turned 3 months.
Vital statistics: I don't know how much I weigh right now, but Mom says probably about 11lbs. That's a complete guess, by the way. She's terrible with estimating. All I know is my cheeks and belly are getting bigger by the day.

What's up with my wardrobe: I'm pretty much swimming in 0-3 month clothes. Mom keeps putting shoes on me but they mostly fall off. Sometimes I wear my pajamas until 11:15am and sometimes I wear nothing at all.

I enjoy/am mildly amused at: Breakfast! Second breakfast! Lunch! Afternoon snack! Supper! After supper snack! I LOVE being talked and sang to all the time. Watching Mama put on her makeup. Playing Fly Baby with Daddy. Walks to the mailbox and the garden with Mom. Every day we check our plants and we were so excited when our sunflower finally bloomed!

It's obvious when I don't like something.
Milestones of my young life this month:
* I can laugh.
* I found my voice.
* I tolerate tummy time.
* I have a boyfriend in the nursery at church. Mom loves seeing him more than I do. I could not be less interested.  His name is Henley and we both have a thing for pacifiers so I guess it could work out between us. 
* I learned the fine art of taking a selfie.
* My hair is coming in nicely. Mom says soon I'll have a ponytail.
* I continue to be everyone's favorite baby.

Friday, June 27, 2014

just a couple of social butterflies over here

On Wednesday afternoon my friend Scherrie and I got together for our ladies lunch club. We'd like to have lunch together every couple of weeks, but the last time we did was before Christmas. We've welcomed a new member into the club since then. She got her own chair but did not get her own chips and salsa. 
We met at a Mexican restaurant and we were so early that the restaurant wasn't even open yet. You don't know how proud it made me to sit in the parking lot and wait for the person without a baby to arrive. My pride is important to remember when I get to my next story. We asked the waiter if he would mind turning on the outdoor fans so we could sit on the patio. Apparently the fans are difficult to operate because it took 7 men to figure out how to get them on. The whole time I was thinking of the joke that goes "How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?" I'd make a joke here about how many Mexicans it takes to turn on a fan but Christopher will read this and make some comment about how I can't go around saying things that might seem racist in the internet. #GodBlesstheMexicans 

Yesterday we drove to Nashville to meet Kacy. Due to a series of unfortunate events involving heavy traffic, a man selling newspapers IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE, the gps telling me the park was on the right when it was on the left, and parking two blocks away we were only able to visit for about 28.5 minutes. And just like that all my pride over being on time the day before melted away. But it was worth it!! Kacy looks so good for not only being pregnant, but also for having been forced to stand around in the heat for two hours waiting for us. A lady was there getting videos for the weather channel so Annabelle much more interested in her tv debut than in taking a selfie. My face is so round I look like I ate 12 doughnuts for breakfast. Moving on.
Annabelle and I got caught in a downpour on the way back to the car. Basically I participated in a wet tshirt contest that I did not sign up for. So much for your video of sunshine and blue skies, weather lady!

As if our social calendar this week wasn't exciting enough, Alaska Sarah from church came over to visit today. There are two Sarah's in Sunday school so to cut down on confusion we call her Alaska Sarah after her home state. (This idea works better in theory than in reality. I'm fairly certain Christopher and I are the only ones who refer to her as such and since I don't refer to myself as Sarah when talking about myself, naturally I'd be talking about her if I say "Sarah did such and such". This is the look Sesame gives me when I over explain.)  
Annabelle says Alaska Sarah is her BFF. Normally she doesn't like sharing the blog spotlight but she said she'd be willing to move aside for Sarah's blog debut.

Monday, June 23, 2014


Overcome and saddened by the fact that I found a dead ant inside my closed container of Cool Whip. How did the ant manage to walk fast enough that it made it into the refrigerator before the door was shut, climb up to the second from the top shelf and into the cool whip?! 

Not caring one bit about the World Cup. 

