I don't think I have a future as a mechanic

Monday afternoon I took our car, Gretchen, to the car doctor. She had been suffering from tire air deficiency issues and I was tired of going to the gas station every single day to fill up the tire. So, I drove down to the car place praying all the way that the tire wouldn't go flat on me.

I had never taken a car to the mechanic own my own before, a fact which I hoped wouldn't be too obvious to the whole place. I hoped in vain. I explained to the guy what the issue was and sat down in the waiting room. He popped back into the room and the following conversation transpired:

*

Him: "Do you have a reela key?
Me: "A what key?"
Him: "A reela key."
Me: at a complete loss over what a reela key was but pretty certain I did not own one "Um, no. I don't think so."
Him: realizing he's dealing with a complete novice in the car world "That's ok. It's probably in your trunk."

I went back to reading about winter fashions (for less than $600 per outfit! What a bargain!) all the while wondering what a reela lock key was. Maybe he meant rear lock key. In that case, I could have informed him that the key on the car remote unlocks ALL the doors in the car. I don't know what was going on; it was all very confusing.

Just as I started reading where Angelina Jolie wants to send her children for high school, Mr. Main Mechanic came to the doorway and asked me to step into the garage. I'm pretty sure everyone working there knew they were in for some form of entertainment courtesy of the girl who doesn't know about cars, because all four people crowded around to see what would happen. That's when this conversation happened:

*

Mr. Main Mechanic: "Did you run over a pothole?"
Me: thinking back over our driving during the last 8 months "Nooo, I don't think so. But maybe. I'm not sure."
Mr. Main Mechanic: "Well, I can't find any leak here. It seems pretty full."
Me: trying to say something helpful and intelligent "Would that be because I just put air in it today? I've put air in it every single day and the screen in the car says it's still low. My husband said to put air in it until that little air tire thing (I demonstrated by moving my pointer finger up and down very energetically) says it has 35 whatevers in it."

I didn't dare look at any of the other mechanics crowded around after that statement. I don't think I could have said anything more unintelligent sounding than "that little air tire thing" and "35 whatevers". On the bright side, I'm sure they appreciated my demonstration of what the little air tire thing does.

After that, Mr. Main Mechanic showed me two tires- the current one with absolutely no grip left and a newer one. He also showed me how the rim was bent which was making the air hiss out. Even I understood that's NOT supposed to happen. 

Eventually Gretchen and I were back on the road with a new tire and a true appreciation for those who do the technical care of the car so I don't have to. When I was telling Mom about the trip, she asked if they mentioned anything about "the tube". Thank goodness they did not. Who knows what would have come out of my mouth!