It's all merry and bright until everyone gets sick

In keeping with tradition, I'm finally talking about Christmas six days after it happened. You can expect my year in review post sometime around Valentines Day.

Sesame's first Christmas present came from my parents. We didn't give Sesame any gift this year. I think the 24/7 life support it's provided free of charge is plenty.

We drove to Texas to visit Christopher's family for Christmas. I announced when we were about to enter Arkansas before I saw the signs because I've seen pictures of the Arkansas bridge on instagram so many times. Instagram is the geography textbook of the 21st century. As soon as it becomes the math textbook I will delete my account.

Arkansas gave us the gifts of three hours bumper to bumper traffic and a tree falling directly in front of our car as we drove down the highway. Good thing I was co-piloting because the driver who shall remain nameless was unaware that a giant piece of wood was about to crash down on us. I pointed at it and said, "Do you see that tree?" as calmly as one might say "Would you like fries with that?" We drove over the top of the tree and (obviously) survived, but I didn't close my eyes the rest of the trip. Somebody had to keep an eye on the road.

I'd like to say it was all fun and games while we were in Texas, but sadly it wasn't. All eight of us got the stomach virus to some degree or another. Merry Christmas to us! It was the gift that kept on giving. Sesame and I spent Christmas day in the hotel. (Yes, I do realize that in my attempts to capture Sesame's first almost Christmas I ended up with a picture prominently featuring the floor.)

When we weren't dashing to the bathroom, we got around town. We went to see Christmas lights.

And to church for a Christmas Eve service where I had some wardrobe issues with my dress.

We visited the zoo.

Sadie especially liked the flamingos.

On the way home we stopped at the Bill Clinton Presidential Library in Little Rock. He's my favorite president. ON OPPOSITE DAY. It was a good lesson in self-control to not give my own side of the story after every display. I will say that he did a good job with the rug in his Oval Office. I'm always on the look out for a good rug to put in our living room and this one fit all the requirements. I would have permanently borrowed it but a security guard was sitting right outside the door (hence the below photo taken under my sleeve) and I didn't think I could take it without causing a scene.

We turned home to find our house a balmy 41 degrees. Nothing like a warm homecoming! 

merry and bright and very delayed

back

My sincerest apologies if you are reading this and expected to have received a Christmas card from me by now. The company messed up with the shipping so the cards didn't arrive at our house until after we'd already left for vacation. This means I'll be sending out New Year's cards which is really too much for me to bear. 

not only is it a cute car, it's blue to boot

We've been talking about getting a new car for a little while now. Last week Christopher gave me a list of acceptable cars and told me to go on each website to learn more about each car. He asked if I know about car buying to which I replied that it is not my forte. I may have also said something along the lines of not knowing whether 12 or 72 horsepower is better. What can I say? I have simple car buying criteria: 

* nice color, preferably blue
* good blinker (None of this clickclickclickclick stuff. I prefer click pause click pause click pause.)
* must have a regular key that goes in the ignition (Apparently that makes me very old fashioned.)
* no little screen that pops up when the car is put in reverse (I was taught to look in the direction in which I am driving so it makes no sense to look forward at the screen when I'm traveling backwards.)

I went on each website and really tried to be more objective than rating the cars according to cuteness, but one website was lacking in pictures so I was thoroughly confused. This told me absolutely nothing about the car. 

What is this variable cylinder management of which you speak? 

Last Saturday we went out test driving. Naturally I fought the urge to giggle the entire time because that's what I do in situations where I should seem grown up. We were driving one car when Will the salesman piped up from the backseat, "Can you feel how the gears don't shift? It's all one smooth motion." I hadn't noticed. I was trying to figure out if the car came with seat warmers and how big the glove compartment was. Christopher deals with the mechanical specifications and I take care of the frilly details. It's a system that's worked well so far.

After test driving a whopping one vehicle, we went back Wednesday to buy it. (For inquisitive minds, we got a Nissan Rogue. The name makes me feel wild and adventuresome.) It does have the reverse monitor, but it's easy enough to ignore. Buying cars really is hardly something I do every day, so I didn't know that sometimes you need to be prepared to spend three hours of your day in the dealership waiting for papers to process. At least Will provided fresh cookies and water to make our stay more pleasurable. I needed something to comfort me after Christopher pointed out to me, Will, AND the insurance lady on the phone that I had two new gray hairs. He's just the sweetest. 

