My Day According to Me.

Next month I'll be two years old. I wanted to take this opportunity to write my final essay as a one year old. I have high hopes that I will be even more prolific in the year to come.

7:19- I was up late last night but I didn't sleep in. Mom was hoping I would but I didn't.
7:28- "Mama? Mama? You comin', Mama?" Finally she removes me from my crib. I tell her about spilling my water last night and Daddy changing my sheets. I dump out my bows all over the floor.
8:02- I eat Cheerios and milk. It's the breakfast of champions and toddlers everywhere.
8:19- I spill the milk from my bowl. It might have been an accident or it might have been intentional. The verdict is still out.
8:32- I ask to color. I make a sticker picture and a draw bunch of stripes. I ask Mom to draw a giraffe and pajamas.
8:59- I tell Mom I need the potty. Normally I go in my diaper then announce I need to be changed but I like to switch it up every now and then. I got two chocolate chips as a reward.
9:10- I'm done with coloring. I move to emptying the diaper basket and saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" and "Happy birthday!"
9:39- I lose interest in the diapers and ask for a snack. I don't get one. Mama reads me stories and I act like I have no idea how the story goes. I get tired of stories and make a pizza out of a plastic cover.
10:00- We go upstairs to get dressed for the day. I try on Mom's pajama shirt. I get dressed then lay in my bed with Mr. Lion for a few minutes.

10:40- Outta my crib and in the kitchen making muffins! I eat half the blueberries to reward myself for all my hard work.

10:50 to 11:38- Generally very bored with my life. I don't want to play with my toys or the napkins I took from the cupboard. Mom says she's "doing work" on the computer. Looks like she's watching a movie to me.
11:50- Lunch time! Finally! I watch kids sing songs about Jesus while I eat.
12:30- The landlord's father comes over to look at the leak in the garage roof. I'm excited to see him so I do my normal thing which is stare and not say anything. 
1:00- After he leaves Mom reads to me and I pretend to take a nap on the coffee table. Mama pretends to nap on the couch. She took the pretending too far because I was halfway of the stairs before she opened her eyes and noticed.
1:30- Nap time. When we pray before I go in my crib, Mom requests that I'll nap until 4:30. LOL.
3:15- I'M AWAKE, MAMA! MAMA??!! I have to wait years for her to come get me.
3:28- She comes up but instead of getting me out she climbs in the crib with me. We talk about Mr. Lion and how he needs mittens.
3:40- Snack time! I eat three baby oranges while watching part of Frozen.
4:30- I want another snack. I get a box of raisins.
4:35 to 5:30. I'm officially a resident of Bored City, USA. Mom comes to play and we bounce on my inflatable horse. We play with Baby Belle and sing songs. I keep asking for Daddy.
6:00- Daddy comes home and instead of going to him I immediately start crying. Mom rolled her eyes. She thought I didn't see but I did. Dad entertains me by showing my videos of penguins and ducks.
6:20- FINALLY it's time to eat. I've been waiting for this moment for hours.
7:00- Mom says she has more "work" to do so she abandons me. I hang out with Dad for a while.
7:30- Time for my jammies and bedtime story. I get my eye drops and don't even cry. Mom covers me up with a red blanket. It's like she doesn't even know me. I need my green blanket from Memere!
8:11- I'm crying this under cover of darkness in my crib. I think I'll ask for another snack.

church hoppers

Through our years of married life we've visited more than our fair share of churches.

The first time we visit churches together was our first go-round in New York right after we got married. Back in the day we would both be dressed and ready to go well before the appointed church departure time. Now I'm throwing pillows at Christopher's head when he's still laying in bed 15 minutes before we need to leave.

But that's neither here nor there.

That particular part of New York has many many small churches. Most of them were attended by people over the age 65. Needless to say, as a young couple we didn't exactly fit in. One church with all of 20 attendees had us stand up so the whole congregation could see us. As if we didn't stand out enough just by being there. Another church gifted us with chocolate and a coffee mug with the creepiest picture of Jesus you've ever seen. Nothing says ''we hope you'll join us again!" like giving guests a picture of Jesus looking like a monster who'd hide in a child's closet. Another church gave me the memorial flowers from a funeral the day before. How sweet. Upon hearing we just got married, an elderly woman invited us over her house so she could give us some silverware. She was tired of waiting for her children to pick it up and apparently we looked like people who wanted a new cutlery set.

Things were only slightly better when we got to Fort Lee. When we tried the chapel on post, they gave Christopher a microphone so he could give the whole congregation a brief introduction. We didn't not select that as our church home. We ended up at a church where, again, the median age was 60. Almost everyone is the Sunday school class we were put in had grandchildren. Below is yet another example of why I choose not to open my mouth in public situations.

