the blog swap that almost didn't happen

A few weeks ago I signed for for a Fall themed blog swap. Then I completely forgot about it. I wish I could say that I forgot because I lost my planner, but the fact of the matter is I know exactly where my planner is. I just forgot. And that, my friends, is why I was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off (it was so attractive!) three days before I needed to mail out my package.

I was paired up with Alyson from Vintage Sunshine. I LOVE her blog name. Why didn't I think of it?  She sent me this fun package.

She also sent some candy corn M & M's, but they didn't last long. My very favorite thing is the hoop art with our initials. The colors match my craft room perfectly! (Alyson makes lots of fun hoop arts which can be found here.) Thank you, Alyson! If I'm ever paired up with you again I promise I will be prepared weeks ahead of time! ;)

a rather lengthy story about what I'm thankful for today

( Alternately titled: I believe it's safe to say my imagination is alive and kicking.)

Our typical morning routine goes something like this:

At 5:15 the worlds most annoying alarm goes off and Christopher moans and groans happily hops out of bed. At 5:22 he comes back to the room to say goodbye and I mumble something like I hope he has a good day, doesn’t forget to eat lunch, and as always, SEMPER FI! Except I never say that because we aren’t Marines, but I really can’t be held responsible for what I say before 6am. I normally go to sleep for a while longer before beginning my day.

This morning started off in the usual way. Alarm went off, he said goodbye and left, locking the door behind him. Just as I was drifting off to sleep, the house started creaking and making all sorts of disturbing noises and my brain decided to tell me that someone else was in our house. Always a comforting thought. I got up, turned the bathroom light on, and locked the second deadbolt on the door. Just as I was lying back down, that unfriendly portion of my brain said to me, “You know, if you’re not the only one in the house, you probably did yourself a disfavor by turning the second lock. That just means you’ll have TWO locks to undo as you run for your life.” I just love my brain in the wee morning hours. I certainly wasn’t going to unlock the door because that would basically be hanging a Welcome to our house! The door is wide open so why don’t you just waltz on in a make yourself comfortable sign on the door. So, I reached under the bed and pulled out my secret weapon reserved for such a time as this. 

I’ve never had to use it but I like to be prepared.

Just as I was falling asleep again, the neighbors upstairs started making noise. They never make any noise before 6:20 and the sudden rush of water and shutting of doors did nothing to comfort me. They really should alert me if they plan on rising earlier than usual. AND THEN I heard two male voices outside the door and the jingling of keys. I was so scared and thought this really was the end. Not only was someone in my house, someone on the outside was trying to get in By now I was hurriedly a) formulating my plan of attach b) figuring out my escape escape c) wondering how to use the pepper spray in the drawer. A few minutes later I heard keys in the door and a whole lot of banging. I got out of bed and tiptoed halfway to the door before remembering I needed my glasses if I intended to have a good idea of what this person looked like. After all, the police would probably appreciate a good description. I looked through the peephole and saw……..Christopher.

The ONE day I start having a panic attack about someone being in or breaking into my house is the ONE day he comes home after PT. I swear I aged 15 years before 6:30am.

Long story short- I am thankful for three things this Thursday:

My bat
My glasses (I would have hated to hit my husband with a bat as he entered his own house.)
That no one was in or trying to break into my house

Linking up with Lisa for Thankful Thursday!

he may want to reevaluate his life

When asked what show he'd like to spend a day in, this is what Kevin said:

What type of ridiculous life does Kevin have that being chased by zombies who are trying to eat him would be REFRESHING?! 

please take note if your name is featured below

Dear Walmart,

   I appreciate that at least two of your fine establishments have been near each home I’ve occupied in the last year. I always know where to find rollback prices when I need them. What I don’t appreciate is each Walmart (grand total of SEVEN) has a different layout. That’s seven layouts, for those who don’t feel like doing math. It takes me three times as long to do my shopping when I go to where I think bread should be and find diapers instead. All I’m asking for is a little continuity.
   While you’re at the board meeting discuss to the aforementioned problem, feel free to discuss the need to introduce some new baby shoes into your stores. You’ve had the same styles across four states for the last year. 

