two redheads, a brunette, and me

One of the only times I've been excited to move since we got married was when we moved from Fort Lee to Fort Campbell. I wasn't attached to anyone at Fort Lee and I had a "friend" at Campbell. It was a very loose friendship because after all, she was off the internet and you never can tell about those internet people. (Said the girl who met her husband online.) I was slightly hesitant about giving her my phone number but decided that if she was a mass murderer out to get us, I could always switch phones, change my identity, and join the Witness Protection Program. 

We met in person on May 25th, 2012 and much to my joy and relief, she wasn't a mass murderer. Fifteen months, countless visits, and more than 5,000 texts later, she's my very best friend in Kentucky/Tennessee/southern part of the country.

I think we all know by now I'm talking about Jenn. 

Here we are the day we met:

And here we are reenacting the photo a year later. I have more chins, Jenn is looking all fit and trim (she's basically a super-marathoner) and Molly still refuses to look at the camera and acknowledge she's associated with us.

Everyone needs a Jenn. She introduced me to Chick Fil A, took me to the pumpkin patch and Christmas parade, introduced me to Aggie the Awesome and her munchkins (my other best friends here), convinced me to get on instagram and told me about new blogs. For weeks I would go over to visit every Friday afternoon to gossip. We gossip on other days too, Friday was just our big day. We've even kept lists of what to discuss. She asked me to watch her kids while she sent Steve off to Afghanistan and had me over for supper the night he came home. Because of her I can spell lieutenant properly. She let me come to her house at midnight when there was shooting at our apartment and Christopher wasn't home. She wanted me to pick her up from the airport even though we almost died on the drive there the day I dropped her off. We went wogging (walking/jogging) together. She discussed in detail the pros and cons (mostly pros) of working on a Josh Turner tour. She let me eat all manor of gluten free foods from her pantry and told me about the best gf chocolate chip cookies at the commissary. We had a movie night which turned into recording ourselves attempting to plank. That's when I learned this:

As if all that didn't accurately convey our friendship, here's a short list of reasons why we're perfect for each other:

* we both married transportation officers

* we both have curly hair

* we both have a father who owns a business
* we both have three brothers and one sister

* we both have a sister named Elizabeth

* we both have siblings who are twins

We're pretty much the same person.

Steve and Christopher were basically forced to become friends. (Don't all grown men love when their wives set them up on play dates?) During our first visit, Jenn and I "toured the upstairs" which meant we stood in the hallway to discussed relatives and placentas and our mutual love for subpar blogs while the men talked downstairs. Talked is a very generous way of putting it. They occasionally let out a few words with VERY LONG gaps of complete silence in between. When we went over for supper a few weeks ago, the men stood out by the grill talking for hours while we ladies stayed indoors. They've come so far.

Sammy screamed bloody murder the first time we met. By the third time he saw me, he marched into my house like he owned the place and spent some quality time sniffing all my seasonings. He's gotten so accustomed to having me around that I've even been mentioned in his bedtime prayers. He probably mostly likes me because when I'm around he gets to play in the CFA play area, but I like to think he enjoys my natural charm and the knowledge that he's among my favorite little boyfriends.

Molly was just a ball of chub and red hair when we met, and not too much has changed except somehow she's become an even cuter ball of chub and red hair. I love her so much. Jenn said I could keep her when they move to Korea, but she went ahead and got Molly a passport so I guess that means she's going.

Monday we met at CFA for supper. It was the saddest visit ever because I had to tell them goodbye before they move 62 million miles away to Korea. I told myself not to cry right there in the middle of the parking lot but of course I did. I also told myself that this is EXACTLY WHY I should never love people so much and from now on I will live in a cave like a hermit.  

Thanks for being my friend, Jenn. Don't let the Asian ladies take my spot. You know it's impossible that they have the same blog lists we do! Just as soon as we get the Army to finalize the paperwork we'll be over. In the meantime, keep my guest bed open. I love you more than chocolate! 

my midnight escape turned into a wild night which resulted in the filming of an exercise video

My weekend started off with a bang (which really is a TERRIBLE choice of words considering what I'm about to say) Thursday night when someone in our apartment complex was shot with a gun. I thought the gun part would be obvious, but when I was telling the story to Erika she said, "YOU MEAN SHOT WITH A GUN?!" I suppose it's possible it could have been a crossbow, but it wasn't. 

