nine on the twenty-ninth

Today is our 9th anniversary.

We had planned on having a lovely supper with our anniversary twins William and Kate at their humble castle but the virus disrupted all our plans. We were all looking forward to seeing other adults and talking to someone besides our children, but we'll try again next year.

I tried coming up with nine new things we did or experienced this year but I could only think of four. Four is also the number of pictures we took together this year. The number gets lower every year despite my best efforts to take more.

1. We bought a house. Several times a week I think how much I love this house and I can't believe it's ours. The locale is not ideal or one we'd pick, but I love the house. It's been so fun to create a life in a home we own.

2. It hasn't been the best of years as far as events in our personal life. We've had sicknesses and drama and frogs and our first miscarriages. 

Ignore the bug eye sunglasses.
I forgot my sunglasses on the boat when we went on an excursion so I got these at a little shop.
They're so big they need their own sunglasses.

3. We're quarantining together for the first and PLEASE GOD LET IT BE THE LAST TIME. He's still working so we haven't had the level of togetherness many couples have, but I wouldn't say this virus has brought out the best in us. The other night I moved to the other couch because he swallowed his soda too loud. It was a low point. But we've been consistent with playing more family games in the last several weeks and I hope we continue it if we're ever free to resume a normal life. We started a new Saturday tradition of getting coffee from the drive thru then going for a walk around the pond. We've always been fans of family walks but having a designated time and place has made it a little more fun.

4. This is a real stretch when it comes to firsts but like I said, I'm really scraping the bottom of this barrel. We finally got a white comforter. I had wanted one for years but never gotten one because...it's white. White shows stains like no other. But I found it on sale at TJMaxx then found the blue bird pillow on sale at Pier 1. It was a $28 pillow I got for $3.28 so I basically made money on the purchase. The comforter has gotten dirty because we have cats and a child who constantly has dirt on her somewhere, but I love it.

Things worth noting-

Christopher's sewing needle phobia has not improved since last year. Even though I have accidentally lost several needles, AND FOUND THEM ALL, he has no confidence in me when I get out my cross-stitch. Just this Sunday I couldn't find my needle so I was shaking out all the blankets and pillows on the couch. AB asked what I was doing so I whispered, "I dropped my needle but don't tell Dad." Just then Christopher walked by, saw the blanket laid out, and asked what was happening. I told him not to worry about it. I had it under control! But blabber mouth Sesame called out, "She lost her needle again!!" I cannot trust her to keep my deepest secrets. Turns out the needle was exactly where I had stuck it in the couch for safe keeping so it all turned out fine. I ALWAYS FIND THEM.

When Christopher has trouble screwing the toilet paper holder into the wall, he abandons the screws and superglues that sucker to the wall. 

He refills my water bottle with large amounts of ice and fresh water every night. For some reason, I do not like refilling my water bottle. I don't know if it's the untwisting the lid or what but I don't like doing it. I'll ask my therapist about it next time I see her.

When I was sick after the cruise I asked him to get some sudafed from Walgreens. He bought back five different medications for me to try. If I ask him to pick up cough drops on the way home from work he'll arrive with four different brands so I have options. 

I hope AB marries someone who will refill her water bottle. They're the best kind. 

school days

Everyone (by that I mean no one) has been asking how homeschooling is going. People are clammering to buy my soon to be released how-to book entitled Starting Strong on Monday but Phoning it in by Thursday, How to Homeschool in 386 Steps will be published. 

Just kidding! It's more like 586 steps.

I spent HOURS UPON HOURS in July making a daily schedule. My goal was to have everything written out in great detail so if I got pregnant and was too sick to teach, it would be easy for someone else to pick up the load and know what to do. My color-coded, alphabetical order loving self was so proud of my handiwork. It got lost in the move and I could never recreate it to its former glory. Then I got pregnant and miscarried which eliminated the original need for such a detailed schedule so I went to a basic schedule. We do math and handwriting first because any subject with large amounts of writing are a trial for both of us.  It's not that she can't write, it's that she likes to form the letters her own way. Handwriting usually goes like this:

Me: Pay attention to which letters go to the sky (the top line) and which go underground (the bottom line). Some only go to the top of the house (the middle line). Do you see what I'm talking about?
Sesame: Yep. Can I have a snack?

Me: No. You finished breakfast half an hour ago. Write the letters.

Sesame: does some questionable lettering

Me: What is going on here? The top line is right here.
Sesame: I thought you meant this top line.

Me: No, this top line. The one that's above the line you're writing on.

Sesame: Whoops! Sorry, Mom! I guess I'm not really paying attention. I thought this was the top line.
Me: What's happening now? K has straight lines.
Sesame: I thought it would look good if I added some swirls.
Me: Add swirls on your own time. Start at the top and do it the way I said.
Sesame: Hi, Lulu! What are you doing? Do you wanna play?

