Wednesday, July 31, 2013

clearly we need to keep up with our tradition of switching abodes multiples times a year

We finally found a spot for most of the things we own which means one thing- time to move again!! 

Here we go again.

As usual, moving puts the house in a state of disarray. I almost feel that for this sixth time in two years, we've managed to keep things just the slightest bit more orderly around here. And I do mean SLIGHTEST. The boxes are sort of stacked neatly. Everything on the counter is in the same general location. There are no bags of trash lying around. (I'm trying to convince myself here and I'm not sure it's working.)
Let's take an inventory of this small portion of my home:
* random bottle of salad dressing on the counter
* recyclables to take out
* birthday gift to wrap and mail
* Nerds for a healthy packing snack
* wedding gift to mail
* box with cookbooks
* cookbooks that don't fit in the cookbook box
* trash bags that I refuse to put away because they'll be needed in about 3.26 seconds
* box with kitchen utensils blocking the way into the kitchen
* a globe sitting on a random box waaaay over on the left (I didn't know what to do with the earth so I put it with the decor box. Seemed more fitting than in with the glasses.)

What I lack in neat packing skilz I make up for in over-detailed box labeling skilz!

Monday, July 29, 2013

contrary to how it appears, I DO pay attention to stop signs

Why I should be inducted into the Babysitter Hall of Fame: I turned Ryder's driveway into a road complete with stop signs, traffic lights, church, house, and grocery store.
Why I should not be inducted into the Construction Worker/Highway Maintenance Hall of Fame: my stop sign isn't the right shape. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

five on Friday

It was a VERY BIG week for me in the baby department.

Look no further than Pinterest if you need weird jewelry ideas. If the bobby pin necklace doesn't appeal to you, maybe the can tab earrings will.

The sunsets of Tennessee (almost) make up for it's lack of beaches. 

This makes me laugh every time.


Wednesday, July 24, 2013

the fancy Utah wedding of 2013

My friend Kim's fancy Utah wedding happened last week and it was so busy, Busy, BUSY that I've only just started to recover. 

I spent the first three nights at Kim's parents house. Their house was so big that I got lost my first afternoon there. I know I have a history of getting lost easily, but getting lost in someones home takes it to a whole new level of patheticness.
It really is a shame their view from porch wasn't any better. 
The day of the wedding we were told the hair and makeup ladies would be working with us from 8:00-11:45 because it would "take hours to make you all look really beautiful". We tried to ignore the feeling that that statement made it sound like we were all very ugly. We were finished by 10 o'clock which really boosted our self-esteem and solidified our belief that we could have slept for another two hours. 
We left the house almost an hour late and were having a fun time time in the limousine when we realized it was getting very warm. The driver told us the air conditioning was up as high as it could go and no less than two minutes later he pulled to the side of the road, popped the hood, and frantically poured bottles of water into the smoking engine. Ashley, the maid of honor, got out to investigate the situation and learned that "the limo isn't very good on hills". You'd think the driver would have thought of before agreeing to drive up a mountain. He said he could call a backup limo, but Kim's mom absolutely refused to wait and began calling someone to pick us up. I thought the whole thing was HYSTERICAL but couldn't laugh out loud because the mother of the bride was very upset and I didn't want to be banned from the wedding. Low and behold, a man in minivan pulled up to us and said he had six seats if we needed a ride. Obviously we did, so we climbed into the random man's van and hoped he wasn't a mass-kidnapper. God bless Ralph for rescuing us. 
We made it to the ski lodge in plenty of time to catch a gondola to the top of the mountain. Thankfully we didn't get stuck halfway up. 
Being in a wedding makes it difficult to take pictures, but I was able to get a few on my phone. I wish I could have gotten a picture of the officiant who also doubles as the town mayor. 
The day after the wedding Ashley, Daniel (a friend of the groom) and I went out for a day trip. We borrowed a car and I was the driver since neither of the other two knew how to drive a standard. I had trouble getting the car up the hills and couldn't figure out the problem until Ashley pinpointed the issue.
We crossed our fingers and toes and rolled into the gas station in the nick of time. We couldn't expect Ralph to rescue us for the second time in 24 hours!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

the boy behind the blog

Boys Behind The Blog
June questions:
1. Does your wife/girlfriend/fiance use your real name or a nickname on her blog?
Christopher or Honey Buns or something like that. Haven't you? I think you have.
I'll have to check.

