Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Oh Canada

Given the current political condition of things around here we decided to leave the country.
Technically we left for a mini family vacation but it was during convention season and I was hoping to get away from all things politics. I couldn't. AB asked to watch a show and when I turned on the tv I was suddenly staring at a larger than life Barack Obama. There is no escaping American politics. 

Our first stop was a farmers market. I wanted to take pictures but it was more crowded than Best Buy on Black Friday and I didn't want to be trampled to death on vacation so I didn't take out the camera. I'm always on the lookout for a farmers market and this one was perfect. It was fresh food heaven.


After a very unsuccessful nap we went to the aquarium. Everyone from the farmers market had migrated to the aquarium and at one point when we were going through the tunnel with the animals swimming above us I literally couldn't budge. Don't visit Toronto if you're trying to escape people.  

I had never been to another country and I had big plans of blogging from the hotel bed after AB went to sleep. I was even going to use a few French phrases. Thanks to my sweet child's insistence that she couldn't sleep in her pack n play because "the wall was falling into the floor" I did not one letter of blogging. No matter how many times I told her the floor and the wall were JUST FINE she cried and complained for over an hour until I brought her into our bed. She took up the entire king sized bed. I had 6'' and she was sprawled out like she owned the place.
No falling walls to be seen at this Westin Hotel.
The next morning we went to the zoo. Sesame her stylist likes to be appropriately dressed so she wore her elephant shirt. She modeled it for us by the warthog pen.
I highly recommend the zoo. Annabelle agrees. Her review of the tiger was "He so cute! Aww. He so soft, Mama! I want to touch him! 'ello, yittle tiger." 
A highlight of the zoo this year is their baby pandas. I love small furry animals as much as the next person but I wasn't about to wait 90 minutes to see some bears when it was already past nap time. We went to the zoo splash pad instead. It was the best splash pad I've ever seen and I consider myself a splash pad expert. It was worth the price of admission. Annabelle thought it was the best thing she had ever seen. 
Sesame has never been a big climber but lately she's become more adventuresome. She went down the water slide over and over. She ended up flipped over on her stomach every time but it was progress!

I put a great deal of scientific study in compiling this brief Toronto's Four Most Seen list. I expect Wikipedia will use me as a source. Toronto has no shortage of tattoos, cars, smokers, traffic and people with unnatural hair color. I could do without the hordes of people and all the smoke but hey. None of their hotel walls are sliding onto the floor!

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

now I'm forced to look for a new gym

My unlikely career as a gym goer (athlete? gym rat? what's the proper name?) is still going. It's somewhat of a miracle. 

Personal trainer Sue showed me the equipment, gave me a chart showing what my heart rate should be on different machines and sent me on my way. She told me, "Try to get your heart up to about 165bpm. You should start slowing down when you feel like you're about to pass out." Good recommendation, Sue.

I missed a few weeks during Aunt Camp and Joanna's visit but last week I got down to business. I prefer going to the gym when it's mostly elderly people using the machines. I don't feel as much pressure to perform or act like I know what I'm doing when the lady using the machine before me is 73 years old. On my first day back we went late afternoon when all the muscle men and show off teen boys were working out. It was less than ideal but the only other option was to go running and I wanted no part of that. It least I can do the chest fly or hip flexor while sitting. Try not to be too impressed with my dedication. Sue was nowhere to be found so after a quick consultation with Christopher about which machine do what, I tried not to attract any attention waltzed myself over and sat down. I'm not even going to attempt to tell you which machine it was. I never remember the names. I just look at the picture on the side and hope for the best. I did a few neck stretches (I had to do something so I didn't look like an idiot sitting there), turned on my podcast, put the weight at 35lbs (the lowest the machine goes) and started pushing. 

Things were going fine until I wanted to turn up my podcast. I kept turning it up over and over but I still couldn't hear it any better. Then I realized my headphones weren't plugged in. LOUD AND CLEAR across the quiet room blared my podcast. "Moms are often uncomfortable with their bathing suit body after having a baby." And just like that the ENTIRE gym knew why I was there. Old man across the way wrinkled his face. Muscle Man Mike sitting next to me paused and looked at me out of the corner of his eye. I immediately began planning my funeral.

I went slinking over to another machine and who was on the other side? Muscle Man Mike lifting 573lbs. He looked at me. I looked at him. He adjusted his ear phones. I did a few neck stretches. MMM shook his tree trunk arms. I accidentally let go of the cable too fast and the weights crashed down on the stack. 

That's when I died. 

The obituary will say "She died of humiliation at her local YMCA. Muscle Man Mike was paid to be her pallbearer. He carried the coffin with one hand and his beloved heavy weights in the other."

Sunday, July 17, 2016

beach baby

If only I looked that good in a tutu bathing suit.
Maternity bathing suits for life.
"Smile for the picture!"
"Are you smiling?"
"Don't eat that! Didn't you see that dead fish with its insides on the outside that the lifeguard just got out of the water?!"
Annabelle: "Do I look like I care?" 
"I makin a zoo wif my sticks. There's an giraffe and a birfday cake and a santa hat."