*

Dear Lowes and Home Depot, 
    If you’re wondering what happened to all your paint chips, look no further.

*

Dear Allison,
   I miss you. Please come visit me asap. Feel free to bring Elmo and all your clothes because I'd like you to stay a long  time (read: forever).

 *

Dear Christopher,

   I’m sorry for choosing late o’thirty when you were lying in bed as the perfect time to tell you my history with rollercoasters and amusement parks.   

*

Dear boy smoking by the gas tanks,
   You might want to relocate.

the grass on my side of the fence is a lovely shade of green

Monday night I lay in bed thinking about all the things that had gone wrong in my day. After about twenty minutes of having a pity party with myself, I decided I really didn’t have much to complain about.

I was frustrated with the doctor for not understanding what I was saying. But that means I’m able to see a doctor whenever I need one.

I was annoyed to sit in the pharmacy waiting room for almost an hour only to not get the correct medicine. But that means I have access to medicine.

I was irritated that it was raining and the umbrella was in the other car. But that means we’re not in the middle of a drought.

I felt my vanity was bruised because my favorite jeans don’t fit as well as they used to. But that means I have food to eat.

I didn't feel like cleaning the cooktop again. But that means I have a nice kitchen.

I was sad that I don’t get to see Zachary and Molly as much since I’ve moved. But moving means that I get to make friends like Jenn and fall in love with her little munchkins.

I got slightly bothered because we don’t have the same idea of how to decorate the house. But that means I have a house to live in, things to decorate it with, and someone to dance with on Sunday nights.

When I looked at it that way, I really didn’t have much to complain about at all.

iPhone, uPhone

I got a new phone recently.

For some people that wouldn't be worth mentioning, but my old phone was from 1943 so moving to a 2012 phone was quite the leap.

(Was it necessary to put the arrows and dates? Sometimes I have a sneaking suspicion that I point out the obvious.)

For months I said I DID NOT want a phone with internet access. I didn't need a phone to make me coffee or sings lullabies. All I needed was a phone that made calls, sent texts, and took pictures. (I'm pretty sure those last two were on the list of requirements Alexander Graham Bell's mother had when she got her first phone.) I feel like I spend more than enough time on blogs/facebook/google/more blogs/"research" for my blog/various websites so I didn't want to carry around a little internet in my pocket. Mr. iPhone (aka Christopher) did his best to talk me into a smartphone. He kept saying it's important to stay up to date with technology so that when I'm old I'll be able to keep up. I think he's afraid I'll become like the elderly man we heard on the radio who said, "You can visit our world wide website any time you want. It's really great because that website is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." I was under the impression that most websites operate on a 24/7 basis, but apparently he wasn't. I kept saying that I am perfectly capable of using smartphones and whatever technology comes down the road right now, but I have no plans on being technologically inclined when I'm 68. I will be perfectly happy to attend Red Hat Society meetings and talk about my grandchildren. Besides, I think it's a little early to be worried about what technology I'll have to face in 40 years. My big concern right now is what to make for supper.

Fast forward to our visit to the Verizon store. I had to convince the salesman that I would not die if I didn't have the internet, so please point me in the direction of the (apparently) old fashioned phones. He showed me a particular phone that met my requirements but alas, it had an ugly background that couldn't be changed (total First World problem!). I asked if there were any others and he said no, not unless I ventured into the land of smartphones.  It took two grown men to talk me into getting a phone with internet.  The salesman pointed out I could update my Facebook status while I was out shopping, but that wasn’t a good argument as that’s exactly what I'm trying to avoid. Finally he told me the smartphones were $50 cheaper than the others. Well. He should have just mentioned that in the beginning because that won me over. Think of all the necessities like picture frames and scrapbook paper food and gas I could buy with those $50!

