Saturday, April 13, 2019

I hope the next ticket I get won't be from the police

When we last spoke, I was patting myself on the back for having nary a blemish upon my criminal records. 

Pride goeth before a fall because the very next day I accidentally stole a bottle of rosehip oil from TJMaxx. 

I had looked at multiple bottles and couldn't find the particular one I had decided on. After buying things I didn't need, I got into the car, reached into my purse for gum and saw the bottle of oil I had been looking for. I wasn't going to drive away with it, but I wasn't sure how to sneak back in the store without looking suspicious. It was one of the few times I've wished I had Annabelle with me during a leisurely shopping trip because it would have been easier to say she carried out. Yes, I wanted to blame my child! It would have been so much easier than the current situation I found myself in which was I had put the bottle in my open purse instead of the cart. I've been shopping on my own for decades but suddenly I don't know the proper place for unbought items? Who would buy that story? I slunk in like the criminal I was and pretended to be looking for my keys while I stuck the bottle back on the shelf. I'm sure it was all caught on security camera and it will follow me around for the rest of my life along with my spot on the Walmart watch list. 

Yesterday morning we went to a Native American festival/powwow. We went with our friends and she suggested we go Friday while the school kids were in school. What we failed to consider was the school kids being in school meant the school kids would be at the same park, going to the same powwow as us. We didn't realize this until it took us 30 minutes to get through the front gate when it normally takes 4 minutes. 

I hadn't been to an indian festival in several years and learned quite a bit. I learned that, according to one man knowledgable on the topic, the terms indian and native American can be used interchangeably without offending the people of that culture. Annabelle enjoyed seeing how the indians made something useful from each part of the animal they had hunted. Every time someone walked by dressed in traditional garb, she'd grab my hand and loudly say, "THOSE INDIANS ARE SO SCARY." That's not the kind of thing you want to be broadcasted when more than half the people there were indians. 

The ballet recital season is really ramping up. We have extra rehearsals and are constantly being asked to spend money on photos, ads, etc. Today was the first day to buy tickets. Ticket sales started at 9:45 and when we showed up for the 10:05 rehearsal, parents had already been in line for more than 30 minutes. A lady walked around, assigning numbers for purchasing tickets. Everyone was comparing numbers to see would get their tickets soonest. Some people waited over an hour for tickets to a kids recital. You would have thought it was Black Friday. The seasoned moms studied the seating chart like it was a textbook. All us new moms looked at each other and said it was ridiculous. At this point, we're more invested in keeping our girls from getting runs in their tights than getting seats A1-12. It's not a big theater and no matter where you sit you can see the stage. I want a good seat but not at the expense of being trampled by over-dedicated dance moms. 

I'm pleased to report that I paid good American cash money for the tickets. None were accidentally stolen. 


Laura Darling said...

Don't worry, if you land in prison I will write you letters to keep you updated on all the goings-on with Big and Boo and any new mascara you may need to try upon your release.

The pow-wow sounds so interesting! My sister has said the same thing about the term Indian, she said that all of her co-workers and friends actually prefer that term. She also said they like to be called 'natives.' They don't find either of those terms offensive. I had no idea either until she told me that!

Julie said...

They are going to put your picture by the door as a woman to watch.

rooth said...

I'll post bail for ya when we have to pick you up from the slammer :)