I had zero desire to spend the rest of the night at home alone after that, so I tossed a few things in a bag and prepared for a midnight escape to Hotel de Jenn. After I packed my bag I made the bed. Obviously it was not important for me to do that and I have no explanation for why I did except that I recall saying to myself, "I have to make sure the bed is neat in case the shooter comes in here." Because the most important thing to do when your life is in danger is ensure that people are impressed with your housekeeping skills. I'm surprised I didn't spend a few minutes cleaning the inside of the microwave.

The owner/operator/housekeeper at Hotel de Jenn is extremely generous and said I could stay as long as I want. Personally I think she was glad someone else was around to watch Sam's trash truck movie with him and pretend it was the most fascinating thing we'd ever seen. 

Molly spends a good deal of her life alternating between trying to eat Sam's food and crying to be picked up asking in a quiet and lady like voice to be held. In this picture she's wondering why Sam got to try coffee and she didn't. 

 

"Surely Mom isn't worried about coffee stunting my growth."

Without really meaning to, Jenn and I turned the second night of my stay into a wild party night. And by wild party night I mean we sat on the couch talking and consuming an impressive amount of chocolate and Jelly Bellies. I had the best time with her. I'm pretty sure it was one of the only times Jenn has voluntarily stayed up that late since she'd had children.

It has yet to be confirmed, but in a fit of unusual silliness (Serious and Dignified are our middle names) it's possible that we may have begun filming a vlog. 

And now that I've put the vlog secret out there I guess that means we'll have to finish it. 

rarely do I have a near-death experience so early in the morning

I almost died today. What's more, I almost took one of my favorite people with me.

How's that for a fun way to start this post off? 

I woke up at the crack of dark o'thirty this morning to drive Jenn to the airport. She left to visit her peeps in wine country and didn't offer to take me, but I'm trying not to feel offended. She does see me multiple times a week and who can say no when someone invites you to the west coast in the middle of January? Because despite what I firmly believed, temperatures in the south do indeed drop to freezing. When I went out to warm up the car, I found the whole parking lot and all the cars covered in a sheet of ice. 

Those last two sentences are very important to the following story.

Barely ten minutes after leaving my house we were drinking our Dunkin Donuts and just getting to the good conversation topics when WOOOOSH. We hit a terrible ice patch. We started sliding back and forth across all the lanes of the highway. It was so scary. What made it worse was we were ON A BRIDGE. If I could capitalize capital letters I would. How about this--- WE WERE ON A BRIDGE. Driving off a bridge is one of my very worst nightmares. 

Being from New England I pride myself in the ability to handle moderate to severe winter driving conditions, but in such a moment of panic all I could do was think "DON'T LET JENN DIE! HER HUSBAND WILL HATE YOU! DON'T LET JENN DIE! SHE HAS TWO BABIES WHO NEED HER! DON'T LET HER DIE!"

In case it is not evident, we both survived. Naturally the furthest thing on our minds was grabbing the camera to photograph what was possibly our last moments here on earth, so I created this illustration.

Please ignore the glaring errors. The sky wasn't orange, we weren't driving in an old fashioned yellow truck, and the bridge was at least 28 stories higher. 

Jenn's flight must have seemed nothing but a pure delight after that little ordeal. 

Gimme an J! Gimme an E! Gimme an N! N!

The other week I informed Christopher that I liked living here. I followed that up by saying that 75% of why I like it is because of Jenn and her squishable, kissable munchkin children.(It took me a while to think of reasons to fill in the other 25%.) She's one my favorite parts of living Fort Campbell. She was one of the top two reason I was happy to move here (the other was we probably won't have to pack up our entire lives and move for three more years).

We communicate multiple times every day. In fact, we've sent 725 texts between the beginning of October and today. Christopher and I have only sent 262. All I have to say about that is clearly Christopher is not the one I turn to when a blogger is causing drama (Jenn and I love a good blogging drama) or when I would like to discuss the pros and cons of trying to get a job helping out Josh Turner when he goes on tour. (Surely he needs a backup singer.) With 725 texts, it's no wonder Jenn is the main recipient of errors courtesy of my autocorrect.

But I informed her about National Chocolate Day so as a whole she overlooks my errors.

Happy birthday, Jenn. Thanks for having us over when we were strange people from off the internet. Thanks for taking me wogging (walking/jogging), pumpkin patching, and letting me have free access to all the gluten free food Sam won't eat. Thank you for introducing me to the wonders of REAL yoga pants. I'm wearing them now in honor of your big day. 