And there you have it.- the lengthy story behind my new phone. Brevity was never one of my finer qualities.

For the record, Mr. iPhone needed me to explain the ins and out of Twitter. Maybe we should be a little concerned with how well he handles new technology.

(ps. I still only use the phone for calls, texts and photos. The Verizon man would be disappointed at the lack of witty statuses updated-from-my-phone.) 

not only at I am a loss for material, I can't think of a title

I feel like I've been in a blogging rut lately. It's become my tradition whenever that happens to post a collection of mildly to moderately interesting photos. 

When we lived in the Virginia I was fighting a constant battle with necklace storage. In a stroke of brilliance I found just the thing.

The words you're looking for are "klassy and sophisticated".

Thanks to Hobby Lobby I now have a more, shall we say, normal people method of necklace display. 

There are no Hobby Lobby's where I grew up and now I live down the road from one so I feel the need to visit there every week. I will never forget Joann's and their "use as many coupons as you have" policy, but I've made a little room in my heart for Hobby Lobby. My house will be beautifully decorated by the time I'm done there. I'll be broke, but I'll have a beautiful house.

Just for fun, here's Elizabeth with the necklaces I took camping this summer. One must be properly accessorized, even while in the woods.

We have some new additions to our little porch. (I have to be very careful saying the words "new" and "addition" because Mom immediately thinks she's about to have another grandchild and she starts planning a baby shower.) Someone in our complex was selling two wicker chairs so I snatched them up. Aren't they pretty?

Both families I babysat for in New York had baby boys this month. (Let's not talk about how sad I am that I can't kiss their little cheeks.) I wanted to give them something they wouldn't be likely to get, so I bought some onesies and appliques at (where else?) Hobby Lobby and made these.

I was having trouble getting the applique to stick (apparently the towel I was ironing over was too thick) so I asked Christopher if he had any helpful ideas. He looked at it for about 3 seconds, took off his shirt and ironed over that. It worked like a charm. I honestly didn't think he'd have any ideas but I was wrong. I don't know why I'm always surprised when he's creative because he did propose with buttons. If that's not the definition of creative I don't know what is! 

Does anyone know what BMW stands for?

Every time I hear a new military acronym I store it in my brain under Important Letters I Should Remember when Trying to Sound Like a Military Professional, or ILISRWTTSLAMP. See what I did there? I just created a new acronym. I hope it Army is taking notes.

The other day I heard someone on tv mention BMW. I instantly began searching through ILISRWTTSLAMP for what BMW might mean. The only B acronyms in my brain were BDU (aka  uniforms for my nonmilitary friends) and BAH (housing money). Maybe it meant Brigade Moves West or Battalion Means War or most likely, Boots Move Weird.

Then I looked at the tv and saw this

and this.

Turns out it was a car commercial. 

As the kids on both the military and civilian street would say, LOL.

a few facts

Fact: The day after I saw the mayor, I went to the bank to sort out debit card issues. The lady at the desk asked for my license and after investigating it, she looked at me and said, “Do you realize this expired?”  Excuse me? “It did. Look at it.” I looked at it and to my horror discovered that it expired IN MAY. I was in shock. I was mortified. I FELT LIKE A CRIMINAL. 

Fact: I have driven in six states since May.

Fact: Blogging from jail would have taken this blog in a whole new direction.

Fact: One of the reasons I decided to renew my license in my home state and not get one from my current state is quite simple. There’s simply NO WAY on earth I’ll ever again get as good a license picture as the one on that Massachusetts license. It really is impressive. (I don’t believe I’ve ever said anything quite so vain.)  

Fact: I just finished putting pictures up on the wall. Despite my best measuring/penciling/tipping my head to the side efforts, I hammered in and pulled out each nail twice. At least I have a real hammer this time. We didn’t have one at our last house (technically we had one but it was in storage and OH MY GOODNESS HERE I GO WITH TOO MANY DETAILS AGAIN) so I used the bottom of a glass pepper grinder.  