While the car will belong to both of us, technically it is more mine than Christopher's because we still have his car. As proud owner, I will have more power in matters of importance such as what we name it and any outer decor. I was also told I can have whatever I want on the license plate. I'm thinking of a picture of Jimmy Stewart in one corner and a picture of Dick Van Dyke in the other. Maybe a third of Harrison Ford just to round things out. 

Watch Sesame Grow, week 24/6 months

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. I got stuck in traffic on the highway. Got off the exit and joined the rows of cars creeping along the road because the sun was so blinding no one could see. Found Christopher's sunglasses which did nothing to block the sun and everything to make me look stupid. Saw the lane closed ahead sign but couldn't get out of the right lane thanks to the crazy drivers of Nashville. Finally managed to get in the left lane IMMEDIATELY before avoiding a collision with the barriers that I couldn't see because of the sun. Squealed into the parking lot 4 minutes before my appointment. Got on the elevator and pushed the button for the 3rd floor but it went to the first. Pushed 3 again and it went to the 2nd floor. Pushed the button again (really hard) and it sailed back down to the first floor. Wondered why I thought it would be a good idea to have children when they requir visiting doctor's with possessed elevators. Finally made it to the 3rd floor.

All that to say I finally have some medical statistics to provide instead of "I'm getting round around the middle". 

Edition: But I am getting round around the middle

Size of baby: About a foot long and 11/3 lbs. 
Fun fact: Sesame's taste buds are developing. Let's hope for a good eater. Heart rate of 153.
Size of mother: I've gained 11lbs in the last 6 months. I still have time to expand like a hot air balloon.
Worst part of the week: Sesame barely moved all weekend.
Best part of the week: All is well in Hotel Womb. Turns out Sesame just enjoys being lazy on the weekends. I'm perfectly fine with that once he/she is no longer inside me. 
Other things I have to say: The most recent baby email to hit my inbox mentioned that I might be craving dirt or chalk. It even went so far as to inform me that "it definitely doesn't mean you should consume them." If someone needs to be told not to lick a stick of chalk maybe they shouldn't be responsible for another human being. 

Deck the halls and walls

Three years ago on our first Christmas we were in Arizona and decorated a tiny Christmas tree. I loved it. Last year we were in the apartment and ended up with a forest in our living room. This year we're in a house and I almost had to buy bought/made a few more decorations. What a pity.

This wreath snowman is my Pinterest crafting success story. He's just so cute.

I think the designers of our nativity did their best to include anyone who could have been in a 100 mile radius of the manger that night. Poor Mary. It doesn't look like she had much of a silent night with the whole town crowded around. 

Grandma gave me this nativity but she lost the original baby Jesus so she took a Jesus from another set. This Jesus is huge. I guess you could say Jesus is really big in our house. I'm sorry. The jokes are endless. 

The stockings are hung over our fake fireplace with care. (We've put a man on the moon and yet no one has invented Christmas lights without the annoying and tacky three foot cord at the end.)

Our theme tree this year is a blue and silver snowflake downstairs. We picked out this tree after church Sunday night and it was so wet we couldn't really tell what the tree looked like. It didn't settle as much as I was hoping so I've spent considerable time pushing and pulling the branches in attempts to fluff it. You know what doesn't bend and twist like a fake tree? A real tree. In the end it sorted itself out and looks presentable. 

View at night from the top of the stairs.

I had some extra garland and lights so I strung them on our bed. I'm sure Aggie is looking at this picture and feeling depressed there aren't any throw pillows on my bed. It's like I've learned nothing from her during our friendship. ;)

We have our fake tree with all the decorations in our living room upstairs. 

It's held up with a package of No. 2 pencils. Klass act around here.

I searched high and low for a new tree topper and finally found one at the place whose sophistication rivals the pencils in the picture about- the Dollar Tree. 

We got this Guess How Much I Love you ornament for Sesame. I know. The baby's not born yet so technically doesn't need an ornament, but you're talking about the couple who in three years have collected the number of ornaments usually reserved for a couple going on their 44th anniversary. 

May your Christmas be filled with joy and an overabundance of hot chocolate and ornaments.

Any guesses how Miss Manners would feel about this?

One of my first selfies (I hate that word!) looked like this:

I completely missed my face.

But look who is a pro at taking a selfie! None other than the POTUS and his buddies, the Prime Ministers of Britain and Denmark.

All was fun and games until Mrs. O realized the shenanigans going on to her right. 

Then things suddenly turned somber and serious and generally the way one should behave AT A FUNERAL.

Leave it to the American...

source

it's more of an all out estate than a regular house, what with the landscaping and all

We really thought we couldn't top our gingerbread house last year. Nothing could have been farther from the truth. I don't mean to boast but our house knocks all the other gingerbread houses off the shelf.

