may the next generation be better at spelling

Earlier this week I purchased a jean skirt. I was on the fence about it because I was worried it would be too modest and I don't want to head down that path. I wore long jean skirts and dresses many a time in my past and they weren't really outfits I'd like to repeat. Recently I've seen many a fashion bloggers very fashionably wearing a knee-length skirt so I bit the bullet and bought one. Everyone knows an outfit seen on a slim and trim instagram model will look exactly the same on a 30-year-old mom who forgot to go to zumba two times this week. 

ALL THAT TO SAY, the purchase lined up with the start of my homeschool mom career. Christopher has gotten a lot of milage to jokes about homeschool moms in jean jumpers with their fourteen children in matching clothes trailing behind. I almost canceled my purchase. (To be honest, I did buy it from a boutique owned by a Christian homeschooling family but that was just a coincidence.)

As a homeschooled child, I heard all the stereotypes and misconceptions. I heard surprise that I knew how to socialize and had friends who weren't homeschooled. Random people would quiz me about presidents and math facts. No one dares do the same to public schooled children! I was told how to raise my hand if I had something to say, as if I didn't know. I was asked if I, or someone I knew, was in spelling or geography bees. I wasnt bcauz Im bad at spelin, but I knew a boy who went to the finals of the National Spelling Bee. I can't count the number of times I heard, "I knew someone who was homeschooled and he was rude/a failure/could never get a real job." That can be said about students from every educational background. People asked if I spent the day doing whatever I wanted or if homeschooled kids were allowed into college. Everyone thought they were so clever to ask, "if you don't get all your schoolwork done, do you have homework?"

As a second-generation homeschooler, AB wants to set the record straight from the beginning. 

mishmash

* I'm not up on local news, so I was confused when I got to work on Friday night and the boss said for us to keep the door locked at all times and leave as soon as the class was done. We weren't to take time to clean up. She said maybe we should park our cars right in front of the studio so we wouldn't have to walk across the parking lot in the dark. I asked what on earth was happening and she said: "There's supposed to be a big gang shoot-out tonight so we have to take extra precautions." 

That is not what I expected her to say.

A handful of people downtown had been shot in recent days and rumor had it that a family member of one gang was killed and the other gang was blamed for it. Whether or not that's true, that was the story in our part of town and the police were on high alert. I'm no seasoned gang member, but it seems to me that a shoot-out wouldn't be a scheduled event. I highly doubt that one gang delivers an elegantly scripted invitation on decorative paper, but what do I know? 

This isn't my first go-round being near gun violence since my marriage. Several years ago I made a midnight escape to Jenn's house when someone was shot in our apartment complex and the shooter spent several days on the loose. It was during that time I learned the Clarksville 911 had business hours and wasn't a 24/7 operation. I need to stop living in crime areas. When I got home from the lock downed studio, all the doors to my house were unlocked, all the blinds were open, the lights were on and Christopher and AB were both asleep. They might as well have left an "open house, free for all" sign on the front door.


* When Elizabeth was visiting, we went to the Y for a zumba class. They changed the class times without updating the schedule, so when we got there we walked into a strength training class instead of zumba. We decided to stay because it seemed like a waste of workout clothes if we didn't. Who am I kidding. I wear workout clothes without working out 75% of the time. I have no upper body strength and I think that was obvious to everyone in the class. A few ladies helped us get the correct equipment and told Elizabeth which heavier weights she should start with. One of the ladies looked at my arms, up at my face and said, "You'd better stick with the lightest weights." Thank you, Brenda! What a confidence booster! She wasn't wrong, but nobody likes to be told their arms are too flabby to do much. The weight on both ends of my bar equaled a grand total of 5.5lbs. Try not to be too impressed. After 45 minutes, I had done more squats and half pushups than in the entirety of my life up to that point. My legs were jello and my arms weren't much better. I couldn't pick up my water bottle without shaking. For one exercise we had to go from laying on the bench to standing up and back to laying down while staying as straight as possible.  I got stuck while trying to stand up and my legs were waving in the air like a turtle stuck on it's back. Just call me Grace.

* For the last two years I attended a Bible study on and off. The leader disbanded the group this year and sent us all letters thanking us for being in the group. She said a few nice things about me then wrote, "...seeing glimpses of your occasional wit." OCCASIONAL wit? Frankly, I'm slightly offended. It's evident she hasn't read my Pulitzer winning, rarely updated, broken record blog chronicling potty training and trips to Walgreens.