George (the SS teacher): "So Sarah, you're a military wife, right?"
Me: "Yes."
George: "And sometimes Christopher goes out on training or to the field and you're left at home?"
Me: "Yes." 
George: "What do you do when Christopher's not at home?"
Me: (in my head- He really wants to know what I do? What am I supposed to say? I don't want to say that I read, eat, paint my nails, eat snacks, watch movies. Maybe I should say I planted a garden one time. Maybe grocery shopping is the right answer. Why does he want to know what I do??) "Ummm..."
George: "You hold down the fort, don't you? You make sure everything runs smoothly."
Me: "Oh. OH. Yes. That's right. That's what I do."

You can just call me eloquent. That was also the day the straps on my dress kept falling down so you can also call me full of grace.

Our Tennessee church experience was much better. We loved it so much. I cried a little on our last day there. Now we're back to the church hunt rodeo. We've visited so many but none have felt right. There was the church where Annabelle wouldn't sit still with us but she refused to go in the nursery. We snuck out of the building like sinners before the sermon even started. There was the church where AB announced during a quiet moment that she had pooped. There was the church that was so chaotic and unorganized I almost lost my mind. I wanted to grab the microphone and shout, "HOW HARD IS IT TO ALL STAND UP AND SIT DOWN AT THE SAME TIME? You people look like kangaroos in the desert." Not one of my more spiritual moments. A friend at MOPS invited us to her church so we've been there the last few weeks. The music isn't really our jam but overall it's not bad. The first week a lady on stage was playing 12 different instruments she seemed to have borrowed from the toddler Sunday school. One of the pastors was wearing jeans and sneakers with a button down shirt, vest and tie. Business of the top, party on the bottom. 

We'll be back at it tomorrow. May the Lord grant us success.

Friday Funday

Within the last 48 hours the following happened:

+ I knocked over a display of fabric at Joann's.
+ I tried to exit through the enter door but it wouldn't open so I stood there like an idiot staring at it and wondering what was wrong.
+ The washing machine stopped draining the water after it's run
+ The light bulb in the living room lamp burnt out and all I had to replace it was a florescent bulb. I hate florescent lights.
+ I cooked steak to go in a new recipe but didn't realize it was bad until I tasted it right before it went on the table.

In light of all that I declared today Friday Funday. No errands, no unnecessary chores, no laundry. We made pancakes for breakfast and Sesame had a moment with the oil.

Please note her headband. She found it in the closet and put it on herself.
I've never been more proud.

After breakfast I got ready for the day while Annabelle redecorated the house with paper napkins she found in the cupboard. It seems she doesn't approve of all the decorating I've done since we moved in. When she was done with the napkins she asked to play in her pool so I brought it in from the garage and put it in the living room. She then said she wanted to "cook pasta'' in the pool. Four months ago I let her play with dry rice and pasta in her pool and she wanted to go back to the good old days. Instead of making a mess in our living room we went to the children's museum to make a mess someone else will vacuum up.

Red Dragon Martial Arts was unpacking their van when we got to the museum. Although I'm well versed in Chinese food I didn't know the Chinese New Year was just celebrated. The martial arts people were bringing their dragons for a culture dance in the gym. It's not everyday I say, "Hold on, Ses. We have to let the dragons go through the door before we do ."

The rice station in the Vietnam display is very popular. AB didn't care the 75 other children had played in the rice before her. She popped a handful of rice right into her mouth. So now we're sure to have a slew of new sickness around here.  

On the way home we stopped at a new Dunkin Donuts. I'm doing a scientific study of all the DD in the area so I had to do some market research. We had our usual order of "milk with a straw" and ice coffee. It was a good way to end the morning.

All week I told myself if I could just make it to Saturday I could sleep in while Christopher got up with AB. As these things go, Christopher has to be at work at eight o'clock in the morning so my dreams of sleeping in are gone. At least I know where to get good coffee to keep my spirits up.

cabin fever

Cabin fever has officially set in.

I woke up on Sunday, the most romantic day of the year, in a mood and couldn't get myself out the door for church. By Sunday night it was obvious AB's pink eye was coming back. On Monday morning Christopher's car had a flat tire so he took mine to work. That meant I couldn't get her to the doctor or the pharmacy. By lunch time AB had a rash on both cheeks. She never ever gets a rash and I had no idea what it was from. We've been sick on and off (mostly on) for six weeks now. (That's what I get for boasting last winter about our great immune systems.) We've run out of new play ideas and there's only so many times a day we can take a bath. Most days it's either too muddy or too cold to play outside. I am ready to throw in the towel. 

It snowed all last night and through the day. We've gotten some snow here and there but this was the first big storm. 

