Monday, September 17, 2018

somehow every post turns into a discussion of the heat

Back in our childless days, we spent several weekends driving to Nashville for concerts and events. It was a carefree, laidback time.

This weekend we met Pete the Cat. 

How the times have changed. 

Where before we clapped for Josh Turner, we now count down the days until we can meet a blue cat in the multi-purpose room of the local library. I really talked up how fun it would be to meet him because I didn't want to get there and have AB be too scared to say hello. The last time we met characters at the library I had to be the one to hold their hands to show her they were nice. The day before the meet and greet, Annabelle told me, "You know, Mom. It will only be a person that's dressed up like a Pete." Why is the magic of childhood already fleeting? I thought for sure she'd think he was the real deal.

Sesame wanted to bring little Pete the stuffed animal to meet big Pete. We were making labels the other day (we were very bored) and she wanted one that said Max for Pete to wear as a collar. Maybe Pete has a double identity that I don't know about. She got a blue guitar painted on her face and would have left a happy camper had that been the only activity. 
Look at the joy on her face! She forgot what she said about him not being real when she saw him. She went right up and hugged him like an old friend. 
Big Pete liked Little Pete aka Max and flashed his signature two thumbs up. "Mama, I think he thought that my Pete was groovy. Don't you think so? Pete likes groovy things. Big Pete, not little Pete. Little Pete is only a pretend stuffed animal. I don't know what he likes since he's not real. What does he like? Do you know? I think he likes his new shoes. Does he like new shoes?"

I spent some time in that afternoon painting Annabelle's new playhouse. Shortly I'll be able to do a big reveal but I want to document now that it is a labor of true love to build a playhouse in this burning furnace of a place. It's been never-ending heat for almost seven straight months now. I am over it. I'm ready for cooler weather and by that I mean I'll take anything below 70*. I just want it to be below 96* at 6:30pm! I've asked around when it will get cooler and the general consensus is "maybe November." NOVEMBER. I saw an ad for deodorant specially formulated for Georgia heat and immediately ordered some. I don't know if it's really different from any other deodorant but the ad reeled me in, hook line and sinker. I will do anything. 

We walked to the mailbox today and Annabelle brought the stepstool so she could reach the mail. Not 12 feet into our lengthy walk, she asked me to carry the stool because "It's so hot. It's one inch hotter than Africa out today." Inches, degrees. Potatoes, poetatoes. 
Out of the mouth of babes.

Thursday, September 13, 2018

an interview with myself

I saw these questions floating around instagram and since I've been floundering for blogging material, I decided to answer them here.

I grew up... in the same bedroom, in the same house, on the same street, in the same state, attending the same church, from the day I was born until the day I got married.

Someone who has influenced me... my grandma. I lived next to her for 21 years and saw her almost every day. I hate being so far away from her now. I don't know if I didn't realize it when I was younger or if she's always been like this, but she is so so funny. We laugh so hard every time we're together we usually end up crying. I think that's why she's lived to be 91; they say laughter makes you live longer. When mom had the twins, Grandma took months off from her weekly card club so she could help out. She would do our grocery shopping and take one of us big kids with her every week. We'd do the shopping then stop at McDonalds for lunch. We'd always get Grandpa an apple pie while we were there because she adored him and knew he loved the pies. She taught me how to play rummy and told me that it's important to always have a deck of cards handy. Just last week I was out with a friend and I pulled a deck of cards out of my purse when she mentioned teaching me a card game. 


A thing that changed my world view... This isn't change so much as an adjustment. I've always been anti abortion but it wasn't until I was pregnant that I started to understand why some women might feel it's their only option. I was SO SO sick the entire time and the only way for me to have physically felt better would have been for the baby to no longer be there. I wouldn't have gotten an abortion to feel better, but those 272 days (but who's counting) gave me more sympathy for others. For the record, if you're thinking of having an abortion because you don't think you can care for the baby, please give it to me. I will take all the babies I don't have to carry inside me.