Fact: Last night Christopher was explaining something to me and he said, “It’s like the difference in gas consumption between a Prius and an Expedition.” It’s humorous that he thinks I would know about gas consumption in different vehicles. All I am generally interested in when it comes to cars is the color. 

I couldn't have said it better myself

Sunday

the aisle is a pretty popular place to be these days

When Christopher first started emailing me he said I blogged about weddings a lot. I started to argue then stopped because it's true. Between Daniel and Andrew's weddings, my wedding, Marylynn's wedding last week, Katie's upcoming wedding and all the weddings between, I might as well turn this ol' blog into a wedding portfolio of sorts.

I have no plans to stop blogging about weddings because Kim, my favorite Army girlfriend...

...is (as of Wednesday!) going to join me in Army wife-hood!

I am so excited for her! AND...she asked me to be in the wedding! Is it necessary to say that I said yes?! 

(It just occurred to me that I didn't ask where the wedding is going to be. That's probably an important detail. )

the day we saw the mayor (and weren't too impressed)

Today was an interesting day.

I got lost in the town I lived in for 22 years. I got stuck in a hospital parking lot and couldn't find my way out. I slipped not once but FOUR times while going from the parking lot to the hospital in the rain. You can just call me Grace.

This afternoon I took Elizabeth down to city hall so she could register to vote. I love voting and was so excited to share the joy with her. I hope she has better voting success than I've had in the last 6 years. Only two of the people I've ever voted for have won. TWO. Basically you can bid farewell to your political career when I fill in the circle near your name. 

It's a pity she wasn't more excited to be joining the ranks of privileged voting Americans.

You see the man by Elizabeth's head? It's the mayor. I recognized him as we walked in but didn't point him out to Elizabeth until we were through the door. I didn't want her to run over and start proclaiming adoration for the direction he's pointing our fair city in when WE DON'T LIKE HIM. Naturally I voted for his opponent which is why Kevin won. Still, a person of note is a person of note and I've never been one to walk by and not photograph a person who is mentioned on Wikipedia.

He spent 95% of the time we were watching him rolling up his sleeves. (Point of reference: we watched him longer than the length of one Brad Paisley song.)

Eventually Elizabeth shook her head in disgust and said, "Dude, it's time to stop rolling up up your sleeves and START WORKING!"

I think we know who she won't be voting for come November.

the wedding post with only two pictures of the happy couple

Yesterday I went to one of the most anticipated weddings of my life. (Not an exaggeration.) Katie's sister Marylynn (finally) got married. I have known Katie's family FOREVER and missed Joy and Colin's wedding last year thanks to the Great Plague of 2011 (oh the tears and sadness), so I was determined not to miss this one. I had a minor wardrobe incident when my foundation decided to pour down the front of my dress, but I was able to use half a bottle of Shout to get it out. I went to the wedding smelling like a Shout factory which obviously was my plan all along. 

This is the point where I would insert a beautiful picture of Marylynn and Ben pledging their lives to each other for the rest of eternity. I do not have such a picture, but it was a beautiful wedding and I was SO happy the entire time.

I know I say all children are my favorite, but I think Katie's siblings really are. Just look at how cute Peter and Anna are. I think they like me too because they named one of their chickens after me. (I promise there's no correlation between my personality and the animal named after me. They just happen to have 30 chickens named after people they like.)

This summer was the 21st anniversary of the great Katie and Sarah friendship. 

Katie and Zac are the next couple to walk down the aisle. I'm the Matron of Honor in their wedding scheduled for January. I'm excited for the wedding, but using the word matron in reference to myself makes me feel 75 years old. 

The family wrote a song for Marylynn that was a complete tearjerker. 

Katie's parents are so sweet. They may have 11 kids of their own, but they've always made room for me. One of my favorite vacations was the week I spent at their house.

Oh look! I finally stopped taking pictures of the same three people and started photographing the happy couple!

We all wish Marylynn and Ben the happiest of marriages and, dare I say it, an abundance of children! ;)