Christopher and I have differing ideas of how to deal with snow. I'm from the part of the world where we very diligently shovel the driveway every time it snows. We like to get it out of the way so shoveling for the next storm is easier. I assumed that's common sense. Christopher doesn't understand my method. He is very lackadaisical about the whole thing. He might shovel, he might take a nap instead. He might shovel, he might decide to sit down and read a book. It hasn't caused any tension or eye rolling on my part at all. He got more excited about the snow clearing when he bought a snowblower but I'm here to tell you it snowed last week and the driveway was only slightly cleared. 

This morning I took the matter of the driveway into my own hands. I put Pooh on for Sesame, gave her some blueberries and hightailed it outta the living room. I was so looking forward to doing something out of the house. No need to tell me how stunning I looked. I already know.

The most attractive giant white blob you've ever seen.

Last night Christopher offered to show me how to use the snowblower but I said I already knew how. Turns out I did not. I pushed buttons and pulled knobs for a good ten minutes with no luck.

I shoveled for almost an hour and was really proud of my work until I realized I still had half the driveway to go. So I gave up. The rest of the afternoon was more of the same tears from poor Sesame and waning patience from me. But the driveway was clear! That's all that really matters.

ps. In all fairness, Christopher cleared driveway and a path to the door when he got home. But he had a head start because I did half of it for him. ;-)

the silver lining is all my scrapbook papers are color-coded

Back in our Fort Campbell home I had a craft room I thoroughly enjoyed. It had a rug, it was warm, it overlooked the downstairs living room so I could keep an eye on the goings on down there while simultaneously watching the neighbors through the window. It was a delightful setup.

My current craft room (more like craft room to be) is located in the basement. It triples as the seasonal decor storage room/current catch all room so needless to say I have a lot of work to do. I began tackling it yesterday and was quite pleased with my progress.

I won't insult your intelligence by pointing out that these are the before pictures. Thumbs up for my fabulous cell phone photos. 

Do you want to curl up in the fetal position and cry yet?

Don't worry! I created a brief diagram to help explain a small amount of the mayhem going on here. Feel free to blow it up and use it as the background on your computer.

Not pictured- snacks. Lots of snacks.

I have some grand ideas for creating an amazing room but sadly my budget and energy are not as big as my dreams. If anyone knows (or knows someone who knows someone who knows) Joanna Gaines please send her my way. 

Happenings

We started off Friday eve at the doctors office. Sesame seems set on getting as many sicknesses as she can this year and sadly she's being an overachiever. Not only did she have another ear infection, she also had conjunctivitis. I diagnosed her with pink eye before we even left the house. It didn't take a Web MD diploma to see that her eyes absolutely disgusting. Of course we had spent the morning at MOPS so she probably infected all the children there. No one will want to be our friend anymore. We're too generous!

Checking the trash can for more germs.

On Saturday I went to the dentist. Thanks to my jaw issues I've seen the dentist six times since we moved here. We're almost bff's. He asks about my family and I ask about his vacation to Florida. He informed me I have a small cavity. There are two things I didn't have until I got married- white hair and cavities. Now I have both. Make of that what you will. He told me I need to "floss more and snack less". I didn't ask for any clarification on what he meant by snacking because snacks are one of my love languages and I refuse to give them up. I've started flossing more in hopes that he won't notice my snacking will never end.

Working hard on that ponytail!

This morning AB and I went to the Y. The main parking lot was full so we had to park in the overflow lot down the hill. The powers that be at the Y put up a "motivational" sign in the parking lot that says ''every step matters!" as a way to soften the blow of walking uphill with a toddler in the snow when it's 15*. It's a workout just getting to the door. I dropped Annabelle off at child care which was traumatic for everyone. I was going to use the treadmill but decided to walk the track instead. Why walk in place when you can walk in a oval? I turned on my podcast and off I went. I had to burn calories so I could earn a klondike bar. I thought I had been walking for AT LEAST twelve minutes but nope. It was all of four minutes, twelve seconds. Time drags when you're not eating snacks.

We went swimming after I walked. Annabelle pointed at the elderly people swimming laps and repeatedly asked, "What's that? What's that?" like they were attractions at the zoo. Back in the locker room she sang Baa, Baa Black Sheep very loud. She got stuck on the chair. She climbed under the door. With all the activity I didn't notice I had put my workout capris on backwards until we were in the lobby.

Happy Monday.

weekend review, edition 19

I survived the Big Brother Big Sister interview. It was so long and intense I came home and immediately lay down on the couch. I will never again schedule an interview when I'm sick. The lady who did the interview wasn't kidding when she was it would be in-depth. What is my parents marriage like? How many drinks does it take for me to get drunk? What are my views on corporal punishment? What is the biggest conflict in my marriage? What is my biggest flaw? How would others describe me? What changes would I make in the justice system in relation to pedophiles? 