* In the latest installment of Sarah's Rocky Relationship with Superhero Movies, we're watching the 558th Marvel DC Comics Star Trek Ghost Busters Avengers movie.

Me: What's happening? What's he doing?
Christopher: They predicted this would happen in the fifth movie.
Me: When did that come out?
Christopher: 2012.
Me: How am I supposed to remember what happened in a movie seven years ago? Who's that weird person? Why haven't we seen her before?
Christopher: We saw her in the Dr. Strange movie.
Me: I never saw that one.
Christopher: Yes you did.
Me: Why is Black Widow showing up again!? I still don't understand why she's in these movies.
Christopher: She's not a bad character so you don't have to dislike her so much.
Me: It's just a movie so it doesn't really matter. I don't really care what happens. Well for Pete's sake, why are they doing that? It would be a lot easier if they dealt with that guy two hours ago when they had the chance!
Christopher: They're going back in time to resurrect the stone.
Me: How do you know?
Christopher: Contextual clues and they hinted at this in the last Avengers movie.
Me: I didn't see any contextual clues. Why can't they put subtitles explaining what's happening? Disney has enough money for that.
Christopher: Disney doesn't make these movies. Did you read the link I sent you explaining all the storylines and characters?

It's always relaxing watching these movies. 

I hope if I stick to the strength class I'll be able to give Thor a run for his money. Here's hoping that hammer doesn't weigh more than 5.5lbs.

brief update from Moving Central

You may be surprised to learn that normal life does not stop just because you're moving and unpacking. Who knew? The family still needs to be fed and the child still needs to be entertained. These people are so high maintenance! Society looks down on AB fending for herself for several hours while I unpack glasses and my 14 boxes of stationery, so things haven't moved along quite as quickly as I wish, but we're getting there. 

Besides house things, we've been busy with swimming lessons, grocery shopping, picking up spilled beads, cleaning the fish tank because she who will remain nameless gave Martin VanBluey half a container of fish food, several trips to Home Depot and losing our minds. The day after we closed on the house we went to the library for a moon landing anniversary party. We made paper bag space helmets to wear while we soared around the North American Nebula.

AB had her first day at homeschool group. She's doing two and I forgot to sign her up for one so my career as homeschool mom is off to a great start! She's doing sign language, music, and math. 

Today we were playing bank and had the following conversation:

Me: If there are 100 pennies in one dollar, how many pennies are in two dollars?
AB: Um. Do you want a nickel?
Me: 1 plus 1 equals what?
AB: 2!

Me: So 100 plus 100 equals what?
AB: Hmm. How 'bout...….2? 2! I need more quarters.  (She's finally allowed to play with money after the Quarter Swallowing Incident of 2018. I watch like a hawk the entire time.)

Good luck to Kelley the math teacher!

The sellers left their hot tub. It's been in three states and Cuba so it's a very well-traveled hot tub. Annabelle will jump in the deep end of the pool without a lifejacket but she insists on wearing a lifejacket in the hot tub. She likes to pretend she's a baby sea turtle or baby lobster and I'm the mom so it's a real stretch of the imagination for me. 

Not to be left out of the goings-on, L&L insist on showing up every time there's an open can of paint. 

No matter how many times I remove them from the room they always manage to sneak their way back in. If I had a quarter for every time I've said, "Linus George, you leave that alone! Lucille Barbara, I told you not to stick your nose there!" I could pay for a professional painter. I've been so worried about them tracking paint but I'm the one who made the worst paint stain. I had a quarter-sized circle on dark green paint on a paint chip while I painted grass on the mural in Sesame's room. I put it on a shelf while I got AB a snack and when I came back, the fan had blown it onto the floor with the paint side down. Naturally, she has a light rug in her room. I've used 5 products but cannot get it off. All I did was make the stain MUCH worse. An area rug wasn't in my original decor plans but it is now! 

Yesterday Annabelle said, "Mama is the most important thing to me." She requires a lot of attention and is always needing a listening ear to discuss tsumtsums or her latest idea for pillow forts, but I think I'll keep her around for a while longer.

first report from the red brick house

tap tap 

Is this thing on?

In case you're wondering how few brain cells I have left, I told Christopher we needed to put up the "hag flanger." I was trying to say we needed to put the flag up and make our house more patriotic. 

