sesame says, volume 3

"Mom, I know you don't like frogs but do you know what they think about?"

When she saw leaves falling off the trees- ''The trees are sneezing!"

Me: "What did you say?"
AB: "I forget. My thoughts were scooped out of my brain."

Me: "There will be consequences for that."
AB: "I'm ok with that."

We were getting a pedicure with Oma and Annabelle asked what color I was going to get. I said I wanted French nails. When she picked her color she said, “I’m going to get a British green.” 

Last week we sent a Paperless Post email to Annabelle’s BFF Kezia. She picked the card, the envelope and the font. I’m not a big fan of AB playing with my computer because she always clicks on the wrong things and gets fingerprints all over the screen, but I let her have free reign during this project and she loved it. 

She and Kezi started preschool on the same day and Annabelle wanted to ask her a hard-hitting question.

From Annabelle
To Kezia

I love you.
I hope you like school. Mom said that you take naps at your school.
How long are they?
Goodbye.

Kezi sent back this reply.

It’s kind of in the middle…not too long, not too short.

I love you. How are you doing? Let’s have a playdate.

Love,

Kezia

Paperless Post has hundreds of options for creating pretty emails, especially invitations for all the parties (book club! political viewing party! happy hour!) in your life. Unfortunately, I don’t throw many parties these days, but Annabelle has been asking to have a playdate with her church friends so we’ll use the site to make email invitations. After that, I'll have a girls night to reward myself for having a large playdate. It's a win-win.

Contains my own opinions of Paperless Post. I was compensated with product for this review.

the bush men are next on my meet and greet list

We had a rather unusual weekend. We went to a peanut festival.

Over the many years, we've spent our weekends at baseball games, our nations capital, museums, musical events, the occasional Octoberfest. We've spent several, several weekends at home. Never once have we gone to a peanut festival, but when in Rome! 

I knew there would be a parade so when I was getting AB dressed I suggested a dress I thought was festive. She said the dress was "too much like another country flag. Kind of like an Africa flag. This is an America parade." She settled on her disco dress.

The parade had the usual Shiners in their little cars, an Army band, and several pageant queens. I've not been around the pageant scene much so I didn't know that the US National Forestry and Turpentine Pageants are apparently a Big Thing. The parade had all manner of Miss, Ms, Teen, Little Junior Miss, Tiny Miss, Teeny Miss and Baby Miss ladies. Would I sign my children up for pageants? No. Did their gorgeous crowns make me want to change my mind? Yes, they did.

I did a full face of makeup because I had heard that Jimmy Carter might be at the festival. As a former peanut farmer, he still supports the industry and is the main attraction when he shows up. I seldom wear eyeshadow these days as it's too hot, but I wanted to make a good impression in case I bumped into Jimmy at the general store. It's been a lifelong goal to meet a president and I wanted to make a good impression. I have a deep, deep fascination with the White House, presidents, and their families. It's no secret that I've been running an eight-year-old campaign for Christopher to be president so I can be First Lady. I may not be a democrat but I am an equal opportunity citizen when it comes to meeting presidents so I purchased a ticket for his book signing. I was afraid to let this moment pass by because all the old presidents are aging rapidly and I was afraid JC might die before I met him.

The calendar may have said it was the first day of Fall, but the thermometer read over 100*.  I was sweating from every part of my body as I waited in line. My foundation was melting. Mascara was in little drips under my eyes. I had put sunscreen on my face but not my feet and they were burning as I waited. I had an ice cream stain on my shirt. My once tidy hair was in a messy bun. I truly thought I was going to pass out. The lady two groups behind me was a know-it-all who wouldn't stop talking. For almost an hour she shared her "knowledge'' on every topic someone brought up. I am not my best self in the heat and I almost snapped. The only reason I didn't was the lady directly behind me made the incorrect statement that everyone in line was a democrat. Since I am not, I didn't want to give her stories for her next dinner party about the conservative girl who hit the woman in the head with a Jimmy Carter book about faith.