I'm pretty sure the starfish pose wouldn't have helped me recover when I was rambling about something for so long that I forgot the question and had to ask the lady. That happened TWICE. Let's all have a moment of grateful silence that I'm not the breadwinner in the family. My lack of interview skilz would leave me jobless and my family living in a box. Although thanks to Pinterest it would probably be a very cute box.

Our never ending sickness continued all week. I survived Friday by telling myself over and over that Christopher would be home the next day to help take care of AB. All I had to do was make it through the day. Then he came home and said he had to work Saturday morning. I cried. I was SO TIRED and SO OVER BEING SICK and ALL I WANTED TO DO was be able to breath through my nose while I slept. I attempted to calm myself down by sitting on the couch eating lime tortilla chips and watching an episode of Army Wives. I'd never watched Army Wives because I was sure it would be ridiculous and totally Hollywoodized. I decided since I was already down I'd watch some so I could speak knowledgeably on it. As I suspected, it's highly unrealistic. On what post ever has there been such a beautiful and pristine hospital? Do those ladies ever set foot in the commissary during the 5 o'clock rush? I have NEVER come across a lieutenant colonel working at any gate but there was LTC So and So filling out visitor passes at midnight. The most realistic thing about the show is the sub-par base housing. But somehow it sucked me in enough to watch six episodes so make of that what you will.

In other boring news (we can't all constantly be having girls nights like the army wives), I went to the Sprint store four times today. That's four more times than I would like. My phone has been acting spastic for the last few minutes and I finally ordered a replacement. I went down at 10:30 to pick it up and the guy said it would take an hour to transfer everything from my old phone. We played at the park for an hour then went back to the store. He said it would be done in 18 minutes. We went home for lunch and returned an hour later only to be told it still wasn't done, but it "should" be only 8 more minutes. SIX HOURS LATER I got my phone. The worst part of the day wasn't not having a phone. It was the 12 times I had to buckle and unbuckle AB's car seat. It made me long for a more simple day.

And lastly, the clasp on my necklace is stuck and I can't get the necklace off. Welcome to my life.

I'm sure they'll be glad to hear about my mad cough drop unwrapping skilz

We're sick AGAIN. I'd like to thank/blame Annabelle for bringing home germs from all the nurseries she's visited lately. The germs are a souvenir that never stops giving. 

Normally I don't have anything important going on during the week but of course this week was a busy one. I had a doctor appointment yesterday, a play date scheduled for this morning that I had to cancel and an interview tonight. 

I applied to volunteer for the Big Brother Big Sister program and naturally the interview falls on a day when my head is swollen, my nose is red from blowing it every five minutes and my voice sounds like a seal. Just the first impression I was hoping to make! Add to that my general dislike of a) meetings and 2) being in the spotlight and it's recipe a for an awkward hour and a half.

I heard about a woman who has extensively studied body language and how it affects our performance. One pose is called The Wonder Woman and another The Starfish. It tickled me yesterday when I thought about standing like a starfish in the middle of the waiting room before the interview. Today I feel like a disco starfish floating through air and pumped full of cough syrup and motrin. I'll be a great asset to the program.

Currently- the January edition

Whenever I have a) nothing to blog about or b) TOO MANY THINGS TO SAY I do a currently post.

Drinking: A shampoo cap of "ice coffee" made from bath water with a side of soap. I told her it needed more milk. She gets some favorite child points for knowing one of my favorite drinks.

Unintentionally: potty training. I didn't mean for it to happen but it sort of just did. Occasionally AB will tell me when she has a dirty diaper and I tell her the real key here is to tell me before she goes. I bought one of those little seats that goes on the real toilet on a whim a few months ago and every so often she asks to sit on it. The other day she was sitting on it stark naked and she asked me to scratch her back while she waited to poop. WHAT HAS MY LIFE BECOME? What happened to my dreams of being a social secretary for the First Lady?! Or being the First Lady myself?

Reading: For the Love and The Secret Keeper. They're both due today and I have a combined total of 336 pages left to read. 

Slightly disgruntled with: the library. We went to a new library this morning for our big Monday activity. Before we left I did extensive research on which books I wanted and even wrote down the call numbers so I wouldn't have to drag Sesame around on a wild goose chase. I'd swoop right in, grab the book off the shelf and off we'd go. It was a flawless plan. Except nothing went according to plan. I couldn't find any of my three books. I've never seen such a complex numbering system. None of the books were where they should have been and I checked three times. I didn't want to ask for help because I was too proud to admit I didn't understand the library. I'm fine asking for help to find one book, but three seemed like a little too much. At that point I'd just hand them my grocery list and ask them to do that shopping too. I briefly considered telling the librarian I just moved to this country and my country uses a different system but I cannot lie. Meanwhile, Annabelle was climbing on chairs and telling the whole library about her snowman book. "I gotta s'owman book, Mama! I sittin in the chay-ya, Mama." Since I never found my books I'll be stuck reading Winnie the Pooh from A to Zzzzz and All You Need for a Snowman for the next three weeks. 