Uncomfortable in dressing rooms. Years ago I saw an episode of Oprah about people putting cameras in hotel room bathrooms and in my young and impressionable mind that translated to CAMERAS ARE EVERYWHERE THEY SHOULDN'T BE and I've felt uncomfortable ever since. 

Trying to convince Christopher to read this book. He says he won't because it's "too emotional".
Put down whatever young adult fiction you're reading about vampires and pick up this book. It is so so good. Don't come back to me after you read it complaining about how I should have told you it's also sad. I don't feel the need to point that out because if you're reading this you can read the subtitle. After you read it:
1. Look them up on facebook (It's VERY IMPORTANT you'd don't jump the gun and do this before reading it.)
2. Come back here and discuss it with me. I need someone to talk to about it since Christopher won't touch it with a 10 foot pole.

Debating whether or not to buy white shorts. They look cute on others and in my minds eye look cute on me, but when I try them on (in a dressing room no less) all my concerns about white shorts come back to me. I'm guaranteed to spill something on them when I'm in public and have no other clothing available. Or I'll chose the wrong color underwear and everyone will know. Either way it's a lose-lose situation.

Wondering whether the storm outside is a regular thunderstorm or a tornado. Christopher is always telling me to go in the closet under the stairs in the event of a tornado but it would be a real bother to go there only to find out this is a regular thunderstorm. On the other hand, it would be unfortunate to discover this is a real tornado and I'm still sitting at the kitchen table. Why is life so complicated.

Feeling like the Duggars because I bought a 15 roll pack of paper towels.

Tickled to have found this onesie for Annabelle.
I'll have to get her a polka dot bow to match.

Friday, June 20, 2014

maybe tomorrow I'll watch Bin in my jelly pizzazz glasses

I am out of things to blog about. You'd think I'd actually have to blog more than twice a month to be out of material but here I am, out of material. 

After starting and erasing three different posts, this is the best I could came with up.

* Annabelle and I sat down in a chair on our front porch at the exact moment that our next door neighbor, also in his front yard, took off his shirt while cutting the grass so it looked like we came out for the express purpose of watching him. We didn't but I haven't made eye contact with him since. (There was also the time I rushed out onto the back porch to take a picture of the sunset over his house not knowing he was sitting on his back porch so it looked like I wanted a picture of him. It's getting awkward in this neighborhood.)

* In regards to the aforementioned neighbor, for months I believed his name was Vin. Christopher took me that was his name the day they met. The other day I mentioned something about him (probably something along the lines of how his grass looks better than ours) and Christopher said his name is Ben, not Vin. This revelation started a conversation about how even after living with him for three years I still can't always understand Christopher's accent. As for our neighbor, I've decided to call him Bin.

* Does anyone know how to get rid of flies? A family of flies has moved into our house and I've had it UP TO HERE with them. They're causing me to think some unholy thoughts. Last year in a moment of desperation I combined cantaloupe juice with kalamata olive juice in a bowl on the counter. It did absolutely no good. To use the lingo of the young people these days, #PinterestFail

* A woman on the phone told me today I "sound petite".

* I went to the eye doctor last week. I'd been putting it off for weeks but finally made the appointment. That makes total sense when you think about it. Why putting off seeing perfectly clearly now when I could wait five months to see? It took me 55 minutes to pick out my new glasses. I liked one pair but Janet P, the lady assigned to help me, said she didn't like the flowers on the side. I wouldn't have minded that she stated her opinion if she followed it up with something like, "They're not my personal style but they look nice on you." I am way too much of a people pleaser for her to simply say she didn't like them. I'd feel like I was hurting her feelings if I picked a pair she didn't like. #WhatIsWrongWithMe The second pair I liked was a lovely color but it had the Chase Bank symbol on the side and until I am an executive at Chase Bank I won't wear glasses that make me look like a walking advertisement. As this point I was really wishing I could keep my pretty Vera Bradley glasses with the blue and white swirls and avoid this whole process. Annabelle was starting to get antsy and I knew I had to wrap things up so after polling three separate ladies I picked a pair that's a much different design that I normally wear. When I picked them up the next day Christopher said the swirls on the side look like jellyfish. Just what I was hoping he'd say! Janet P said they add some pizzazz to my face. The man behind the counter took one look and told me they're "Jelly pizzazz" glasses. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES JELLY PIZZAZZ MEAN? Thank you, Jason, for making me self conscious every time I wear these in public. I feel like I should get a job at an aquarium.  