Eventually, I got to the front of the line and saw the man of the hour. It was a very quick in and out meeting. The man behind Jimmy's right shoulder gave enough glares to get the point across that it wasn't social hour. Keep moving, people! Get your signature and go back out into the heat! 

It would have been nice if after my near experience with heat stroke I could have pulled up a chair to discuss the best rooms in the White House, but I can save that for next time. Now that I know where to find him I'll be swinging by his house every weekend.

somehow every post turns into a discussion of the heat

Back in our childless days, we spent several weekends driving to Nashville for concerts and events. It was a carefree, laidback time.

This weekend we met Pete the Cat. 

How the times have changed. 

Where before we clapped for Josh Turner, we now count down the days until we can meet a blue cat in the multi-purpose room of the local library. I really talked up how fun it would be to meet him because I didn't want to get there and have AB be too scared to say hello. The last time we met characters at the library I had to be the one to hold their hands to show her they were nice. The day before the meet and greet, Annabelle told me, "You know, Mom. It will only be a person that's dressed up like a Pete." Why is the magic of childhood already fleeting? I thought for sure she'd think he was the real deal.

Sesame wanted to bring little Pete the stuffed animal to meet big Pete. We were making labels the other day (we were very bored) and she wanted one that said Max for Pete to wear as a collar. Maybe Pete has a double identity that I don't know about. She got a blue guitar painted on her face and would have left a happy camper had that been the only activity. 

Look at the joy on her face! She forgot what she said about him not being real when she saw him. She went right up and hugged him like an old friend. 

Big Pete liked Little Pete aka Max and flashed his signature two thumbs up. "Mama, I think he thought that my Pete was groovy. Don't you think so? Pete likes groovy things. Big Pete, not little Pete. Little Pete is only a pretend stuffed animal. I don't know what he likes since he's not real. What does he like? Do you know? I think he likes his new shoes. Does he like new shoes?"

I spent some time in that afternoon painting Annabelle's new playhouse. Shortly I'll be able to do a big reveal but I want to document now that it is a labor of true love to build a playhouse in this burning furnace of a place. It's been never-ending heat for almost seven straight months now. I am over it. I'm ready for cooler weather and by that I mean I'll take anything below 70*. I just want it to be below 96* at 6:30pm! I've asked around when it will get cooler and the general consensus is "maybe November." NOVEMBER. I saw an ad for deodorant specially formulated for Georgia heat and immediately ordered some. I don't know if it's really different from any other deodorant but the ad reeled me in, hook line and sinker. I will do anything. 

We walked to the mailbox today and Annabelle brought the stepstool so she could reach the mail. Not 12 feet into our lengthy walk, she asked me to carry the stool because "It's so hot. It's one inch hotter than Africa out today." Inches, degrees. Potatoes, poetatoes. 

Out of the mouth of babes.

an interview with myself

I saw these questions floating around instagram and since I've been floundering for blogging material, I decided to answer them here.

I grew up... in the same bedroom, in the same house, on the same street, in the same state, attending the same church, from the day I was born until the day I got married.

Someone who has influenced me... my grandma. I lived next to her for 21 years and saw her almost every day. I hate being so far away from her now. I don't know if I didn't realize it when I was younger or if she's always been like this, but she is so so funny. We laugh so hard every time we're together we usually end up crying. I think that's why she's lived to be 91; they say laughter makes you live longer. When mom had the twins, Grandma took months off from her weekly card club so she could help out. She would do our grocery shopping and take one of us big kids with her every week. We'd do the shopping then stop at McDonalds for lunch. We'd always get Grandpa an apple pie while we were there because she adored him and knew he loved the pies. She taught me how to play rummy and told me that it's important to always have a deck of cards handy. Just last week I was out with a friend and I pulled a deck of cards out of my purse when she mentioned teaching me a card game. 

A thing that changed my world view... This isn't change so much as an adjustment. I've always been anti abortion but it wasn't until I was pregnant that I started to understand why some women might feel it's their only option. I was SO SO sick the entire time and the only way for me to have physically felt better would have been for the baby to no longer be there. I wouldn't have gotten an abortion to feel better, but those 272 days (but who's counting) gave me more sympathy for others. For the record, if you're thinking of having an abortion because you don't think you can care for the baby, please give it to me. I will take all the babies I don't have to carry inside me.