2. If you had a blog, what would the title be? 
Error 404, File Not Found.
I bet there's no if you want it.
I'm good.
Would you ever do a guest post on this blog?
About what?
Thank you for clarifying.

3. Do you ever feel ignored by her because of the blog?
No. Not at all.
You've never come home and thought all I did that day was blog?
No, but even if you did that wouldn't be a problem.
(He's the best blog husband.)

4. How has her blog changed or evolved throughout your relationship? 
Less about babysitting. More frequent references to how I frustrate you, even if it's in a playful manner.

5. What is your favorite post on her blog?
The button one where you said you'd marry me.

July questions:

1. What celebrity would play you in a movie about your life?
Steve Buscemi or Paul Giamatti.
Who should play me?
You should.
You want somebody else to play you and me to play me?
Oh no! I just couldn't think of anyone pretty enough to play you. 

2. What is your dream car?
Ford Explorer with the gas mileage of an electric car.
What color?

3. Do you have any tattoos? What, where, why?
Yes, everywhere, lots of things, various reasons.
(Editors note: very accurate answer.)

4. List 3 random facts about yourself...
I can wiggle my ears.
Can you? Do you want to show me? That's fascinating! I'm so glad we had this conversation.
I like spy novels. That's a boring fact that doesn't mean anything.
I enjoy minor league baseball.
Who's your favorite minor league baseball team?
I don't have one.
What about the Pawsox?
Never seen them play.

You don't want to say they're your favorite because they're my favorite?
No because they might not be my favorite.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

two redheads, a brunette, and me

One of the only times I've been excited to move since we got married was when we moved from Fort Lee to Fort Campbell. I wasn't attached to anyone at Fort Lee and I had a "friend" at Campbell. It was a very loose friendship because after all, she was off the internet and you never can tell about those internet people. (Said the girl who met her husband online.) I was slightly hesitant about giving her my phone number but decided that if she was a mass murderer out to get us, I could always switch phones, change my identity, and join the Witness Protection Program. 

We met in person on May 25th, 2012 and much to my joy and relief, she wasn't a mass murderer. Fifteen months, countless visits, and more than 5,000 texts later, she's my very best friend in Kentucky/Tennessee/southern part of the country.

I think we all know by now I'm talking about Jenn

Here we are the day we met:
And here we are reenacting the photo a year later. I have more chins, Jenn is looking all fit and trim (she's basically a super-marathoner) and Molly still refuses to look at the camera and acknowledge she's associated with us.
Everyone needs a Jenn. She introduced me to Chick Fil A, took me to the pumpkin patch and Christmas parade, introduced me to Aggie the Awesome and her munchkins (my other best friends here), convinced me to get on instagram and told me about new blogs. For weeks I would go over to visit every Friday afternoon to gossip. We gossip on other days too, Friday was just our big day. We've even kept lists of what to discuss. She asked me to watch her kids while she sent Steve off to Afghanistan and had me over for supper the night he came home. Because of her I can spell lieutenant properly. She let me come to her house at midnight when there was shooting at our apartment and Christopher wasn't home. She wanted me to pick her up from the airport even though we almost died on the drive there the day I dropped her off. We went wogging (walking/jogging) together. She discussed in detail the pros and cons (mostly pros) of working on a Josh Turner tour. She let me eat all manor of gluten free foods from her pantry and told me about the best gf chocolate chip cookies at the commissary. We had a movie night which turned into recording ourselves attempting to plank. That's when I learned this:
As if all that didn't accurately convey our friendship, here's a short list of reasons why we're perfect for each other:
* we both married transportation officers
* we both have curly hair
* we both have a father who owns a business
* we both have three brothers and one sister
* we both have a sister named Elizabeth
* we both have siblings who are twins

We're pretty much the same person.

