iPhone, uPhone

I got a new phone recently.

For some people that wouldn't be worth mentioning, but my old phone was from 1943 so moving to a 2012 phone was quite the leap.

(Was it necessary to put the arrows and dates? Sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion that I point out the obvious.)

For months I said I DID NOT want a phone with internet access. I didn't need a phone to make me coffee or sings lullabies. All I needed was a phone that made calls, sent texts, and took pictures. (I'm pretty sure those last two were on the list of requirements Alexander Graham Bell's mother had when she got her first phone.) I feel like I spend more than enough time on blogs/facebook/google/more blogs/"research" for my blog/various websites so I didn't want to carry around a little internet in my pocket. Mr. iPhone (aka Christopher) did his best to talk me into a smartphone. He kept saying it's important to stay up to date with technology so that when I'm old I'll be able to keep up. I think he's afraid I'll become like the elderly man we heard on the radio who said, "You can visit our world wide website any time you want. It's really great because that website is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." I was under the impression that most websites operate on a 24/7 basis, but apparently he wasn't. I kept saying that I am perfectly capable of using smartphones and whatever technology comes down the road right now, but I have no plans on being technologically inclined when I'm 68. I will be perfectly happy to attend Red Hat Society meetings and talk about my grandchildren. Besides, I think it's a little early to be worried about what technology I'll have to face in 40 years. My big concern right now is what to make for supper.

Fast forward to our visit to the Verizon store. I had to convince the salesman that I would not die if I didn't have the internet, so please point me in the direction of the (apparently) old fashioned phones. He showed me a particular phone that met my requirements but alas, it had an ugly background that couldn't be changed (total First World problem!). I asked if there were any others and he said no, not unless I ventured into the land of smartphones.  It took two grown men to talk me into getting a phone with internet.  The salesman pointed out I could update my Facebook status while I was out shopping, but that wasn’t a good argument as that’s exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Finally he told me the smartphones were $50 cheaper than the others. Well. He should have just mentioned that in the beginning because that won me over. Think of all the necessities like picture frames and scrapbook paper food and gas I could buy with those $50!

And there you have it.- the lengthy story behind my new phone. Brevity was never one of my finer qualities.

For the record, Mr. iPhone needed me to explain the ins and out of Twitter. Maybe we should be a little concerned with how well he handles new technology.

(ps. I still only use the phone for calls, texts and photos. The Verizon man would be disappointed at the lack of witty statuses updated-from-my-phone.)