This move has been A LOT. I expected it to go smoothly given the number of times we've moved, the fact that we were doing an in-town move, and the two-week overlap between getting in the new house but still having the old house. Oh, how the overly confident movers fall. The house wasn't 100% set in stone until the week before the move so we hadn't packed everything. The landlord decided moving week was the time to send workers over to do work we requested done in October. Linus got out when the roofers came by to give an estimate immediately after I said they were welcome to come in, but the cats couldn't get out. Linus bolted for freedom the minute the door opened and the guys stood there watching me chase him down and never offered to help. AB was well behaved for the most part, but it's not realistic to expect her to take endless drives back and forth between the houses day after day when most of her entertainment was packed up. Most of my mom friends work so I had very few options for childcare. It was so hard to do all the packing, keep two houses semi-organized and be a mom. We had to repaint rooms since the landlords suddenly decided they cared about how the house looked. We have so much more stuff than I expected. I thought I had gotten rid of a good amount, but there's nothing like seeing all your belongings strewn about and piled in boxes to make you consider becoming a minimalist. 

On the day of the closing, we did a final walkthrough of the house. The sellers were here which was both nice and very awkward. It was so weird to be in their current home/our future home at the same time. They were so nice and the lady kept talking about how much she loved the house. She kept tearing up and I all but apologized for taking it away from her. She had tears when she gave me the keys and I offered to let her keep one as a keepsake. I told her I understood how she felt because I ADORED our New York home and was offended anyone else was living there. I kept saying we'll take good care of her house. By the time we got to the office to sign the papers, she was full out crying. It was sweet knowing we were moving into a home that had so many wonderful memories for another family.

I am in love with the living room windows.

We hired a moving company to move the refrigerator and large furniture. The move got off to a slow start because boss Jazzy's car died. All five men gathered around the hood of the car to diagnose the problem. I moved my car so they could jump it and said I'd leave the keys in the ignition so they could turn the car on or off as needed. One of the guys looked at me like a professor sharing great knowledge and said, "We need your car on to jump his car." You don't say. I didn't go to automotive school but I do know that much. The last thing they put in the moving truck was AB's playhouse. They were all gathered in one corner so I asked what the problem was, thinking maybe a nail was sticking out. Nope. It was an unidentifiable bug and they didn't want to go near it. I marched myself over there and swatted the bug off. Once again, a woman saved the day. No little black bug should be holding up production. When we got to the new house after lunch, it was over 100 degrees. I cannot tell you the number of times I apologized to the movers for having to move our stuff in the heat. Did they want a drink? Did they want me to set up a fan? I'm so sorry the sun is so hot. If I could, I'd take the humidity away for all our sakes. I should have stopped apologizing and started remembering that we were paying them good money.

Come to find out, the heat wasn't all the fault of the sun. The air conditioner had stopped working. It's a high tech Nest thermostat situation and it kept flashing E73. My brief research said to check the drip pan (didn't know where that was), restart the HVAC fuse (didn't know where that was) and check the breaker box (didn't know where that was). The website said several times that "the thermostats tend to overheat and fail in the summer." WHY WOULD AN AC DEVICE TEND TO OVERHEAT? They have literally one job and they can't do it without overheating? I was not happy. Jazzy's guys helped me find the various breakers and we got it working for a few hours. It stopped again later than night and we called the HVAC man who charged out the wazoo because it was after hours. We couldn't get it repaired for two more days. Welcome to homeownership!

I'm so glad Annabelle offered to help me unpack instead of lounging on the new couch and watching a show.

After nearly two weeks juggling both houses, we did the final walkthrough at the old house. I told Christopher he needed to do it alone so I didn't say something snarky or unkind to the landlord. She's a nice person, but a terrible landlord. This town is small enough I knew I might run into her at any point and I don't want negative words on my conscience. Turns out she goes to the same church as us so now I'm very glad I didn't go. I saw her daughters on Sunday. The walkthrough was on a Wednesday and painters were going in the next day to paint over the mold on several ceilings so she could show it on Friday. I could have said A LOT about that. I wanted to leave a hidden letter for future owners telling them to run for their lives. 

Things are still in a state of upheaval here, but from the very first night, it has felt so much more like home than the old house ever did. There's a beautiful fenced in yard for Sesame to play in. The neighbors brought us muffins (I was sure they'd see our semi-hoarder status garage and ignore us forever) and we have a fireplace and mantle to decorate. The ac is back on so I think this place will work out just fine.