I am strangely good at... catching flies with my hand. I used to swat at them with towels, clothes, anything that had a good snap to it. I've learned the best way to catch them is approach them slowly then capture them in your fingers. They see the towel coming and they're outta there. A hand catches them off guard. It's not an exaggeration to say I've caught about 10 flies with my hand this summer. I've also been known to pet bees. I have so many talents. 

A defining moment in my life was when... It took me a while to come up with an answer for this one. Seeing Josh Groban was one of the greatest moments of my life but it wasn't defining. The best I could come up with was when I first felt bonded to Annabelle. I liked her when she was born and would have said I loved her, but it wasn't any different than how I loved the children I babysat. I always felt like she was someone else's child who was left at my house and the mother never came back. When she was about 6 weeks old I was singing You are My Sunshine and she smiled at me. It was the first time she reacted like that to something I did and it sealed the deal on our relationship. We've been mutual fans of each other ever since.

Recent discovery I can't stop talking about when... Walmart grocery pickup. They always give me a bottle of cold water like I've been the one doing all the hard work. All I have to do is order online, show up, and have the groceries put in my car. It's magical. 

Something I'm struggling with right now is... my weight. I've been exercising and eating all the right foods without one bit of improvement. I weigh the same now as I did the day I had Annabelle. 
I lost all my pregnancy weight by my 6 week appointment but here we are. I am so self conscious about it. I generally keep things light and breezy around here but sometimes the heavy topics (lolz) come up.

My magical reset button is... a walk on the beach or a good nap. Unfortunately we don't live near the beach and my sweet child doesn't provide many opportunities for naps.


In 3 months, ask me about... how my diet/exercise routine is going. Bring klondike bars in case it hasn't been going well.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

wanted: mayoral assistant

I don't mean to brag, but I learned yesterday that I'm the mayor of America.

I always wanted to be the First Lady and consider this a pitstop on the way to achieving my goal. Annabelle informed me of my new political office then said she worked at city hall and would help me with mayor things. I said I wanted a list of students at the town school (in her bedroom) and she said she couldn't do that because she's not the teacher. I asked her to make a list of the jobs in town and she didn't want to. I asked for a snack but she refused to get me one. She will not be in charge of my reelection campaign.

Of course nothing can top my big political gains, but we went to Aldi grocery store on Monday and that was pretty close. Eighteen-year-old Sarah would have been so embarrassed if she knew how excited I was about going. I shopped at Aldi's all the time in New York but haven't been in months. The closest one is almost two hours away so I can't run in whenever I need something. Our original Labor Day plans were canceled due to weather, so we made new plans that revolved around a trip to Aldis.

At this point I'd like to pause and say that I assume you all want to spend the weekend with us. A trip to the grocery store! What fun! What more could you ask for? I'll be opening my travel agent business next week.

We picked up Jason's Deli for lunch then drove to a park for lunch. Annabelle instantly dropped her hot dog on the sandy ground and I washed it off with my water bottle. She took two bites then dropped it again. That's how I learned my limit for washing off hot dogs is two. After lunch we went wading in the river. It was so pretty. It had rocks creating mini waterfalls and little streams. There were little pools deep enough for AB to "swim" in but swallow enough she could stand. Unfortunately, navigating the slippery rocks was like an octopus trying to ice skate. It was a mess. People were slipping and sliding all over the place. I'm surprised Annabelle didn't get her arm pulled out of the socket after all the times we had to pull her up.


Actual footage of our walk over the rocks. No matter how many times I reminded her to walk slowly, she went down over and over and over again.
I managed to not fall and get soaking wet so I was the only one who went into Aldis. I had my cart quarter, my bags and my lengthy list. It's was like being reunited with an old friend. An old friend who was plotting against me. I knocked over not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR displays. I knocked over something in almost every aisle. It was so embarrassing. I was a bull in a china shop. I shouldn't even have to do my own grocery shopping. After all, I am the mayor. Don't I have a person for that? 