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

next thing you know I'll be a mom volunteer

Let me tell you about my day.

First of all, my bra wouldn't stop squeaking. I know. I didn't think bras made noises either. It was a new bra and I guess it had to be broken in. Every time I'd move I'd have a soundtrack from under my shirt. It was very attractive.

Second, I had to be at the doctors at 8:30. I don't know why I made an appointment for so early. I remember making the appointment and agreeing to the time but not really thinking it through until after I hung up. 

Third, the doctor performed the test that every woman dreads. From under the sheet I heard her say, "You really don't like this, do you?" DOES ANYONE? DOES ANYONE LIKE THIS?

And finally, I signed Annabelle up for school. Technically it's a parents day out program and not a real school, but it's in a preschool and AB thinks it's real school. To send or not to send her, that was the question. I debated about it long and hard with myself and Christopher (and my poor friends who were the recipients of 15 million texts on the topic). I firmly think she's too young for school but this is basically a glorified play date and we could both use some time away from each other. I don't have a babysitter here yet so we spend all the minutes/24/7/365 together. I need a consistent break for my mental health and sanity.

I got emotional when the teacher was giving us a tour. I worked in a preschool for 6 years. I've always been the one to care for the kids but now I'm the one leaving my child. What if she needs me??? Today it's PDO, tomorrow she'll be graduating college. Sunrise, sunset and all that.
Then I thought about three hours all to myself every week and the mood really brightened.
Not to over exaggerate, but freedom makes me feel like this:
I just received this email from Miss Trish the principle.
Yes! Let's give two year olds a bunch of sharpies!
She needs to bring supplies? Isn't the check I gave them enough? 

Friday, July 8, 2016

toddler time

July has become the month Sesame decided to start acting like a toddler. In the grand scheme of toddlerhood she's still pretty mellow but she's always been very compliant so any veering off that path is noticeable. 

Within the last 48 hours she's cried for the following reasons:


+ She wanted to sit on the potty but for whatever reason she couldn't.

+ She had to sit on the potty when she didn't want to.
+ She had to get off the potty before her show on the ipad was done.

(A lot of our tears are related to potty training at the moment. Pray for us.)


+ I didn't let her watch shows during breakfast, after breakfast, during lunch and all afternoon.  


+ She found a tutu dress at the store that she wanted but we didn't get because it was too small. She was HEART BROKEN. You would have thought someone stole her Mr. Lion. She clutched the dress to her chest while crying, "Tutu skirt! I want to take it home, Mama! I WANT DA TUTU SKIRT!" throughout our entire visit. We were a joy for the other shoppers to be around.


Have I mentioned we're potty training? She's gone a few times when I put her on the regular toilet so I thought she might be ready for the next step. We bought a little Minnie Mouse potty. We got a pack of Minnie Mouse underwear. We have a bag of chocolate chips to give as a reward. We've had zero success. I've started eating the chocolate chips every time we have an unsuccessful potty trip or I have to clean up a mess. 

She's been very fussy so I had Christopher talk to her about it. "You can't always get what you want in life. Mama is very kind to you so you need to be thankful for what she does, even if you don't get something you want. I know it's sad, but you can't get all upset when something doesn't go your way. Ok?" She responded with, "Pepperoni, cheese and pasta." Good talk, Annabelle, good talk. Glad it really got through.


We went to her first swimming lesson on Wednesday. She did so well. Of the five kids in the class she was one of only two who didn't scream the entire time. I was so proud. Then we went to Children's Place and had the tutu dress incident so my pride was knocked down a notch.

She LOVES the playground. We go at least four times a week. The days she loves best are when we bring a picnic lunch. So far we've been able to leave the playground without tears but usually I have some sort of bribe to avoid a meltdown. There is no shame in my game.  (I have NO doubt we'll have the Playground Meltdown of 2016 any day now.)
One of her favorite conversations is asking if we're a cow, a pool, a cup of milk or whatever she can think of. She especially loves to ask if we're a dog. She was so tickled when I showed her the dog filter on snapchat. 
"Mama! I want somesing."
"What do you want?"
"Somesing.''
"Something like what?''
"Yep.''
"Tell me what it is that you want and I'll get it."
"I want somesign."

Repeat 12 times a day.

Good thing she's cute. Today she grabbed my face and said, "You so boo-iful." 

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

fun on the fourth

We had a relaxing long weekend. Grampy and Grammy came up to visit so Sesame wasn't lacking for attention. I bought a new bubble machine and it delighted her to no end.
We went to a parade the morning of the 4th. Small Fry wasn't sure what to think of the whole event.  
Then horses went by, she was waved to by multiple firemen and she got a lollypop so she decided this sitting in the sun listening to the sirens of a thousand fire trucks was all right. God bless America.
This was no Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. It was 50% fire and police cars, 40% campaigners (one of whom tried to win my vote by giving me a nail file with her name on it), and only 10% floats and bands. But look who made their way all the way from South Dakota! George, Thomas, Abe, and good old Teddy Roosevelt left Mount Rushmore to walk in the parade. 
Long live my freedom to dress my child in patriotic outfits.