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

by all appearances this is turning into a fashion blog

I consider it one of my responsibilities as a mother to instill in Annabelle the importance of wearing holiday appropriate clothing. We started off Father's Day weekend in this little getup.
Sunday rolled around and Sesame realized that she had forgotten to order her father's gift. She's so busy during the day sitting in her swing and being carried around in her royal chariot (aka my arms) that it's totally understandable it slipped her mind. Thankfully we remembered a card.
I had big plans of letting Christopher have a relaxing day and making him whatever meal he wanted, but he ended up cooking for us. He did get to sleep until 7:57 and still managed to be ready to leave for church by 8:05 which I don't even want to talk about because the baby and I were up since 6:15. 
Outfit two of the weekend was the onesie I gave Christopher when I found out I was pregnant. She had little jeans and polka dot shoes on for church which really completed the ensemble. I really impressed myself with that outfit.
They're so cute!
Her hand on her knee! Her camouflage bow!
I wish I looked this cute when sitting out on the porch in my pj's. I love her little face!!

PS. Totally unrelated, but I survived a phone call with the insurance company today. Someone mail me a Lifetime Achievement Award.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

a letter from Sesame

Dear Daddy,
   I heard from the other kids in the church nursery that today is the day we celebrate you, my male parental. I'm a big fan of you. You were there for me the day I was born when Mama was high as a kite and didn't even know where I came from. (How does someone get high as a kite? Mom wouldn't tell me. She said to ask you.)
Sorry about being so upset in this picture. I didn't like that my hat was covering my eyes.
I like when you sing to me because you change the words and make the songs new and exciting.
I know I look a little doubtful about this getup Mom put me in, but it has nothing to do with what my outfit says. I was only about four weeks old then so I still hadn't figured out much about my life or the ever-present camera. (Mom says she wishes I could go back to being so tiny and squishy. I'm glad you accept my slightly larger but still squishy self as I am now without trying to relive the past.)
 I made this little picture for you when I should have been taking a nap.
You'll still be my favorite dad even when I have Prince William for a father in law.

Annabelle/Sesame/Squishy/your favorite daughter

Saturday, June 14, 2014

in case you haven't seen enough pictures of Sesame, here's 48 more

I was just sitting there, minding my own business while contemplating current affairs...
when along came Mom with her camera. Again.
She asked me to smile.
I gave a very small grin.
She told me how pretty I am (which is so obvious) and I smiled a little more.
Then she told me a joke which I found so funny
that I fell over from laughing so hard.
She should have stopped there because she started singing a Robert D (known to the general populous as Bob Dylan) song and I started getting concerned about where things were headed. For some reason I thought it would be a good idea to lift up my dress to distract her. Looking back I see now that didn't help the situation because she kept on singing.
Hold it right there, Mom. You're not as good at singing as you think you are.
In fact, you're pretty boring.
I think I'll go back to dreaming of Mr. Lion and eating my hand.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

I've decided I have terrible luck with doctors

On Sunday I wrote an entire post about our weekend in my head. It was interesting, funny, and witty. When I wrote it out yesterday I got six sentences in and decided it would be more interesting to read furniture assembly directions. I was going to try again today but I spent 62 (SIXTY TWO) minutes in the waiting room at the doctor's and another 24 waiting for her to come into the exam room. I was not at all happy to lose an entire afternoon of my life sitting around that office. When we finally made it home I tried swatting a fly with a burp cloth but missed the fly and got Annabelle in the forehead. In other afternoon discoveries, for anyone wondering if it's possible to get your toe stuck in a small hole in the comforter on your bed when you're trying to step around the baby sleeping in her bed and fall flat on your face on said bed, IT IS.