Not understanding: why people in this state insist on eating vegetables for breakfast. Every week at MOPS there's a platter of vegetables with ranch dressing. I enjoy carrots and ranch but not at 10 o'clock in the morning. We went out for breakfast and the lady next to us was eating salad. I don't understand this place.

Getting worked up over: someone telling me I could "just pray nausea away" when pregnant. You'd better believe I did pray for healing when I was throwing up 5-7 times a day for months on end. I prayed every day and God said N-O. Don't tell me all I needed was a little more faith and I would have been healthy as a horse. That's about as infuriating as telling me to "just eat saltines" or "all you need to do is wear a seasickness bracelet" or "have you tried ginger?" or, possibly worst of all, "I threw up a couple times so I know how you feel." I'm getting VERY WORKED UP ABOUT THIS. 

Watching: Downton Abbey and The Bachelor. They are so different but they both bring me so much joy. 

Internally crying over: Annabelle's upcoming birthday. She'll be two. TWO. Do you understand how much this upsets me? Just last week she wasn't even six pounds and newborn clothes were too big for her. Now she's singing the alphabet and pointing to Texas on the map. At this rate she'll be making me a grandmother by next week. 

social week continues

Every time I come home to visit I have too many people I want to see and not enough time. This time has been no different. It's tough to be so popular.

Joanna came over on Wednesday night. We behaved in the ruckus manner we're known for by spending an hour at The Christmas Tree Shop. Can't hold us down! Joanna discussed the feelings and repercussions of her recent breakup and I had a debate over whether or not to buy sticks wrapped in lights for my mantle. Between the two of us it's pretty obvious who can have an intelligent theological discussion and who wants to decorate a room with sequins.

My uncle took my cousin and I to the shooting range. Despite the fact I have a concealed carry license I'm not a big fan of handling guns. I can do it but I don't love it. I don't like gun ranges either. I'm always afraid someone will go crazy and shot everyone in the building. Christopher says that's crazy and maybe it is, but it still makes me nervous. Thankfully no one else was there so I didn't worry for my life as much. We had to staple our target to a piece of cardboard and I couldn't get the stapler to work. What a great start. I almost decided I should't pick up a gun after I couldn't operate a standard piece of office equipment. I did a little better than I expected but I'm no expert marksman. The US Olympic shooting team won't be offering me a contract.

Today is Grandma's 88th birthday. All week long Sesame has been saying "Happy bir'day, Memere! Happy bir'day, Memere!" and singing happy birthday. She wanted to give Memere a black balloon but I couldn't find one (not that I looked very hard) so I bought a flowered one instead. She was very excited about the balloon until it was time to present it along with a painted gingerbread man box. She dropped the gifts and didn't say a word. I guess she's not a monkey who performs on demand. (Don't judge my after-Christmas gingerbread man. We painted so many boxes during moments of afternoon boredom we'll probably be giving them away in July.) Once Memere brought out the music boxes they were BFF's once again.

I've taken on the responsibility of making the cake for her party tomorrow. Nothing like the pressure of creating what I hope will be the best cake of the last 88 years! Fingers and toes crossed it doesn't fall off the plate when I carry it across the yard.

over the highway and through the tolls, to Grandmother's house we go

Last Thursday afternoon Sesame and I drove down to see my family. The first fifteen minutes of the trip went like this:
1:40- We stopped at Dunkin Donuts for our pre-trip fuel.
1:42- I bust out the snacks.
1:53- I already misread the gps and took a wrong turn. I had to turn around in the parking lot of Pharaoh's Adult Entertainment. The place was much busier than I would have expected for the early afternoon but what do I know? I've become a person who thinks going out after 7:30 on a weekend is late. Not to mention that I seldom visit adult entertain stores at any time of the day.
1:55- I got myself on the right road and waited for the light to turn green. When it did turn I pushed down the gas pedal, the engine made all sorts of noise and we didn't go anywhere. Somehow I put the car in the wrong gear without knowing it. I held up the whole intersection while I panicked.

Once we got on the road it was smooth sailing. The first 278 miles were bor to the ing but I listened to podcasts and AB slept like a rock. She is such a good little traveler. She barely made a peep the whole 7+ hours. She did request multiple singings of The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Twinkle Twinkle and while I sometimes pride myself in having a half decent voice, I wouldn't have won any awards for my renditions. 

