Friday, August 19, 2016

I might be in the market for baby sleeping pills

We're currently in the middle of Nap Strike 2016. 
Not that I'm counting, but Sesame has only taken two naps in the last twelve days. I keep putting her down as I have for the last 30 months of her life but she won't sleep. She'll talk, sing, play and eventually whine and cry but not sleep. It's been taking her more than an hour to fall asleep at night. She's figured out my life doesn't stop when she's asleep and has developed a bad case of FOMO. She's also getting molars which always bothers her so I know her little system is all messed up. Even so, doesn't she know I need her to keep taking naps for the next 3 years?! I can't rest during the day when she's not sleeping because as soon as I lay down she starts yelling, ''Mama! I waked up! I waked up, mama!" NO YOU DIDN'T YOU NEVER WENT TO SLEEP. Between her not sleeping and my insomnia kicking in I've aged 60 years in the last two weeks.

Our friend from Bible study had a baby in June and we finally went over to see her. I was on track to leave the house on time but the muffins exploded, the shelf fell off the wall and Annabelle took the stuffing we used to a make a craft and spread it all over the living room. Just another 10 minutes in paradise. 
Sarah: I get to hold a baby!
Maddie: Where's my mom?
Annabelle: I refuse to look at my mother holding another child.
Speaking of babies, Annabelle is very into them right now. She's big into talking about how she used to live in my belly and what kind of crib she slept in while in Hotel Womb. She's always talking about her "yittle sister Kaferine" and telling me I'm "going to have a baby tomorrow." Between the two of us she's the only one interested in having a baby tomorrow.

For todays edition of trying to tire AB out for a nap we went to the zoo. I thought the weather was beautiful when we left the house. Thirty seven minutes later we were watching the elephants with sweat dripping down our backs. The zoo was approximately as hot as the surface of the sun. Of all the animals to be seen Annabelle likes the polar bear statue best. Every time she seems it she says, "so cuuute! I wuv da mama and da baby! Es so cuuute!" and I have to act like I'm seeing it for the first time.
We sat down to eat lunch near a group of Amish. If there's any people group I like to think I'm an expert on it's the Amish. I tried not to stare too much but seeing them made me so happy. One of the ladies was trying to get something from the vending machine but it wasn't working. Eventually two more women, a men and a little boy went over to help. I'd have offered my assistance but vending machines tend to eat my money and not give me anything in return. Besides, I was wearing shorts so I didn't want to draw attention to myself. By their standards I was basically dressed like a prostitute. 
We found a life size Farmer Brian from her Little People farm.
Our three hours on the surface of the sun didn't make her tired enough. She was in bed for two hours and started yelling that she wanted underwear. I went up to check and she was standing there buck naked. I guess she knows how to take her diaper off. Happy Friday!

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

wordy Wesnesday

It's been typical summer activities around here. Swimming, praying for the air conditioning to work, drinking from the house and all that.
Mom came to visit last week. She watched Annabelle while I set up my craft room and unpacked boxes that should have been unpacked 11 months ago. Whenever we have someone visit we beg give them the opportunity to babysit AB so we can go out. She's a talking, eating, walking four hour souvenir we love to hand out. We went out to eat at an Asian restaurant then to a paint night. Having just done a paint night with Joanna I felt very prepared and was possibly sitting on a high horse. 
Taken shortly after my shoe broke apart while I was trying to paint a masterpiece.
It's a real shame since I LOVED those shoes. 
Christopher took the B part of BYOB seriously.
It must have worked because look at his masterpiece on the right. Not a stroke out of place. He was the only male among 30+ females and got the most compliments. It looked like I used my hands as a pallet but he didn't have any paint on him. You can't really tell from this angle but I painted the weirdest looking grass. It looks like those ornamental glass balls people put in their gardens.
On Saturday we went blueberry picking. Some people picked berries off the bush, some stole them out of the bucket.
Pigtails mean double the opportunity for bows.
"Hi, yittle sweetheart. You so cute!"

In Olympic viewing news, it's not going well. The first two nights the antenna we just bought refused to work. The third night I got it to work if I squeezed the metal part a certain amount. It wasn't the most comfortable situation but at this point I can't be too picky. I saw a bunch of swimming which means I saw Michael Phelps flapping his arms around. Yawn. Last night I was so excited about finally seeing gymnastics that I accidentally broke the antenna. I snapped it right in two. 
Also.