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

an experiment to see how much I can write while sitting next to Annabelle

I'm writing this while sitting next to Annabelle who is coloring. We'll see how well this goes.

I can't believe it's almost September. Time has simultaneously been going by at a snail's pace and warp speed. Whenever I mention it to Christopher he makes a comment along the lines of "That's how time goes." This is why I text my girl friends about my feelings. They always sympathize. 

"Mom! How did they write in history?"

September has always been one of my favorite months. I wanted to get married in September. I'd like a child with a September birthday but that would mean being pregnant in the summer and just the thought of it makes me want to curl up and die. September has always meant Indian summer and warm breezes which I love. I don't expect September to be much different than our current heat suffocation but I can hope. I'm so ready for it to cool down so we can play outside. Our yard is 95% in the sun and the 5% that is shaded is near the mosquito-infested woods. We go stir crazy being inside all the time. We can visit the outdoor playgrounds very early in the morning or go to the indoor playground but that gets old quickly. 

"Mom! What's that kind of rope thing that hangs high up that we used to have in New York? What's that thing called?"


Yesterday at pickup AB's teacher pulled me aside and said she hasn't been listening well during the paperwork portion of their day. I was mortified. Barely three weeks in and the teacher had something negative to say. We've never gotten complaints about her behavior from Sunday school or MDO. I'm sure it's mostly an issue of her adjusting to school and learning what's expected, but either way we had a discussion about it. Right now she's coloring apology pictures for her teacher. She asked me to write the following story on the back.

"Once upon a time, preschool had a new way to do class. It was they decided to put wings on the school. Then what happened is they put seats inside the school. Every desk had a seat inside the flying school. At the back of the school they put a trunk. Inside the trunk was a little play area so you could get your exercise in. There were beds lined up and there was a little restaurant. If someone who went to the school lived far away, this is what they did- there were little bedrooms lined up just in case. And the next room was a bathroom. There was a pilots area at the front for one of the teachers to use. If you need to use the bathroom during the flight, there was a changer area for the little babies in diapers. I think that's probably the end. There's a potty inside the bathroom too.
By Annabelle"

I'm shocked they didn't tell me she was talking too much.

"Mama!!! Where's the cover for the orange? The orange marker. That's the one I'm using. What happened to the cover?"

I have a new love that I'm almost too embarrassed to admit. I've been listening to a car/mechanic podcast. It's so unlike me. I can appreciate an old car but I could not care less about modern cars. I'm terrible at explaining things to the mechanic. I don't care about horsepower or torque but give me Click and Clack the car guys and suddenly I'm all in. ALL IN. I cannot get enough. They're from Massachusetts and I remember hearing them back in the day but I have been reeled in hook, line, and sinker. I cannot explain my current fascination. Lucky for me, they have episodes dating back to 1987 so I have literally thousands of hours to look forward to. Here's what I have to look forward to on this weeks episode:
"This week on The Best of Car Talk, our all-time favorite neurological oddity: a Massachusetts man begins speaking with a French accent following an accident. Could a whack to the noggin make Tom and Ray speak like actual mechanics? Also, three tales of things that aren’t where they’re supposed to be. John’s dipstick keeps popping out, Crystie dropped a nail into her gas tank, and Dana’s friend has a piece of the Berlin Wall lodged in his dad’s BMW’s trunk. And, Julie “backed into a car that wasn’t there” and didn’t confess to her husband. Is it time to come clean? All this and more, this week on The Best of Car Talk."

It's fuel for the commutes back and forth to school. So far it hasn't exhausted me. If I get bored I can always switch gears and listen to other podcasts. 