Steve and Christopher were basically forced to become friends. (Don't all grown men love when their wives set them up on play dates?) During our first visit, Jenn and I "toured the upstairs" which meant we stood in the hallway to discussed relatives and placentas and our mutual love for subpar blogs while the men talked downstairs. Talked is a very generous way of putting it. They occasionally let out a few words with VERY LONG gaps of complete silence in between. When we went over for supper a few weeks ago, the men stood out by the grill talking for hours while we ladies stayed indoors. They've come so far.

Sammy screamed bloody murder the first time we met. By the third time he saw me, he marched into my house like he owned the place and spent some quality time sniffing all my seasonings. He's gotten so accustomed to having me around that I've even been mentioned in his bedtime prayers. He probably mostly likes me because when I'm around he gets to play in the CFA play area, but I like to think he enjoys my natural charm and the knowledge that he's among my favorite little boyfriends.
Molly was just a ball of chub and red hair when we met, and not too much has changed except somehow she's become an even cuter ball of chub and red hair. I love her so much. Jenn said I could keep her when they move to Korea, but she went ahead and got Molly a passport so I guess that means she's going.
Monday we met at CFA for supper. It was the saddest visit ever because I had to tell them goodbye before they move 62 million miles away to Korea. I told myself not to cry right there in the middle of the parking lot but of course I did. I also told myself that this is EXACTLY WHY I should never love people so much and from now on I will live in a cave like a hermit.  
Thanks for being my friend, Jenn. Don't let the Asian ladies take my spot. You know it's impossible that they have the same blog lists we do! Just as soon as we get the Army to finalize the paperwork we'll be over. In the meantime, keep my guest bed open. I love you more than chocolate! 

Monday, July 15, 2013


This may come as a surprise to some of you, but we have a child and today is her birthday.
She lives in Burkina Faso, Africa with her birth mother and various family members, but since we sponsor her, I like to say she's ours.

Just look at what she listed as her favorite food.

I told you she was my child.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

a ball was had by all

Last night we continued our traditional of attending a summer baseball game. 
The tradition was only started last year so we're currently batting 100 with Summer Tradition Success. 
Our friends Daniel and Scherrie came with us and we were all having so much fun eating nachos with fake cheese and not paying attention to our surroundings that we didn't realize we were sitting in the wrong seats. In the completely wrong section. So we picked up our various belongs (which means I had four things to pick up and Christopher had zero. Why do men always pack so light?) and made the walk of shame out of our row.
Our move was actually a good thing because it provided a better vantage point for Picture VIII of my Dugout Series. Every single time I've been to a baseball I take a dugout picture. It's a tradition I cannot explain. 
The game went into extra innings and was topped off with fireworks at the end. Judging from the fact that I included my knee in the picture, I probably won't be starting a Fireworks After the Game series.
We didn't have time to eat supper before the game and the fake nachos didn't cut it, so we went out to eat after the fireworks. Christopher and I like to think we're as exciting as the next couple, but we aren't usually out on the town eating supper at 12:45 in the AM. Double dates make you go wild.
A song came on the radio while we were eating that launched Christopher, Scherrie, and Daniel into a discussion of songs they listened to in the 80's. I couldn't contribute much to the conversation due to being born 6 months before the 1980's ended. If I had to guess, I'd say my favorite song from the 80's was a toss-up between Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Jesus Loves Me. Even as an infant I had sophisticated taste in music. 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

things to blog about when you don't have anything to blog about

I've been in a rut lately when it comes to blogging material, so I turned to Al Gore's invention for a little assistance. The internet provided the following ideas when I searched for "things to blog about when you don't have anything to blog about".  