We could have made the trip in one day but because we didn't leave until the afternoon I decided we'd stop at a hotel for the night. I kept telling AB we'd swim at the hotel and she talked about it the whole drive. The pool was across the hall from our room and she's stick her face up against the window and lick the glass while asking to put her bathing suit on. After literally hours of anticipation, we didn't even stay in the pool for 10 minutes. She said it was too cold and she wanted to go back to the room and watch a show. Apart from the fact that it took us longer than 10 minutes to get ready for the pool, I was glad we didn't stay in long. Everyone is worried about their bathing suit body in the summer but I think the real season people should worry about squeezing on a bathing suit is the week after Christmas. I wasn't emotionally prepared for what I saw in the mirror.

Annabelle had a hard time falling asleep in her crib so I let her sleep in the bed with me. I really didn't want to share the bed but she wasn't buying how exciting it was to sleep in a "special crib". I put her way over on the other side of the bed so I could still have some space. Somehow the child who is approximately 32'' tall took up 3/4 of the king sized bed. She kept pushing her feet into my back until I was at the very edge of the bed. She woke me up in the morning with a headbutt in the ribs. Reason #574 I don't cosleep.

AB is having the best time. She loves all the attention and finding new things to get into. I love that we're both sleeping in separate beds. It's a win win situation.

may 2016 be the year of bacon

2016 has been pretty good so far.

In the last few days I spilt coffee on the couch, went to two Sprint stores which ranks right up there with Toys R Us as my least favorite store, and get nail polish remover in a cut, but overall it's been better than the last few days of 2015. No one's had a fever, we haven't been to the doctor yet and the hole in our ceiling is almost fixed. Things have started looking up.

It snowed over the weekend. Annabelle was so excited to try snow. She was less excited about wearing mittens.

She built a snowman then promptly ate him too.

*

I've spent some time thinking over my resolutions for the new year. I'm keeping it really simple and hopefully achievable:

+ eat more chocolate
+ take more naps
+ keep the fish alive
+ 

there's a reason people don't like Mondays

On Saturday Annabelle woke up with cough and a runny nose. She had a coughing fit every 45 minutes that night. She was so tired she couldn't even get the pacifier in her mouth without help.

On Sunday she had a fever and I felt like I was simultaneously coming down with ear infections and strep throat. My voice sounded like a cross between a frog and a boy whose voice is changing. No need to point out how attractive that is.

On Monday Sesame's fever kept going up and she sounded like a seal when she coughed. I almost didn't want to call the doctor only to be told she had a cold (I always think I'll be called the hypochondriac mom), but I'm so glad I brought her in. She has an ear infection in one ear, swelling in the other and RSV. Yesterday was HARD. She was so miserable all day. She'd take a break from coughing to cry and pull at her ears. We watched more tv than she's watched in the last three months. She didn't want to do anything but moan and cry. My head felt like it was about to explode.

To top it all off, our landlord and his father spent the entire day at our house making a hole in the kitchen ceiling. 

On Saturday Christopher's father noticed the ceiling above the kitchen table was leaking. We (meaning him, I did nothing) turned off the water to the bathroom above the kitchen. Jim Jr. and Jim Sr. arrived on Monday morning and declared that they would need to take the ceiling down to find the source of the leak. What fun! The Jim's are such nice people and they know much more about home maintenance than I do, but it didn't inspire a lot of confidence when they said they only know how to take ceilings down, not how to put up a new one. Or when they lost the saw they were using to make the holes. They lost it for a good five hours and finally figured out they had vacuumed it up. We came back from the doctor to find the hole bigger than ever, the upstairs toilet hanging out in the hallway, and half the kitchen furniture in the living room. It wasn't the most peaceful day.

I got the following text from Jim Jr today. "The guy that's doing the drywall said I need to remove more. We'll be by tomorrow.'' The fun never ends! I have a feeling I won't have any ceiling left by tomorrow night. 

Send chocolate. Or martinis. Or both. 

Happy Christmas!

In keeping with my personal holiday tradition, I'm posting about Christmas while everyone else is gearing up to celebrate New Year's and choosing their word of the year. (I don't choose a word of the year but if I did it would be sleep.)

Much to my relief, both trees made it through the holidays without crashing to the ground. 

We forgot to trim the top of the deer tree. Too late now.

On Christmas Eve we put on our finest clothes and went to church. Annabelle couldn't believe we were going to "sing Happy Christmas songs about Jesus" in the middle of the week. 

I know I keep saying it over and over, but she's getting so big. I almost cried when I looked at these pictures because she's grown so much since last Christmas. It's a real shame she has no personality.