Sunday, August 7, 2016

special shout out to Aaron Lochte

It's that time of year again! For the next two weeks I will be more into sports than I am at any other time. I never watch gymnastics or synchronized diving but now I think I'm an expert. It's only a matter of time before Bob Costas calls me down to Rio to take over his spot.

I pulled out all the patriotic stops for the opening ceremony party. I usually stick to food but this year I added a few extra things using Annabelle as an excuse. I made myself her a torch. 
She didn't understand what was going on but her enthusiasm was appreciated.
I also made us medals that fell apart before the Parade of Nations began. Glitter was falling like snow all over the living room. I'm not big on participation medals so I had everyone choice their own sport. I picked gymnastics and pizza eating (because of course), Mom picked pole vaulting and Christopher said he was the champion of the steeplechase and thumb wars. I gave AB the coveted spot as the three time gold medal recipient for diaper filling. 
I believe it was during the 2008 Olympics that I became anti Michael Phelps. I am not what you would call a Phelps Phan. He was in a final with another swimmer and I FIRMLY WITH EVERYTHING THAT IS WITHIN ME believe the other swimmer won. I don't care that the rest of the swimming world and the IOC say that Phelps won. It was very very close and I think my guy pulled it off. Every time I hear someone bring up Phelps name I bring up that race. I was passionately defending my guy a few weeks ago and I kept saying, "I don't care what Mike P says. AARON LOCHTE WON. Aaron was the real star." Then I realized his name is Ryan, not Aaron. All these years I've been calling him the wrong thing. It's the thought and fierce defending that count.

We don't have cable so we bought an antenna for the games. It was a very poor connection and between the static, the natives running around in loin cloths and Annabelle constantly asking "what going on? What's happening? Is that Nemo? What's that?" it was hard to get the whole picture. I thought the part about global warming and plants was a little unnecessary. You know what I don't want on a Friday night when I'm drinking Brazilian lemonade and hoping for a good show? A science lesson. 

Here's to all the athletes. May their dreams come true and their Zika vaccinations be strong. 

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

let's go ride a bike

If I've mentioned it once I've mentioned it 38 times. I don't enjoy teaching people to ride bikes. It's up there with pulling teeth and potty training. Maybe it's slightly better than potty training. In a GREAT show of motherly love, I bought Annabelle a bike at the consignment shop.

It didn't start off so well.
Once Sesame Pie was vertical she started taking passengers.
Honeypot was the first customer.
She's still learning how to pedal so I usually reserve bike for when Christopher is home. I bought the bike so I think all my bike riding responsibilities are complete. 

Friday, July 29, 2016

Currently, the July edition

Reading: A Different Beautiful by Courtney Westlake. It's the true story of a family whose daughter was born with a major skin condition and their journey through it. Confession: I signed up to be on the launch team for the book. I felt so professional! Pin a rose on my nose and call me an editor. Then I forgot to read the book for the month because of potty training. But I'm back on track now since potty training is a no-go.
Giddy Up, Eunice by Sophie Hudson. I've read Sophie's blog for years now and I'm the proud owner of all her books. They've all been good but this is by far the best. Get yourself to the bookstore and buy it now!
Columbine by Dave Cullen. For reasons I can't explain I've been into reading books about national tragedies. I cannot put this book down. It's not a summer beach read but it's memorizing.  

Dreaming about: my childhood crush. I dreampt I was stuck at home during a snowstorm and a van load of friends came to rescue me. I sat down in the only available seat which happened to be next to the love of my young life, Bernie. He put his arm around me and said, "I love you but you already know that." Thirteen year old Sarah waited her entire childhood to hear him say that. 


Buying: Dixie cups. I didn't realize until Thursday that the supplies for AB's parents day out program needed to be at the school on Wednesday. I thought I had until September when she starts. I made a mad dash to the dollar store and got everything except the Dixie cups. The list specifically said "ONLY 5oz cups" and the dollar store only had 9oz. Rite Aid had 3oz. I finally found them at a third store when I was just about to throw in the towel. The rule follower in me would have had a conniption if I brought in the wrong size.