Me: Lucy, it's not playtime. Get off the table. Annabelle, do the K. Why is it going underground?! K's don't go underground! 

Despite the very bumpy handwriting road, we've made some progress this year. She's gotten to the point in reading and writing where she'll sound words out and write pages of notes that are nearly impossible to read but so sweet. Our anniversary is coming up and she made this helpful gift chart for Christopher. No frogs. No snakes. Yes cats. She knows me so well.

The other day she lost the privilege of listening to her audiobook. She said she was bored so I told her to find something to do. She decided to write Classical Conversations Latin words. 

We spend the rest of the morning and early afternoon doing a combination of grammar, geography, science, reading, history and art. Reading hasn't fully clicked in her brain yet, but it's getting better. Her new thing is to read the nametags of cashiers and baggers at the store then tell me their names in the car. It's nice to know that all my hours of sounding out letters are sinking in.

I make as much of the learning as hands-on as I can. We do math and writing/spelling with chalk. We use acorns and pinecones for addition and subtraction.

AB has NO issues with drawing and art. She colors while eating breakfast all the way to drawing pictures when I read a story at night. She puts all her papers in a green basket and by the end of every week, we have to weed through because the pictures are overflowing. We've studied specific pieces by various artists then painted the same piece using acrylics or watercolor. She then paints her own landscape/still life/whatnot in their style. These are a Picasso head, Monet waterlilies under a bridge, and landscape.

For history, we read the American Girl looks and learn what was happening in the United States during that period. I found a website that has lapbooks for each character so we make those as well. So far we've read the Felicity, Kirsten, and Josefina books and next week we'll start Samantha. 

She also does swimming, piano, and ballet lessons all of which are currently suspended. My teacher's paycheck is also currently suspended but I have access to the student's father's bank account so it should all even out.

Quarantine Diaries, Vol. 2

It looks like we'll have to move again which is a shame because I love our house.

I saw two frogs in my yard.

The first one was on my car. I was going to get Christopher to deal with it but the car windows were open and I was worried the frog would hop into the car while I was finding him. Besides, I am woman hear me roar and all that. I swatted it off with a piece of mail while gagging. A few days later I went out to water the strawberry plants. I aimed the hose into the watering can and came face to face with a frog. I screamed and kicked the watering can. So much for "hear me roar." More like "hear me scream like a great lady who has seen a mouse." At the same time, something fell out of the tree above me and landed on my head. It cannot be confirmed, but I assume it was another frog.  I blasted the water into the can for a good 30 seconds to get the frog out before realizing that the frog wasn't even in it. He was sitting on the outside watching me like a lump on a log. I blasted him again and again while he lazily hopped around the yard. Did I blast him for longer than necessary? Yes. Would I have been upset if I drowned him? No. 

If anyone knows of a reptile free home please let me know. Until we find a suitable spot, I will be living with my family in sanitized boxes at the end of the driveway.

Speaking of sanitation, I found a random container of Clorox wipes and several small bottles of hand sanitizer in the closet. Being a semi hoarder prepared with multiple supplies has paid off. I also ended up with four digital thermometers which I will admit is a bit excessive, but I'll be ready when the first three die!

Our new corona routine is pretty well established. It's not all that different from our BC (Before Coronavirus) routine but we've made a few changes. Going for a walk before we start school has helped us get through the morning more smoothly. I didn't realize how much I relied on the alone time during AB's ballet and swimming lessons, but now that I don't have it I really miss it. I don't know why but it seems like much more than two hours when we're trying to fill the time at home. I haven't been feeling well for most of this pandemic which adds a layer of difficulty but we're getting by. The mental part has gotten to me so I have to make a real effort to be more patient with Annabelle. I know this upheaval affects her too so I'm trying to find ways for her to get out of the house more. Last Friday we went to the farm to pick strawberries. We were so excited to see somewhere new. We were like prisoners seeing the sun for the first time in eight years. Appropriate distance was maintained by all and while we barely came into contact with anyone, it was nice to see other people across the field.

Annabelle kept saying, "I had so much fun picking strawberries and seeing the goats. This is a good Mama Sesame date."

We went really wild and ran into the grocery store after berry picking. AB has to either fold her hands or I put a wipe on the cart and she puts her hand on that.  Every time I go to the store it looks different. I didn't know the aisles had been changed to one-way so I kept going the wrong way. There are more tape squares on the floor showing everyone where to stand. A cashier kept yelling, "Social distance! Social distance!" which was unnecessary. No one in the checkout line was doing the ''wrong'' thing. Give us the information and trust us all to stand in the right blue square. She made my very small contrary streak come out. It's interesting/sad to see what the new hot items are. I usually buy two soaps so I have a backup (see above where I discuss my desire to be prepared) but this week the sign said I was only allowed to buy one. 