During the solemn playing of Silent Night, an alarm went off on my phone reminding us to put the trash out by the street. I wish I learned that the phone being on vibrate doesn't apply to alarms anywhere but in the middle of a church service. I was thinking, "How rude of someone to not put their phone on vibrate" when I saw my purse glowing. 

Annabelle wrapped and labeled Christopher's gift. She's practicing her illegible autograph for when she's famous. All three times we've been to the garden center she's pointed at a little stone owl and said, "Daddy! Daddy! For Daddy!" He's now the proud owner of a garden decoration for the garden he doesn't have.

Oma and Opa came up from Texas to spend the weekend with us. They win the award for most popular gifts of the year. Not only did they give Sesame a cash register, they gave her a shopping cart and groceries. It was all my childhood dreams come true. I hope my other childhood dream comes true next Christmas and I she gets a puppy.

Currently- The Christmas Edition

Listening to: Josh Groban's Christmas album. Have I mentioned I love Josh Groban? I DO.

Cooking and baking: Chicken soup, oreo balls, fudge and peanut butter pie. Long live dessert.

No longer loving: my Christmas tree. It's probably unChristmas to say that but it's true. I swear the trees in the living room are getting bigger and taking up more room every day. The branches are flimsy and the ornaments are constantly sliding off. They're shedding like a dog. Saddest of all, neither tree smells like a pine tree. I have to burn my pine tree candle to make the house smell like a Christmas tree.

Watching: Cheesy Hallmark movies.

Loving: My tiny poinsettia plant 

Sewing: Christmas pajamas for AB. Hello, last minute. Nice to see you again.

Playing on repeat: This Adele parody. French fries forever.

At my wits end about: Annabelle's nightly sleeping habits. She went from being asleep by 8 at the latest to still being awake at 10:30-11 every night. I can't even talk about it or I might cry. Send large amounts of ice coffee.

Decorating: A gingerbread nativity. I can't tell you how holy I felt decorating a nativity instead of a gingerbread house. 

Sleeping: Not enough.

Is it the weekend yet?

This morning I went downtown to pick up a gift card. I had never been in that part of the city before and I turned around no less than four times in an attempt to park on the street in front of the correct building. When I finally got a spot I was proud of myself for a stellar parallel parking job. (They make such a big deal of parallel parking in drivers ed you'd think it's a daily activity.) Then I noticed I was in a handicap spot. A good citizen would have moved. Apparently my good citizen days are behind me. I backed up just enough to give myself wiggle room (literally and figuratively) in case I was ticketed for my infraction and needed to defend myself. 

This afternoon I finally decorated the dining room for Christmas. I should have done it four weeks ago but I've been too busy pining table decor ideas. I almost had a panic attack/OCD meltdown when I was wrapping lights around greenery and the green of the light wires didn't match the greenery. I stopped short of spray painting the wires to make them match. 

Tonight I knocked over a cheese display at the grocery store.

One of my favorite things about this town is the gas station chain where I can vacuum my car for free. The vacuums at the gas station I normally go to were closed so I went to the one up the road. I tried driving around the building thinking the vacuums were in the back but they weren't. I pulled into a parking spot to back up and leave but I couldn't because I would have been headed straight into three one-way lanes all going the opposite of the direction I needed to go. I didn't know what to do so I sat in the car and ate the entire box of crackers I had just bought at the grocery store. Had I been there much longer I would have cracked open the lunch meat and cheese I got. After twenty minutes I decided to make a break for it. I waited until no cars were coming then backed outta there like the speed demon/rule breaker that I never am. 

Next door to the aforementioned downtown store is a pasta and cupcake store. We went in for a quick look around and Annabelle was infatuated with the cupcakes in the display. She couldn't get over them. She especially like the chocolate one with mint green frosting. Unlike some people in this house, I don't buy her everything she likes and wants. She's only just starting to understand that items at the store can be bought and I make a big deal out of only looking and not bringing everything home.

However. 

When she folded her hands under her chin, swayed back and forth in her little gold and white skirt and said, "You gonna buy a cupcake, Mama?" I caved. 

Her cute face deserves all the cupcakes.

Parade of Christmas Clothes, 2015

The week Annabelle was born, a girl from church came over to visit. She followed me into the bedroom to change the baby's diaper and asked me what my favorite part was of having a girl. I didn't answer that it was the chance to bring up Prince George's future wife or, a church answer at its best, the opportunity to raise a girl for the Lord. I said it was dressing her up. 

That was my answer and I've stuck to it.

And so I present my second annual Parade of Christmas Clothes.

She's smiling because I said either a) we were going to the pet store b) we were going to story time or c) I'd give her a snack if she stood still and smiled. I'm going with C.