In related PDO news, apparently I don't know the year my only child was born in. The doctor had to correct me. I'm already rocking this school stuff!

Freezing: Popsicles. We made them before lunch and Annabelle asked no less than 8 times in two minutes if they were done yet. There will be tears if they're not done when she gets up from her nap!

Baking: The Pioneer Woman's strawberry oatmeal bars. They are delicious and I want to eat the entire 9x12 pan. I told Christopher they're healthy because they have oats and fruit (in the jelly form). He said "You put a whole bowl of brown sugar and a whole bowl of butter in there. It's not healthy." Whatever. It has fruit so I'm still saying it's healthy. He has a terrible addiction to coke which he claims isn't bad for him "because it's diet coke" so I don't think he's a reputable source on what is or is not healthy.

Watching: Reruns of Minnie Mouse Bowtique. The only movie we've watched lately was Spotlight, the story of the Catholic church scandal. It wasn't a happy movie but it was very well done. See above where I mention tragedies. None of our shows are on so we're in a dry spell. I'm sure there's a direct connection between no shows and the impressive number of books I've gotten through lately.


Ok, fine. I've been watching The Bachelorette too. You know I have. It's like a sickness for which there is no cure. 


Recovering from: our big outing this morning. Normally we only do one exciting outing a day*. If we're being really ambitious we might do two. AB is perfectly fine with this low key life as she doesn't know anything different. Keeping expectations low since 2014! Today we went to an outdoor music class followed by the splash pad and the playground. Everything was in the same park so it wasn't hard to jump from one place to the other. We spent enough time splashing and swinging to ensure a good nap. All heck broke loose on the way house. She started crying because "THE WINDOW FELL ON MEEEEE! THE WINDOW FELLLLLL!" All that happened was she was playing with the screen and it brushed her arm. Drama City over here. The teen years will be so fun!  

* If we're being honest somedays we don't leave the house. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Oh Canada

Given the current political condition of things around here we decided to leave the country.
Technically we left for a mini family vacation but it was during convention season and I was hoping to get away from all things politics. I couldn't. AB asked to watch a show and when I turned on the tv I was suddenly staring at a larger than life Barack Obama. There is no escaping American politics. 

Our first stop was a farmers market. I wanted to take pictures but it was more crowded than Best Buy on Black Friday and I didn't want to be trampled to death on vacation so I didn't take out the camera. I'm always on the lookout for a farmers market and this one was perfect. It was fresh food heaven.


After a very unsuccessful nap we went to the aquarium. Everyone from the farmers market had migrated to the aquarium and at one point when we were going through the tunnel with the animals swimming above us I literally couldn't budge. Don't visit Toronto if you're trying to escape people.  

I had never been to another country and I had big plans of blogging from the hotel bed after AB went to sleep. I was even going to use a few French phrases. Thanks to my sweet child's insistence that she couldn't sleep in her pack n play because "the wall was falling into the floor" I did not one letter of blogging. No matter how many times I told her the floor and the wall were JUST FINE she cried and complained for over an hour until I brought her into our bed. She took up the entire king sized bed. I had 6'' and she was sprawled out like she owned the place.
No falling walls to be seen at this Westin Hotel.
The next morning we went to the zoo. Sesame her stylist likes to be appropriately dressed so she wore her elephant shirt. She modeled it for us by the warthog pen.
I highly recommend the zoo. Annabelle agrees. Her review of the tiger was "He so cute! Aww. He so soft, Mama! I want to touch him! 'ello, yittle tiger." 
A highlight of the zoo this year is their baby pandas. I love small furry animals as much as the next person but I wasn't about to wait 90 minutes to see some bears when it was already past nap time. We went to the zoo splash pad instead. It was the best splash pad I've ever seen and I consider myself a splash pad expert. It was worth the price of admission. Annabelle thought it was the best thing she had ever seen. 
Sesame has never been a big climber but lately she's become more adventuresome. She went down the water slide over and over. She ended up flipped over on her stomach every time but it was progress!

I put a great deal of scientific study in compiling this brief Toronto's Four Most Seen list. I expect Wikipedia will use me as a source. Toronto has no shortage of tattoos, cars, smokers, traffic and people with unnatural hair color. I could do without the hordes of people and all the smoke but hey. None of their hotel walls are sliding onto the floor!