Let's take an updated picture, ok?

when the husband's away, the wife will play

Or at least she'll go pumpkin patching. (She might also eat a block of cheddar cheese and possibly make it a personal goal to watch seasons 5-9 of The Office in one week.)

When Jenn asked if I wanted to go to the pumpkin patch with them, it took me all of 3.2 seconds to respond with an enthusiastic, "letmethinkaboutit YES!" (The auto correct on my phone tried to change 'letmethinkaboutit' to 'perms turnabout'.) Beyond the obvious appeal of pumpkin patching with some favorite peeps, another visit with Jenn would mean we'd have more time to discuss our favorite topics- blogs, chocolate, Pinterest, and bloggers we don't know but wish we did/are glad we don't. Then we usually talk about blogs a little more just for good measure. We've seen each other four times this week and we talked about those every single time. Frankly I don't see any change on the horizon. 

WARNING- picture overload ahead.

The pumpkin patch was way out in the middle of nowhere. Out in the boondocks. The sticks. We may have driven all the way to the west coast. I do know one thing for certain- we yelled "LOOK SAM! IS THAT A HELICOPTER?" every two minutes for an hour. I think one time I pointed out a helicopter that was actually a bird. I never was good with aircraft. Our lengthy expedition (which may or may not have included Jenn using a police turn around on the highway) was not in vain because look what Sammy found when we got there! 

I LOVE Molly. Is she not the cutest baby ever?! 

We spent a significant portion of our visit looking at the goats and two pigs that were (no exaggeration) as big as refrigerators. Eventually we boarded an ancient ANCIENT truck and took a hay ride to the corn maze and pumpkin patch.

You'll notice Sam's look of concern. He was worried, as we all were, that we'd either be flung to the floor when the truck came to a screeching halt or that it was going to die. Both were valid concerns.

This is the point where I should insert some witty saying about how a corn maze is like life because we are presented with different paths along the way, but I can't think of any.

Thanks to our fearless leader we navigated through the maze and arrived back at the truck in one piece. Samster did trip over invisible rocks an unusual number of times, but he didn't break any bones so I call that a success.

Look at little Sammy's face! I just informed him that he has the distinct privilege of being my littlest boyfriend and he was obviously delighted. 

Looks like a pear on steroids.

"I don't know why you people are so enthusiastic about pumpkins and old tractors. I much prefer chewing on Mother's keys." 

"Actually, I could be doing this in the comfort of my own home. If we were at home, you two ladies wouldn't have to keep lifting my stroller in and out of the truck. Perhaps you should work on your arm muscles. The lifting appears to be a strain."

"WHAT IS MOTHER DOING NOW? Is she...no...she can't be...WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE'S STEALING PUMPKINS? I am so embarrassed. I hope no one knows we're related."

Much to Molly's great delight, her pumpkin-stealing mother (I promise she did pay) tried taking her picture near the sunflowers. At least I think that's what was happening on the other side of the sunflower patch. I couldn't see them but I heard crying and someone saying, "Moooooolly! Look over heeeeeere." so I imagine it was a photo session. 

I was busy helping Sam get up and down from the tractor seat approximately 12 times. He couldn't decide if he liked it the first time so he had to try it out 11 more times. 

And so ended the The Great Pumpkin Patch Expedition of 2012. I'd be happy to do it again tomorrow, but especially happy if I knew there would be some snacks involved. Sam ate the last oriental rice cracker thing and we were down to our last cough drops and sticks of gum. 

Hop over and read Jenn's account of our day. It involves a highly flattering photo of me watching a goat eat Sam's hand. 

the dress code was black yoga pants so it was a very laid-back affair

Today's one of those days that I talk about something that happened last week because I'm only just now getting around to it. More precisely, we're going to talk about last Friday afternoon.

Jenn hosted a blogger get-together and as someone who takes pictures of everything, you'd think I could have done a better job of photographing the event. I even made a special trip to Best Buy (one of my least favorite stores) for a new camera battery charger so I'd be prepared. The man who helped me find the charger was ringing up my purchase when he asked me, "So, what brings you into the store today?" I thought what brought me there was pretty obvious seeing how I had asked him where the chargers were just three minutes before. The whole point of this paragraph (yes! there is a point!) is to say that I only ended up taking four pictures- two of food and two of Sammy. All four were taken with my phone.