Friday, August 24, 2018

it's friday friday friday

It's been a rollercoaster week for my pride. Last Saturday someone at the church paint day asked if I was in the youth group. I puffed out my feathers like a peacock that someone would think I was a youth when in reality I am on the brink of a new decade that starts with a th and ends with a irty. My hair was up (there is no other way to wear your hair when it's regularly 99* degrees) and I was pleased she didn't notice the patch of grayish white hair behind my ear. And it's not white because we were using white paint and I accidentally got some on my head. 

Yesterday a nurse was getting my information and said, "You're yawning a lot. Do you have a living will?" Excuse me? First of all, I was coughing not yawning. Second of all, I fail to see how yawning and a living will are related. Turns out she had said, "You're young but do you have a living will?" It would seem my ears are aging rapidly and I need to make an appointment with an audiologist asap.

I picked up a new Hallmark dvd at the library on Tuesday. I love Hallmark movies. The cheesier the better. I could not love Hallmark Christmas movies more. The dvd has three movies which is three times the romance and predictability. Christopher watched one with me because he owes me for all the action/James Bond/boring documentaries movies I've sat through over the years. Least you think he shares my joy of Hallmark, he does not. He sat there on his phone and made comments like, "That's so cheesy they should call this movie Swiss Cheese" and "It's obvious they're going to get married." I don't need type of negativity in my life. I want someone to share my tv viewing enthusiasm!

Speaking of tv viewing, we've been watching Mr. Roger's lately. He's so calm and pleasant to watch. He was talking about how sometimes there are things we don't understand but we can ask an adult to help us. He asked if the viewers had an adult they could ask. I thought AB would answer that it's her mother because I've taught her everything she knows including, but not limited to, how to use the potty and speak. Who do you think taught her about Monet and artists of the 1800's? Who do you think sings the continents song with her? Alas, she did not say me. She looked at Mr. Roger's and without missing a beat said, "I can ask my dad. He knows everything." 

There's the mothering self-esteem boost I was looking for! 

Sunday, August 19, 2018

sunday small chat

I have a goal to blog more but I don't have much to say so do I blog anyway to reach my goal? Yes. It's quantity over quality.

Let's break out the ol' bullet points.

* Annabelle is really enjoying school. Granted she's only been three times and the excitement could wear off, but she's still riding the high of her new backpack. I think it's been a bigger adjustment for me. I enjoy the alone time but I also like having her around. She has Tuesday and Thursday off so on Thursday we stayed in our pajamas late, played in the sandbox, went to Chickfila for lunch.
We tried some new hairstyles.
We even took a girls nap on the big bed. I knew she was exhausted but wouldn't want to sleep, so I told her we should pretend to be birds in a nest. A few minutes later she was snoring away. We paid for the two hour nap later that night when she didn't want to sleep but it was enjoyable while it lasted.

* I walked around the grocery store yesterday with a large piece of tape stuck to the bottom of my shorts. Neither Christopher nor AB said anything. It accented the paint smears on my legs. I'll be starting my fashion blog soon!

* A lady from church asked if I could help them repaint some of the walls in the nursery and Sunday school areas. I went with several other people all of whom were wearing the nicest paint clothes I've ever seen. Everyone showed up in crisp, clean clothes. I really questioned whether they thought they would be painting or walking around a fancy garden center. I was wearing capris smeared with four colors of paint and a shirt with a bleach stain. My old sneakers squeaked every time I took a step. I stood out like a sore thumb. The area we were painting had several long hallways and I took the walls near the people I know. It had too many corners and crevices but I made it my personal mission to do it well. I'm not great at many things but I am a good painter. I pride myself in excellent taping and straight lines. I might leave a few drips on the floor but that's what area rugs are for. I wanted to tape a sign to the wall so people would know which area I did. When we were at church this morning I made a beeline for my area. I wanted to see it in all it's finally-dry glory. Someone had the audacity to do another coat and smeared the white chair rail paint into the gray of the walls. I almost cried tears of sadness/rage. 

* Stylin Sesame even in her sleep.