I am strangely good at... catching flies with my hand. I used to swat at them with towels, clothes, anything that had a good snap to it. I've learned the best way to catch them is approach them slowly then capture them in your fingers. They see the towel coming and they're outta there. A hand catches them off guard. It's not an exaggeration to say I've caught about 10 flies with my hand this summer. I've also been known to pet bees. I have so many talents. 

A defining moment in my life was when... It took me a while to come up with an answer for this one. Seeing Josh Groban was one of the greatest moments of my life but it wasn't defining. The best I could come up with was when I first felt bonded to Annabelle. I liked her when she was born and would have said I loved her, but it wasn't any different than how I loved the children I babysat. I always felt like she was someone else's child who was left at my house and the mother never came back. When she was about 6 weeks old I was singing You are My Sunshine and she smiled at me. It was the first time she reacted like that to something I did and it sealed the deal on our relationship. We've been mutual fans of each other ever since.

Recent discovery I can't stop talking about when... Walmart grocery pickup. They always give me a bottle of cold water like I've been the one doing all the hard work. All I have to do is order online, show up, and have the groceries put in my car. It's magical. 

Something I'm struggling with right now is... my weight. I've been exercising and eating all the right foods without one bit of improvement. I weigh the same now as I did the day I had Annabelle. I lost all my pregnancy weight by my 6 week appointment but here we are. I am so self conscious about it. I generally keep things light and breezy around here but sometimes the heavy topics (lolz) come up.

My magical reset button is... a walk on the beach or a good nap. Unfortunately we don't live near the beach and my sweet child doesn't provide many opportunities for naps.

In 3 months, ask me about... how my diet/exercise routine is going. Bring klondike bars in case it hasn't been going well.

wanted: mayoral assistant

I don't mean to brag, but I learned yesterday that I'm the mayor of America.

I always wanted to be the First Lady and consider this a pitstop on the way to achieving my goal. Annabelle informed me of my new political office then said she worked at city hall and would help me with mayor things. I said I wanted a list of students at the town school (in her bedroom) and she said she couldn't do that because she's not the teacher. I asked her to make a list of the jobs in town and she didn't want to. I asked for a snack but she refused to get me one. She will not be in charge of my reelection campaign.

Of course nothing can top my big political gains, but we went to Aldi grocery store on Monday and that was pretty close. Eighteen-year-old Sarah would have been so embarrassed if she knew how excited I was about going. I shopped at Aldi's all the time in New York but haven't been in months. The closest one is almost two hours away so I can't run in whenever I need something. Our original Labor Day plans were canceled due to weather, so we made new plans that revolved around a trip to Aldis.

At this point I'd like to pause and say that I assume you all want to spend the weekend with us. A trip to the grocery store! What fun! What more could you ask for? I'll be opening my travel agent business next week.

We picked up Jason's Deli for lunch then drove to a park for lunch. Annabelle instantly dropped her hot dog on the sandy ground and I washed it off with my water bottle. She took two bites then dropped it again. That's how I learned my limit for washing off hot dogs is two. After lunch we went wading in the river. It was so pretty. It had rocks creating mini waterfalls and little streams. There were little pools deep enough for AB to "swim" in but swallow enough she could stand. Unfortunately, navigating the slippery rocks was like an octopus trying to ice skate. It was a mess. People were slipping and sliding all over the place. I'm surprised Annabelle didn't get her arm pulled out of the socket after all the times we had to pull her up.

Actual footage of our walk over the rocks. No matter how many times I reminded her to walk slowly, she went down over and over and over again.

I managed to not fall and get soaking wet so I was the only one who went into Aldis. I had my cart quarter, my bags and my lengthy list. It's was like being reunited with an old friend. An old friend who was plotting against me. I knocked over not one, not two, not even three, but FOUR displays. I knocked over something in almost every aisle. It was so embarrassing. I was a bull in a china shop. I shouldn't even have to do my own grocery shopping. After all, I am the mayor. Don't I have a person for that?