Food picture #1. I made cheesecake stuffed strawberries for the par-tay. Making them was easy enough, but transporting them was another story. Getting them to Jenn's was my second most stressful food transportation experience. I spent the whole drive with one hand on the steering wheel and the other vainly trying to keep the strawberries from falling over. Jenn lives on-post and the ID checker guy (official name unknown) clearly thought I was odd for holding my hand over a plate of strawberries and mini chocolate chips. 

Food picture #2 titled Jenn's Fudge. Alternately titled Yum. Alternately alternately titled I Ate A Lot.

It was fun to meet the other ladies and spend the afternoon talking. Apparently Sam wasn't too interested in our conversations about junk stores or Tricare. He needed not one but three plastic containers to keep himself entertained.

"I suppose I can manage to look slightly entertained after you spend five minutes rubbing the top of your head with a balloon while making weird noises. You do realize you look like a crazy woman, right?"

We didn't take a group picture so this will have to do. I apologize that no one has hair. The only option was facial hair and I didn't think anyone would appreciate that.

If you want to know what these women really look like I suggest visiting their blogs. Jenn,Molly, Kingsley, Julie. (Brittany doesn't have a blog so I guess she'll be forever known as the girl with the flowery party hat.)

the grass on my side of the fence is a lovely shade of green

Monday night I lay in bed thinking about all the things that had gone wrong in my day. After about twenty minutes of having a pity party with myself, I decided I really didn’t have much to complain about.

I was frustrated with the doctor for not understanding what I was saying. But that means I’m able to see a doctor whenever I need one.

I was annoyed to sit in the pharmacy waiting room for almost an hour only to not get the correct medicine. But that means I have access to medicine.

I was irritated that it was raining and the umbrella was in the other car. But that means we’re not in the middle of a drought.

I felt my vanity was bruised because my favorite jeans don’t fit as well as they used to. But that means I have food to eat.

I didn't feel like cleaning the cooktop again. But that means I have a nice kitchen.

I was sad that I don’t get to see Zachary and Molly as much since I’ve moved. But moving means that I get to make friends like Jenn and fall in love with her little munchkins.

I got slightly bothered because we don’t have the same idea of how to decorate the house. But that means I have a house to live in, things to decorate it with, and someone to dance with on Sunday nights.

When I looked at it that way, I really didn’t have much to complain about at all.

about the time we went to the home of someone we met on the internet (and lived to tell about it)

Well hello! What's going on in your world? 

The Christopher/Sarah portion of the world is currently on the road, so this post is coming to you live from a hotel room. To be precise, we are house hunting/scoping out the scene at our next home. We didn't leave until Thursday night, a fact which promoted Christopher to say that he needed something to keep him awake. Naturally I suggested we have a sing-along. Being the director of the show, I appointed him the first singer. He sang a rousing rendition of "Three is the Magic Number" after which he informed me it was my turn. Using a sunglass case as a microphone, I attempted to sing "Bridge Over Troubled Water". It seems Paul Simon and I need a little more practice before we go on tour together. To make up for Trouble Water, I sang an African song. How many of the words were really African and how many were simply a odd jumble of letters is up for debate, but I thought it was beautiful. I guess Christopher didn't think so because he didn't ask for an encore. I can tell you that it was way better than the ENTIRE Justin Bieber song we listened to because we were too tired to reach up and turn off the radio. 

My favorite part of this trip has been meeting the ever funny and hospitable Jenn!! She has become my Fort Campbell Source with a capital S. She invited us over for supper last night and I was all sorts of excited. Not only would I meet her, I'd get to meet Sam the Man and Molly McCuteness too. I'm here to report that Molly's cheeks are even better in person. They really are larger than life. Sam wanted nothing to do with me at first (he said something like "AAAAIIEOENFEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" every time he looked at me), but when he discovered that he could sit on my lap while I bounced him up and down 548 times, he decided maybe I was cool after all. He helped me blow out the candles on the birthday cake Jenn made (wasn't that sweet of her?), so I think an enduring friendship is pretty much guaranteed.

We were clearly very coordinated when we took this picture. I'm looking straight ahead, Jenn's looking to her right, and Molly's looking off to the corner wondering why we're letting a photo op get in between her and her milk.

I am so glad to already have a friend when we move to Tennessee! Sam and I had a serious discussion about when we'll get together for play dates. Of course we'll let Jenn come along too. ;-)