We've been getting any craft supplies from Michael's curbside pickup but I needed to run in for something. The manager was standing at the locked door and only unlocking it to let customers out and counting everyone who wanted to get in. She only let in ten people at a time and we had a 15-minute time limit. It made me really sad. 

Lucy is dealing with this new life in the right way. Let's all take naps until this is over. 

Corona Easter

Like everyone else across the world, we celebrated Easter from our couch. Quite honestly, I was not in a celebratory mood. I told Christopher on Saturday that I wanted to cancel Easter all together but that wouldn't have been fair to AB. I knew Easter was coming but I thought it was later in the month so I hadn't bought anything to put in Easter eggs. On Saturday a friend dropped off a plant for me, a bag of chocolates and a few little activities for Annabelle. One of the activities was a Harry Potter book with little Lego character. Before I gave her the book I took the Lego off and hid it in my purse. We put one lego piece in each of the first eggs and a chocolate egg in the others. Jesus may have saved the world but AB's 6-year-old friend saved her easter egg gifts. I was prepared for her easter basket. I picked up some outdoor play dishes from Target that say let's play in my mud kitchen and two magic glow in the dark pens. 

This flower cross was outside our church. Please refer back to when
I said I forgot about Easter so we did not contribute any flowers.  

I asked that everyone dress up as if we were going to church. Just because we weren't going anywhere didn't mean we should dress like hobos. Plus there's only a limited number of years left where Annabelle will willingly wear smocked dresses so I need to milk it for all it's worth. There was a small part of me that was sad the old ladies at church couldn't see how cute she looked but we've all had to give up something and I can give up compliments for a few weeks longer. 

Christopher hid the eggs as usual and as usual Sesame Pie missed the most obvious ones. 

We did a video chat with several of my relatives across six states and three time zones. It was a feat of modern technology that we were all together. We had 14 different screens to keep track of and the connections were going in and out so it was a lot of talking over each other, but that made it seem like holidays back home.

Last, but certainly not least, Annabelle and I revealed the latest trick we pulled on Christopher. We're always trying to trick him and it usually looks like Annabelle giving him room temperature coke or hiding his socks. I appreciate her enthusiasm but we needed to up the game a bit. A few weeks ago we saw a car with huge eyelashes attached to the headlights. We giggled about how funny it would be to put eyelashes on Christopher's car and thus was born our next trick. I didn't buy the 3d lashes because they were over $30 and we have a small trick budget. I got eyelash decals instead which did not pack the same punch but I didn't want to waste the $8.97 I paid. I put them on last Sunday and all week AB and I had conversations about whether or not he saw them. To be fair they are very small and subtle, but I guarantee you I'd have noticed them on my car within the first 36 hours. Part of me wanted to see how many weeks we could make it but we decided to tell him on after Easter dinner.

We each stood on one side of the light and made comments like "How's your car?" "Do you need a car wash?" He noticed right away and we could not stop laughing. "We got him, Mama! We got him!" He said. "I've been going to Home Depot and feeling manly all week and this whole time I had eyelashes on my car?!" 

I don't want to repeat a quarantined Easter but pranking Christopher seems like a good tradition to keep alive.

Tune in when I sing for Jimmy Fallon

I think we can all agree that we're living in less than ideal times. It's only a matter of weeks before I write a list of coronavirus grievances, but today I'm looking on the bright side of our current life.


+ Jimmy Fallon's Tonight Show: At Home Edition. These episodes never fail to make me smile. His wife seems sweet and his girls are so fun to watch. His house is a cross between a treehouse and an old persons house which is not at all what I pictured. JF, if you're reading this I have some questions about your decor. Have your people send my people an email.

+ The memes have been spectacular.

+ John Krasinski's Some Good News show.  This is PERFECT when everything seems like it's falling apart and you need a little pick me up. Everything he shows are positives coming from the virus and I love it. Years ago I tried to start a newspaper with the same theme called The Sunshine Times. It never took off because no one besides my mother subscribed. I'm sure the fact that the printer never worked was not a factor.

+ The royal family released a video of George, Charlotte and Louis clapping for health care workers. I watched it several times and showed Christopher. I should know better than to discuss the royals with him but I try anyway. Hope springs eternal. He glanced at it and said, "It's just a video of kids clapping, right? Am I missing something?" This is who I have to be quarantined with! He has no appreciation for the finer things in life.

+ The Getty Art Museum put out a challenge to recreate famous paintings using items from around the house. We're going to pick some paintings to do this week.