She wore her darling smocked stocking dress to see Santa.

It's the same exact dress and bow she wore on her first Christmas. She was so tiny, toothless and bald! I still can't get over how cute she was.

Christmas jammies for the win! I want them in my size.

I told her the ornaments on her romper are called baubles. Besides it being adorable to hear her say, it sounds more British. I hear Prince George calls them baubles and you know what they say- as do the royals, so do S and AB.

Of course it's smocked. Would you expect anything less?

she's not much of a Santa baby

I started the week off feeling festive and in the best Christmas mood. I played Christmas carols all morning and made AB a felt tree to decorate. I wrapped gifts and watched a Hallmark movie.

Then Thursday rolled around. I spent all day trying to get my nativity characters to stand up instead of falling onto each other and Jesus. I was so fed up with my tree being crooked that I tried to fix it and the whole thing went crashing down. It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie. I saw it falling and my arm went out to stop it three seconds too late.

"Oh dear. Oh dear. What a mess, mama. Oh dear."

What's that they say about Christmas being all calm, merry and bright?

Saturday we went to a Christmas cottage to see Santa. Annabelle wasn't feeling her best but the celebration must go on. We waited in line for about twenty minutes while I talked up the cottage and how fun it would be. We could almost taste Annabelle's excitement.

The cottage was beautiful. It was about the size of a postage stamp and decorated from top to bottom with snowmen, reindeer, a mantle and stockings, a tree and a train chugging around a track attached to the top of the wall. Unfortunately I didn't get to take it in as much as I wished because AB, who kept telling us she was going to see "San-ta Caus", got petrified the second we walked in the cottage and wouldn't let go of me. 

I find this picture much more entertaining that I should. Poor Belle Belle is saying, "I DOE YIKE IT! I DOE YIKE IT!" Santa is looking at us like he doesn't get paid enough for this (it was a free event so he didn't get money from me) and I'm all "This is so fun, AB! Look at his beard! Look at his pretty suit! Smile for the picture!"

(Speaking of his beard, in an attempt to get her to stop crying I almost pulled Santa's beard. I was this close to reaching out and pulling at it. I don't know what came over me. Noticing that he had glittery eyeliner on to make his eyes sparkle startled me into good behavior.)

It may not have been as picture perfect an event as last year but it was memorable. 

there's no room for us in our tree filled house

Last weekend we set up our Christmas trees.

Sesame and I scoped out the trees at the garden store Friday morning then we all went back to pick one out in the evening. We set up our plaid and deer themed tree first. As we were putting it together I kept thinking how beautiful Christmas lights are and wondering why we don't have them up all year long.

Twelve minutes later I was fighting with a clump of half broken lights on our fake tree and declaring that I can't stand Christmas lights. How quickly my tune changed. It would be stating the obvious to point out that we had a major tree malfunction.

We couldn't find the fake tree stand and the tree itself was falling apart so we threw it out and got a second real tree for the rest of our ornaments. I love Christmas trees and I love our tradition of having multiple trees, but this year it hasn't turned out so well. In our last house we had an upstairs and a downstairs living room so we put a tree in each and it worked out perfectly. We only have one living room in this house so we have a trees in opposite corners of the room. We have two trees, two couches, two bookcases, a tv stand and various toys all in the living room. And the living room is far from large. In other words, there's almost no room for us in our own house. It's like walking into a furniture filled forest. I'm seriously considering moving a tree to another room because there's nothing relaxing about all these huge trees. Is it weird to have a large tree in a bathroom? I'm asking for a friend.

Opa sent us a bunch of Christmas cookies and AB took the basket they came in and made it a bed for Baby Belle. She keeps holding the bed up to the tree so her baby can see. 

Try not to slip on the puddle my heart made on the floor.

a little bitty tree for a little bitty girl

Last night we set up the first of our Christmas trees. It has exactly twice the number of decorations as last year. 

We put it up in Sesame's room. I was all this is so! fun! Best! day! ever! and she fluctuated between excitement and uncertainty. She loves Christmas trees but like most children in a first world country, she's not used to having trees in her room.

We had planned to pick out our tree tonight but it's raining so we rescheduled. Every year we have a theme for our fake tree and this year is plaid and deer. I found the deer ornaments at Lowe's today and let me tell you, I have never been so excited in a home improvement store. They're perfect.

Our larger than life Jesus has made his yearly appearance. Obviously I remember from previous Christmases that's he's huge but every year it cracks me up and I have to take a picture. I have at least three identical pictures. It's become a Christmas tradition.

Jesus: "I have arrived."
Mary: "No wonder my back was killing me."
Joseph: "I don't know how to handle kids. I'll just stand in the background with the light."