That's why I'm here today with nothing but a handful of unrelated pictures.

Another bad storm blew through on Saturday night. Naturally we were at an outdoor concert when it started. The silver lining was a fantastic sunset.
My garden is growing! I planted these flowers in March. I'm glad to see they're finally getting with the program.
Every day Annabelle and I go out to see how things are progressing. The neighborhood rabbits (Frederick, Margaret, and their offspring Curtis) ate both my cucumber plants and were starting on my green beans but I nipped that funny business in the bud. They haven't been interested in either my tomatoes or peppers. 
I don't know that I've mentioned it before, but I have a baby. 
Her cheeks get bigger every day.
My heart goes out to those who don't have a baby this cute.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

at least we'd be very fashionable if we were hit by a tornado

Last night there was a tornado warning in our area. I didn't know about it until I was in bed and Jenn texted me about it from Korea. It makes total sense that someone on the other side of the world would alert me to the weather in my town. I normally check the weather 12 time a day but it's said "rainy with a chance of t-storm" for 8 days now so I stopped paying attention. I made a mental list of which essentials to grab in case we had to take shelter under the stairs:
1. water
2. Annabelle's bows
3. my Channing Tatum scrapbook (I'M JUST KIDDING, CHRISTOPHER! I don't have a Channing Tatum scrapbook. I have a Josh Turner scrapbook.)

Other than the tornado things have been pretty quiet around here. I take that back. The other day I was cutting Annabelle's fingernail that's approximately half the size of a ladybug and I accidentally cut her finger. There's was blood, lots of screaming, AND IT WAS VERY TRAUMATIC. To add insult to injury, the next morning I took her to the doctor where she got two shots. We She had a tough 24 hours. At least she looked cute getting the shots. She has a great stylist.
Every morning after I've stuck her pacifier back in her mouth to buy 18 more seconds of sleep, I feed her then let her play on the big bed. She kicks around for a while, smiles, and tries to laugh.
Except for getting her nails clipped and being stabbed in the leg she lives a very relaxed life.
I can't even begin to tell you how much I love her tutu skirt.

Monday, June 2, 2014

what I lack in planning skilz I make up for in cake eating skilz

Ever since we got married back in ye olden days of 2011 I've been trying to go strawberry picking as a family. I don't know why we didn't go the first two summers, but I was sure last year would be The Year. It ended up not being The Year because I didn't watch the calendar and all the strawberries were gone when we had a free day. Hoping that a fourth try would bring better luck than the previous three years, I did research and rallied the big one and the small one for a morning at the strawberry patch on Saturday.

We had a slight setback before we even left the house because Annabelle's shirt was too low. She's not even nine weeks old and her cute polka dot shirt with the little beaded spaghetti straps WAS TOO REVEALING. Christopher said no daughter of his would go out in public like that so I had to sew it. We're in for a long wardrobe journey if it's starting already.

In a streak of brilliance I called the farm to be sure they had plenty of strawberries to pick before we left the house. They did not. I was told that not only was their proverbial strawberry well dry, the wells of the other farms in the area were dry as well. There was not a strawberry to be found. It was like the time we went to Washington DC for the cherry blossom festival but we didn't see any cherry blossoms. And the time I took Zachary and Molly to the petting zoo but we couldn't pet the animals. I have impeccable timing and event planning skilz.  

Since I wouldn't be spending the afternoon making strawberry jelly like I planned, we took Annabelle to the library. Christopher read her Moby Dick for Children because apparently we don't believe in reading See Spot Run in our family. 
I refused to read her You're Going to Have a Baby Brother! because SHE IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT ANY TIME SOON. My uterus needs a break. 

It's worth noting that I ate 1/3 of my birthday cake over the weekend. I was going to go to zumba but why do that when I can burn just as many calories moving the fork to my mouth?