+ We've been able to take so many walks. We're getting stir crazy so as COO of this house I instated morning walks before school as well as our evening walk with Christopher. We're in the itty bitty sweet spot that is lovely weather before the gnats and stupid heat hit. Last year I said many a prayer asking God to take care of the gnat problem and there were less gnats. Had I known about the dumpster fire this year would be I would have started the 2020 gnat prayers on January 1st.

+ I love seeing how people are banding together to help each other and pass the time. Several neighborhoods have put bears in their windows/yards for kids to find on a ''bear hunt." We put two in our windows and this week we're going to put easter egg pictures up. 

+ Engineers in Italy figured out how to make ventilators using 3D printers and snorkel masks. God bless the Italians.

+ If nothing else, I can now spell quarantine without spellcheck.

+ Finally, I spent half the night and most of the morning writing a song that I believe will be topping the charts in no time. It is an ode to our current life.

There is a Virus

There is a virus thats attacked the world

And covid is its name

C-O-V-I-D

C-O-V-I-D

C-O-V-I-D 

and covid is its name.

The doctors office needs supplies

And everyone wants masks

M-A-S-K-S

M-A-S-K-S

M-A-S-K-S
And everyone wants masks.

The stores are out of soap and TP
Because the people are going crazy

C-R-A-Z-Y
C-R-A-Z-Y
C-R-A-Z-Y

All the people are going crazy

We can't see family, friends or neighbors
So we are all alone

A-L-O-N-E

A-L-O-N-E

A-L-O-N-E

So we are all alone

We stay at home and play with chalk

Lots and lots of chalk

C-H-A-L-K

C-H-A-L-K

C-H-A-L-K

Lots and lots of chalk

We go for walks in the morning and at noon

And then again at night

W-A-L-K-S

W-A-L-K-S
W-A-L-K-S

And then again at night

No one knows how long it will last

It could be months or years

Y-E-A-R-S
Y-E-A-R-S
Y-E-A-R-S

It could be months or years

So grab a beverage and a snack

Cause we'll be here a while

S-N-A-C-K
S-N-A-C-K
S-N-A-C-K

Cause we'll be here a while

© 2020 Quarantine Records

He who shall not be named but whose name rhymes with Shmistopher said it "has a lot of syllables." Being a hit composer is hard. There's so much negativity.  

party like you're housebound

It was much easier to take AB's birthday photos on her second birthday. All I had to do was fake sneeze and she'd burst out laughing. This year she insisted her leggings matched her dress (they didn't) and she intentionally let go of the blue balloon and we never got it back.

On birthday eve Christopher inflated somewhere around 38 balloons. We take birthday balloons very seriously around here. I'm so happy we have a mantle to decorate again. Hanging the birthday banner from the tv stand isn't nearly as festive. 

We had a very low-key day. Annabelle opened one of her gifts in the morning (she opened the rest at night) so she'd have a new thing to play with during the day. I baked the cakes the night before so all I had to do was make the frosting and cake toppers the day of. Cake decorating is 1000% less stressful when I'm not worried about all the rooms being spotless for guests who are arriving in 3 hours. Normally I'm a chicken with its head cut off on birthday party day but I enjoyed the slower pace. The downside is no one was here to appreciate what I'm ranking the best birthday cake I've ever made. 

Sesame wanted a Harry Potter themed birthday which is NOT a theme I ever would have picked. I wasn't allowed to read the books growing up and I would have been fine if she never read them, but Christopher enjoys them and the two of them have been listening to the books together. He's able to explain and discuss questionable parts as they go. She won't be able to listen to anything beyond the first three books for several years which means she's listened to those three at least 5 times since January. By virtue of living in the same home, I too have listened to the first books 5 times. She has spent so much time telling me the rules of quidditch, the history of this character and asking questions about how such and such potion is made. I've been through a similar Harry Potter indoctrination before. We got married the same year the last Harry Potter movie came out and Christopher thought I needed an HP movie marathon to see the previous seven movies. It was SO MUCH Harry Potter. Now nine years into our marriage I'd say peace out, I'm going to watch A Walk to Remember so you're on your own, but newlywed Sarah was very obliging. 

AB asked that her birthday cake have a letter from her favorite characters on it. I printed a birthday letter signed by several characters, colored it with a tea bag and crumpled it to give some texture. I made the little quidditch ball (sphere? playing piece? I haven't been paying much attention) with playdough that morning and used a black chopstick for a wand. I was dealing with health issues that week and didn't have the energy to create a personalized wand.

We were able to get both sets of grandparents, all aunts and uncles and a few cousins together to sing happy birthday to her at the same time. It made me so happy. So few family members have been able to attend her birthday parties because of distance and it meant a lot that they did this for us. 

They couldn't get a good view of the cake but they didn't require me to clean the bathrooms either. All in all they were perfect party guests.