Christopher decorated the front and the little man. The roof, sides, and carefully assembled walkway were a joint effort.

We probably spent 10 minutes individually icing the tiny candy balls leading up to the door. Don't come between us and a bag of piping.

I decorated the back of the house. It has a swirls and hearts theme.

Notice how no two gumballs along the wall are the same color. She who shall remain nameless was very insistent that be the case.

Dear Sesame (and all future children),
We love you and look forward to decorating a gingerbread house with you, but don't be offended when if we make our own on the side. We don't like icing to go where icing doesn't belong.

Love,
Your adoring and slightly particular parents

Watch Sesame Grow, week 23

Editorial comment: This should have gone up yesterday. I get very OCD about all the Sesame posts being on Monday and I get jittery when they don't. But yesterday was SUCH a Monday. I didn't even have to look at the calendar to know why everything was going wrong. I think I'll write a morbid and depressing song titled Monday wherein I chronicle my day. I should probably get on that soon. I heard that Rebecca Black, the girl who wrote Friday, just wrote a song called Saturday. I need to get in on the days of the week song action before she monopolizes Sunday through Thursday.

Edition: The general consensuses is that this picture makes me look bigger than I actually am

Size of baby: Weighs about as much as a mango. 
Fun fact: The baby can feel when I dance. We've been learning the waltz at our dance class so I wouldn't be surprised if the baby comes out waltzing.
Size of mother: See photo above.
What's on the menu: I've given up hope of ever having those intense cravings everyone talks about. I did buy a bag of Funyuns the other day not because I was craving them. I was hungry and they were on the shelf next to me. They were every bit as delicious and unhealthy as I remembered.
Best part of the week:  I went eight days without getting sick.
Worst part of the week: It was fun while it lasted.
Other things I have to say: My pants are staying up much better these days. We found a belly band at Target (where the maternity section is the size of a matchbox) and things have been much better in the wardrobe department. I know you're all relieved. 

quite possibly my favorite Christmas commercial ever

we also have some diapers so you know things are getting serious over here

We recently painted Sesame's bedroom. Before you panic and leave comments about fumes and how I shouldn't be painting, let me ease your minds and tell you I didn't do any actual painting. I enjoy painting, but after two visits to the Home Depot paint department where I barely made it out without getting sick, I decided to take the supervisory role. Somebody had to do it. Since I thoroughly enjoy telling people my (usually unwanted) opinion on whatever they're doing, it wasn't much of a hardship. As a brief side note, have you ever considered that Home Depot has no seating arrangements for those whose vision is blurry and feel they're about to faint? All they have are toilet displays and I wasn't about to go there. 

Here I am in all my makeupless, klassy sweatpants outfit glory. It's important to have some documentation for years down the road when Sesame thinks all I did before he/she was born was pose next to chalkboards.

We choose a grayish/light blueish/light lilacish color. It changes depending on the lighting and how you tip your head and we really like it. Every other room in our house is yellowish (the owners aren't very creative) and sometimes I look in the nursery just for a change of color scenery. 

We've also spent many hours assembling baby furniture. 

Again, Christopher assembled and I supervised. I failed to tell him to put the mattress frame for on the highest level until after he had assembled the whole thing, but I was in the middle of cooking him a Thanksgiving turkey so I deserve a little slack.  

In the picture below, we see Mel Gibson supervising the bureau assembly. Either that or he's running for his life. I'd bet on the later.

In other baby news, I ordered a car seat. Between that and the crib there's no going back now. 

Watch Sesame Grow, Week 22

Edition: I look like an Easter egg

Not much has changed since last week so this is an abbreviated version.

Size of baby: About 1lb or, supposedly, the size of a spaghetti squash. I wish they'd stop using food as a comparison. I realize they're trying to give us something tangible to compare the size of the baby to, but the vegetables aren't in any sort of Russian nesting doll order and it drives the OCD part of me nuts. See below for very scientific illustration.

The baby was a round little ball at week 19, suddenly started exercising and lost a lot of weight for week 21, but bulked back up with week 22. I'm so confused. Why couldn't they say "This week your baby is the size of a carrot and next week it will be the size of a slightly larger carrot"? (This is the overtired Sarah talking. I'm sorry you had to witness it.)

Fun fact: Sesame's eyes and tiny teeth are developed.
The good and the bad: The good news is I'm on a 6 day no throwing up streak. This has happened exactly never in the last 22 weeks. The bad news is I'm still nauseous all the time. You win some, you lose some.