Write-up a theoretical exercise for a company changing something about the way they do business--like what if Twitter created a level of paid accounts or what if Facebook added features for the enterprise.  Should Uber have shared rides?  What kind of advertising mechanism should Tumblr have? 
First of all, I had never heard of Uber. In the spirit of openmindedness I did some research and it appears Uber is some sort of personal taxi service. At least that's what I got from the homepage. It's not like I did any further research because I am my own personal taxi service and don't need to hire anyone to get me to Walmart. (Although I did break our car the other day but that's a story for another day.) Second of all, I usually avoid non-food related theoretical exercises as they tend to hurt my brain. Not to mention that this topic is nowhere near what we ever discuss on this blog. 

How are you "average" or not related to how the world is designed with you in mind?  Where do you differ from the fat middle of the normal curve and how do you have to be conscious of this when doing your job?
I think this question is FAR AND ABOVE beyond my non-existent blogging pay grade. 

Memory of your first speaking 
I can't go there. I just can't. Let's just say it included A LOT of tears and tissues.

Interviews with angels
The fact that someone included this on their list of "what should I blog about today" ideas fascinates me. I'd be all I JUST INTERVIEWED AN ANGEL, PEOPLE! right after it happen, not five months down the road when I had nothing else to say. Besides, maybe I hang out with the wrong crowd, but no one I know has ever sat down and interviewed an angel. If you have, please fill me in on all the details asap.

Conduct an interview with someone you admire.
Answer pending. Josh Turner, I will clear my calendar for you anytime. 

Sunday, July 7, 2013

snapshots from Independence Day weekend

Snapshot 1: 
Horseback riding in a torrential downpour.
Snapshot 2: 
I tried to take an incognito picture of Dad and Elizabeth riding their horses behind me but all I got was this picture of the side of my face. Looks like I have a serious case of 5 o'clock shadow going on. Christopher is a lucky man!
Snapshot 3:
Snapshot 4:
Snapshot 5:
The professional fireworks were canceled due to previously mentioned rain, but Christopher directed us in setting off our own personal fireworks show. I had never set off fireworks before and most of mine never left the ground. The show was successful because no one lost any important limbs! 
Snapshot 6: 
 Showing off my flexibility Giving Dad a personal water aerobics class.
Snapshot 7:
While swimming we saw an entire rainbow circling the sun. I'd never seen anything like it before. I'd look up the technical name but then I'd get sidetracked reading predictions about my Godchild, the future prince/prince of Cambridge.  
Snapshot 8:
Rainbow leaves at Centennial Park in Nashville.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

wordless Wednesday: favorite sister edition

Monday, July 1, 2013

I almost felt bad eating fish with all those live fish swimming around

We recently installed a revolving door in our apartment because Hotel de Awesome has had a steady stream of guest for the last month. This past weekend we had seven people which lead to all sorts of cozy and crowded moments.

Three founding members of my fan club and their father/husband (I have not confirmed that he is indeed a member of my fan club but HOW COULD HE NOT BE?) drove all the way from Rhode Island to visit me. I felt so honored. They posed for the paparazzi during our day trip to a cave. Naturally they're all looking stellar and doing an excellent job representing the Red Sox.
We spent approximately 78,952 hours in the pool over three days. Jillian and I spent some quality time with Mr. Happy who was making his annual summer appearance.
We gave them to Nashville on Friday. People who get lost in the town they spent the first 21 years of their life in are qualified to give tours in a town they've visited exactly 5 times. Of course I'm talking about Christopher here.

We saw this loony person in Centennial Park. I have no idea who she is, where she's from, or who she's related to.
I told Anna to look cute for a picture and this is what she did. It's a pity the cuteness isn't shining any more brightly. 
Ever since we moved here I've been hearing about how great the aquarium in Nashville is. I thought it would be a perfect place to take our visitors and I talked about for days. I love a good aquarium and the more beluga whales and penguins the better. Turns out there isn't a real aquarium in Nashville. There is a fish themed restaurant called (any guesses?) The Aquarium with a huge fish tank in the center of the dining area. It was a fascinating. Much better than the fish I sometimes visit in the tiny pet section of Walmart. 
There were no penguins in sight, but we did see a scuba diver cleaning the coral while we ate. 
Come back anytime, fan club. Our revolving door will always go around for you.

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